Childcare worker's behaviour outside work?

*SuzySue*

Some good friends were absolutely mortified when their 1 year old started repeating "fuksake"everywhere. They modified their behaviour.

I do swear but not obsessively. I would be lying if I said I'd never sworn in front of my daughter, but I don't make a point of it and I have never, ever sworn at her or called her names. I think that's a pretty poor style of parenting, personally.

IrishRose12

Ok my apologies, I did think it was Atom, I've never had a reason to question it before TBH just thought it was another one of those sayings.
Never heard it pronounced as Adam before though, and I suppose that's either my hearing or it's just the way it's said here where I live. I have just posted it on my facebook though asking if it's atom or adam and the majority are saying atom. Have just said both words out loud and they sound the same so it's obviously how I pronounce it lol. So I do stand corrected.

I do not think I'm being bullied though, however it's not a nice thing to see people laughing at me when I come on. Or being accused of having another account. I have one email address and as far as I'm aware I couldn't make another account on that one. Not that I have a need to either. People obviously have different sayings/phrases etc. But there's no need to laugh at them or their mistakes.
There's also no need to tell me I should be ashamed of myself or I dislike my children. I love them with all my heart, and I love my job, I get so much pleasure of helping a child learn to write their name, or learn to read a book, or see them growing from a baby (4 years old is still a baby to me) into a young lady.
I don't appreciate being told that I am a terrible parent or my style of parenting is poor. That hurts my feelings, I do think it is crossing a line, when you don't know me, my children, my family, the area I have been brought up in or how I do my job.

marisco_2

IrishRose12 wrote: »

I am the one who has the soft spot for the children who teachers can't be bothered about. I.E the disruptive ones, the wee weak ones, the ones who the teacher has a dislike to and they never get picked for anything.

The one thing you don't mention doing is raising concerns about any teacher who has this approach to children in his/her class. At the school where I teach there is a policy that any professional working with our pupils, whether that be dinner ladies, playtime assistants, TAs, INAs, teaching staff etc, who excludes a child or blatantly shows favouritism, should have their conduct noted with the SENCO or a member of the senior management team. What you describe as happening above simply wouldn't be tolerated. Nor would any of my colleagues cover it up and try to make up the difference themselves. Long term that does not solve the problem, only adds to it.

mrcow

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Ok my apologies, I did think it was Atom, I've never had a reason to question it before TBH just thought it was another one of those sayings.

:rotfl: We've all done that and don't you believe anyone who tells you otherwise!

I went round for years thinking that Sister Sledge were "making love in a Femidom". I still to this day don't know what they were singing about!

poet123

Oh yes, we have, there are loads of lyrics that surprise me when I see the written down, and I have been singing them wrong for years. However, the chances of two posters, on the same thread, from Ireland, who have been/are a TA using the same incorrect version of a well known saying are....low, very low, imo of course.

victory

poet123 wrote: »

Oh yes, we have, there are loads of lyrics that surprise me when I see the written down, and I have been singing them wrong for years. However, the chances of two posters, on the same thread, from Ireland, who have been/are a TA using the same incorrect version of a well known saying are....low, very low, imo of course.

So are they the same person?

poet123

victory wrote: »

So are they the same person?

I think you would have to make your own assessment of that.

Georgiegirl256

victory wrote: »

so ispatientmummy and irishrose12 both the same people?

No idea??? Surely no one in their right mind would go to that much trouble?

victory

poet123 wrote: »

I think you would have to make your own assessment of that.

Nothing would surprise me on this forum:D

Remember the thread where 1 person posted and then the actual real OH came into the thread so it was us the posters and them the couple? Weird:D

GobbledyGook

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Again, if you READ my posts I have always said that the girl was out of order. Not once did I defend what she did to the OP and her friend, and not once did I say it was OK what she said/did.

What I was saying was that there is no proof at all that this is the ways she behaves in work, and that just because this is how she behaves outside of work, doesn't mean this is what she is like in front of the children she is looking after.
I know that I'm a different person in work than I am at home. For a start I'm much more relaxed at home as I don't have to worry about parents criticizing my work, how I do my job and also having to let children get away with so much, because thanks to parents who think their children are little angels who don't know the meaning of the word discipline and the word NO, we have all these child protection rules where you can't even tell a child off when they have hit another child, you have to be nice to them!
If it were my own child in the street doing that to someone else I'd have them grounded for at least 3 days and they'd be given a good rolicking (telling off)
Secondly I am a lot more stricter at home, and I think that is because I have saw over the years how children in work come in and behave, and how their parents don't give a damn, and also how the children (some as young as 4) have no respect what-so-ever and don't know the meaning of the word No.
I don't want my children growing up like that, my children know the difference between right and wrong, they know not to argue back or shout at their teachers/assistants, and if I were ever to find out they did do that, then God help them, they wouldn't see the light of day for a long time! They don't get new toys every day/week, they don't get money handed to them left right and center, and they are made to look after their belongings. If they break a toy for example or lose something and it was their fault, then no, they won't get a replacement straight away. They will have to earn that back again.

But still, in answer to your question, no I don't think the nursery should be informed of it, unless I knew for absolute definite that my child was in danger from her, what she does outside of her workplace in her own free personal time, is nothing to do with the nursery. They can't do anything about it, unless they have a valid reason and proof that she is off her rocker.

And if I was called in by my boss for something I done in my own free and personal time they'd be told just that, and if it were to go any further I would take them to a tribunal.
It is no-where in my contract stating that I have to be professional at all times and I have to act a certain way outside my workplace, and if it did, I wouldn't be in the job as I have the right to do whatever I like in my own free and personal time.

If you read what I actually said you'll see that I didn't suggest the nursery manager called her in, far less tried to discipline her.

All I'm saying is that it's surely understandable that a parent would be slightly concerned about a new member of staff being seen to use language like that to and about a small child; within the earshot of several children.

I also don't see the relevance about how wild or spoilt some kids are. I worked in schools I know how wild some kids are. I know how stressful children and parents can be. However the only child in the OP being left to do whatever they wanted and then had their mother dive to their defence was the nursery workers child.

I also only suggested that perhaps the nursery manager may like to know that her staff member has been witnessed doing so - mostly because she can reassure a parent who is concerned. However it also gives the NM an opportunity to keep an eye on a new member of staff who may (MAY - not definitely) be unsuitable to work in a nursery.

There is no way to have 'proof' that the children are in any danger from her until after the fact. Sometimes lots of little bits of information added together make a big picture. Sometimes they don't, but when it comes to children giving people all the information is the best way to go.

Anyway we'll have to agree to disagree on this one I think. I wouldn't mind at all a parent mentioning something I'd done to the HT when I worked in a school. I'd much prefer people raised concerns rather than turning a blind eye. Too many times we see people saying after the fact 'oh well I seen x or y' when it's too late (and I'm more talking about kids in homes with DV and the likes rather than being overly dramatic thinking millions of kids get beaten by nursery workers before anyone starts on me!)