Childcare worker's behaviour outside work?

meritaten

I will hold my hands up and admit I have sworn in front of my kids and grandkids - but NOT at them. and as for calling another persons child a f'king psycho, NO, I couldn't do that. or screaming and swearing at a parent cos the kids got into a 'spat'? no, spats happen, you just separate the kids and mouth 'sorry' at the other parent. I thought that was what normal people did? and trained childcare workers, now I would expect them to be even more relaxed about it. so to defend someone who is behaving appallingly says a lot about people.

IrishRose12

poet123 wrote: »

I wonder if this is an Irish thing? Some friends of ours went to a wedding in Ireland last year and she was astounded at the way the f word (although said as f e c k)) was so routinely used. I have been to Ireland a few times though and never encountered it, but she said in the family setting of the wedding it peppered the conversation regardless of who was there.

Not to make it seem like this is an excuse, but you could have a point there TBH.

It is quite normal in our family and in our circle of friends. Where I live it's a normal thing to hear and not unusual. I do draw the line at the children cursing though.

Although I have to say also, I have family in England and it's not uncommon there either to hear curse words to be used, not just in the family home may I add. I did learn not to say frig there though as that's apparently a really bad word yet it's an everyday word here.

IrishRose12

meritaten wrote: »

I will hold my hands up and admit I have sworn in front of my kids and grandkids - but NOT at them. and as for calling another persons child a f'king psycho, NO, I couldn't do that. or screaming and swearing at a parent cos the kids got into a 'spat'? no, spats happen, you just separate the kids and mouth 'sorry' at the other parent. I thought that was what normal people did? and trained childcare workers, now I would expect them to be even more relaxed about it. so to defend someone who is behaving appallingly says a lot about people.

Again, I am not defending this woman at all, I have stated quite a few times that the girl was out of order, however I did say it had nothing to do with her place of work what and how she behaves outside of working hours in her own personal time.

I don't behave like this lady outside of work, and never have, nor do I scream and shout at children, especially ones who I don't know.

So again I am saying QUITE CLEARLY as some people on here only seem to be able to read CERTAIN PARTS OF MY POSTS, that I do NOT and never will agree with what the lady did to the OP or the child.

wapow

!!!! has a different meaning in Ireland and it is not a swear so I've heard but now that I've said this you can google it to see if its correct or not.

GobbledyGook

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Again, I am not defending this woman at all, I have stated quite a few times that the girl was out of order, however I did say it had nothing to do with her place of work what and how she behaves outside of working hours in her own personal time.

I don't behave like this lady outside of work, and never have, nor do I scream and shout at children, especially ones who I don't know.

So again I am saying QUITE CLEARLY as some people on here only seem to be able to read CERTAIN PARTS OF MY POSTS, that I do NOT and never will agree with what the lady did to the OP or the child.

Surely though you can see why people would be concerned about someone who turned on another person and said things like that about a small child, within earshot of multiple children, being in charge of their child?

Yeah, the nursery can't do anything about it, but do you not think they'd want to know? It's not about going in there and demanding the woman is sacked, it's about mentioning to the nursery manager (who the OP stated she had a good relationship with) about the incident.

It might be that the NM knows the woman well, knows it would be a bad day and she'll take the information and then forget about it. Or it could be that this woman is utterly unsuitable to be working with children and raising a concern in the mind of the NM might make her more vigilant and safeguard all the children.

Air_Cooled_75

IrishRose12 wrote:

Not to be rude but those of us who work in education/childcare sector don't have to be as good as gold every minute of the day.

We do have our own lives outside of the workplace, and our actions shouldn't reflect on our workplace. If it was inside school then yes, but in our own, free personal time we can dance up and down the street naked if we wanted to!

Quite, but in this day and age everyone has smart/camera phones and it wouldn't be long before someone found out. And you can bet it would impact on your employment!

*SuzySue*

Gosh! I really wasn't expecting so many replies!

By way of an update I spoke with the nursery manager today. I calmly outlined the events and said that I wasn't complaining about any conduct at work, but that I was concerned by the employee's conduct outside. She was great. She told me that the employment contract clearly states that they are not to bring the setting into disrepute, and that she should have known better than to act that way. She did seem to be surprised, so hopefully it was a one off during an off day rather than a normal reaction (rather than an indication of some really deep seated mental issues). Her posting to our setting is temporary until a member of staff returns from maternity leave (after easter) so I'm happy. The nursery manager won't take any action but will just keep an eye.

She's a newly qualified "NVQ level 2" apparently.

IrishRose12

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Surely though you can see why people would be concerned about someone who turned on another person and said things like that about a small child, within earshot of multiple children, being in charge of their child?

Yeah, the nursery can't do anything about it, but do you not think they'd want to know? It's not about going in there and demanding the woman is sacked, it's about mentioning to the nursery manager (who the OP stated she had a good relationship with) about the incident.

It might be that the NM knows the woman well, knows it would be a bad day and she'll take the information and then forget about it. Or it could be that this woman is utterly unsuitable to be working with children and raising a concern in the mind of the NM might make her more vigilant and safeguard all the children.

Again, if you READ my posts I have always said that the girl was out of order. Not once did I defend what she did to the OP and her friend, and not once did I say it was OK what she said/did.

What I was saying was that there is no proof at all that this is the ways she behaves in work, and that just because this is how she behaves outside of work, doesn't mean this is what she is like in front of the children she is looking after.
I know that I'm a different person in work than I am at home. For a start I'm much more relaxed at home as I don't have to worry about parents criticizing my work, how I do my job and also having to let children get away with so much, because thanks to parents who think their children are little angels who don't know the meaning of the word discipline and the word NO, we have all these child protection rules where you can't even tell a child off when they have hit another child, you have to be nice to them!
If it were my own child in the street doing that to someone else I'd have them grounded for at least 3 days and they'd be given a good rolicking (telling off)
Secondly I am a lot more stricter at home, and I think that is because I have saw over the years how children in work come in and behave, and how their parents don't give a damn, and also how the children (some as young as 4) have no respect what-so-ever and don't know the meaning of the word No.
I don't want my children growing up like that, my children know the difference between right and wrong, they know not to argue back or shout at their teachers/assistants, and if I were ever to find out they did do that, then God help them, they wouldn't see the light of day for a long time! They don't get new toys every day/week, they don't get money handed to them left right and center, and they are made to look after their belongings. If they break a toy for example or lose something and it was their fault, then no, they won't get a replacement straight away. They will have to earn that back again.

But still, in answer to your question, no I don't think the nursery should be informed of it, unless I knew for absolute definite that my child was in danger from her, what she does outside of her workplace in her own free personal time, is nothing to do with the nursery. They can't do anything about it, unless they have a valid reason and proof that she is off her rocker.

And if I was called in by my boss for something I done in my own free and personal time they'd be told just that, and if it were to go any further I would take them to a tribunal.
It is no-where in my contract stating that I have to be professional at all times and I have to act a certain way outside my workplace, and if it did, I wouldn't be in the job as I have the right to do whatever I like in my own free and personal time.

meritaten

IrishRose12 wrote: »

Again, I am not defending this woman at all, I have stated quite a few times that the girl was out of order, however I did say it had nothing to do with her place of work what and how she behaves outside of working hours in her own personal time.

I don't behave like this lady outside of work, and never have, nor do I scream and shout at children, especially ones who I don't know.

So again I am saying QUITE CLEARLY as some people on here only seem to be able to read CERTAIN PARTS OF MY POSTS, that I do NOT and never will agree with what the lady did to the OP or the child.

I understand that IrishRose - and believe that you wouldn't behave that way. But, if you think that your behaviour outside of work doesn't impact on your workplace, then please read your contract again. Because most employee contracts these days contain a clause that YOUR behaviour, IF IT impacts on your company in a negative way is cause for dismissal. My OHs does and I know that my most recent employers (in retail and hospitality) also had that clause.
I wasn't having a go at YOU - but your belief that your behaviour outside work is none of the employers business. it isn't so.

amus

I was sworn at as a child and I absolutely hated it. All it did was make me rebel even more because it wound me up so much.

For this reason although I do swear quite a lot I never swear at my children and I never call them names, I am however quite strict.

As the adult in the relationship it is our responsibility to set the standards of acceptable behaviour, and calling children names and swearing at them does not do that.