Childcare worker's behaviour outside work?

poet123

It is not necessary to shout and swear at children to bring them up to be respected and respectable adults. Frankly it worries me that you would think that.

Not bringing the reputation of your employer into disrepute is an inherent part of most contracts of employment and would come under the blanket heading of gross misconduct.

MrsAtobe

IrishRose12 wrote: »

I wonder did anyone actually read in my post where I said that the woman in question was out of order, before they decided that I'm not allowed to do what I want outside of work.

It says NO-WHERE in my contract that I have to be fake or nice to people outside of my workplace.
I have children of my own, there are a hell of a lot of things that they are not allowed to do, they are punished and I do shout/yell at them, sometimes swear at them when I need/want to.

I don't do this in work though, because you are not allowed to and I wouldn't want to as they are not my children. My children are brought up the way many of us were brought up a decade/2 decades ago and more ago. They are brought up in a strict loving home, they have rules and they know what discipline is. They are not brought up the way most children are these days where they are allowed to run mad, they get away with murder, and they know how to respect their elders and others around them.

I pride myself in being able to be professional in work where I have parents coming in to me saying little jimmy hurt my child's feelings yesterday, or when we are subjected to abuse when parents are told they have to do something or their children are not allowed to do something.
I am actually at the moment working with one of my niece's (hubby's sister's daughter) but she doesn't know we're related as me and my husband don't speak to her parents after a huge fall-out. But no matter what my feelings about them are, I remain professional in the workplace and pass pleasantries when I need to.

As I said, just because this girl was out of order to you and your friend outside of working hours, does not mean that she is like this in the workplace. I' pretty sure if she was, she wouldn't be allowed to work with children.
Someone else on here questioned you OP and I may have missed the answer so I hope you don't mind me asking again. Are you absolutely sure the girl who shouted abuse to you is the same one who works in the nursery?
If you do decide to go to the nursery - which again they can't do anything about as it was outside working hours obviously. - but just ensure it was infact that girl, for all you know it may have been a sister/twin/cousin. Or someone who just looks like her.
We have 2 parents in our class this year who are a spit of each other yet there is no relation whatsoever.
We also have a child in our class now who is a double of a past pupil, you would swear blind they were sisters, yet they are no relation either. So just make sure it was definitely her before raising your concerns.
But also be aware that the nursery may just think you have something against the woman (which you have every right to have) and just think you are trying to cause trouble. That's been known to happen also.

Bringing your employer into disrepute is frowned upon in any profession. People have been sacked for assault.

You may consider swearing at children as acceptable, but I don't. Neither does my sister, who's a teaching assistant. I don't even swear at my dog, although there are times he makes me feel like it. The O H on the other hand, is fair game.

Mojisola

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

At least the woman would then know where to go for help if she wanted it, if you gave some information.

Because a stranger has diagnosed her as having mental health issues?

Unbelievable!

*max*

Regardless of whether people should or shouldn't behave the way they like outside of work, I wouldn't trust someone who is capable of losing her temper that way, period. The fact she works with little kids makes it even worse! It doesn't matter if it was outside of her working hours, it shows her character, and I wouldn't want (my or anyone else's) children to be looked after by someone like this.

If I were to have someone look after my child, I would want that person to be kind and well-behaved naturally - not just because they're at work and have to! I have never effed and blinded at anyone, nevermind a child - and I don't work with kids. You'd think someone who does would have a little more patience and self-control than even the average person when they chose looking after children for a living! She's in the wrong job. I would definitely talk to the nursery.

PatientMummy

How do any of you know that this woman or irishrose are not kind and patient around children naturally?? Maybe this girl was having a bad day, maybe she had a tough day in work, I don't inow, but judging her on this event alone is a bit judgemental and jumping to conclusions! The same as irishrose. Just because she swears, shouts and punishes her own children doesn't mean that she isn't kind and caring towards her children or the children she looks after. I have been lurking on here for a few months now, and have noticeded quite a few threads esp over the past week where parents are intent on putting people who work with children in schools or nurseries down, gotta say a lot of you must have had terrible chilhoods growing up, if people on here are saying they've never shouted at or swore at someone or their children, it's reasons like this our children are the way they are today. God help them when they've to enter the real world by themselves with no cotton wool or ear plugs to protect them from society. By the way, some people on here really know !!!!!! all about anyone in the eduaction sector or any other type of job if you think people aren't putting on an act. You're lucky there are teachers and assistants who are willing to do what they do as the amount of work, stress, and abuse from both pupils and parents that they have to put up with on a daily basis is worth no amount of gold, to put up with what they do, they have to love that job very much to stay at it, without so much as a thank you sometimes. You need the patience of a hundred sainrs to out up with what they have to take, without veing able to reply!

dandelionclock30

Mojisola wrote: »

Because a stranger has diagnosed her as having mental health issues?

Unbelievable!

Its quite obvious she has anger issues from screaming shouting and swearing at a 3 year old. Its not a massive step to suggest she may like to consider anger management.
Not unbelievable at all.
I said she may have an underying mental health issue, you need to learn to read.

Would you say someone who behaves like this doesnt have an anger problem lol? Honestly god help us.

dandelionclock30

mrcow wrote: »

Are there really "loads"?
Or is it just that we hear about them when they are because it's so shocking that it's plastered all over the news?

I agree, either way, it's not what's being discussed. But any teacher with even a pinch of common sense understands that there are certains behaviours that should not be displayed. I would include swearing and shouting abuse at parents in a play scheme in amongst those!

A couple of hundred or so, I know someone who works for the Governmnent department that does the banning. Lots dont get to the papers stage.

mrcow

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

A couple of hundred or so, I know someone who works for the Governmnent department that does the banning. Lots dont get to the papers stage.

I'm sure it does go on. But I also I think that the vast majority of us are professional enough to control our conduct inside and out of the classroom.

Obviously most of us wouldn't dream of behaving as the worker in the original post. It would be unthinkable. And most of us wouldn't dream of going round shouting and swearing at children in order to discipline them (our own or other people's). We don't have to put on an "act" either. If we did, we wouldn't last very long!

poet123

PatientMummy wrote: »

How do any of you know that this woman or irishrose are not kind and patient around children naturally?? Maybe this girl was having a bad day, maybe she had a tough day in work, I don't inow, but judging her on this event alone is a bit judgemental and jumping to conclusions! The same as irishrose. Just because she swears, shouts and punishes her own children doesn't mean that she isn't kind and caring towards her children or the children she looks after. I have been lurking on here for a few months now, and have noticeded quite a few threads esp over the past week where parents are intent on putting people who work with children in schools or nurseries down, gotta say a lot of you must have had terrible chilhoods growing up, if people on here are saying they've never shouted at or swore at someone or their children, it's reasons like this our children are the way they are today. God help them when they've to enter the real world by themselves with no cotton wool or ear plugs to protect them from society. By the way, some people on here really know !!!!!! all about anyone in the eduaction sector or any other type of job if you think people aren't putting on an act. You're lucky there are teachers and assistants who are willing to do what they do as the amount of work, stress, and abuse from both pupils and parents that they have to put up with on a daily basis is worth no amount of gold, to put up with what they do, they have to love that job very much to stay at it, without so much as a thank you sometimes. You need the patience of a hundred sainrs to out up with what they have to take, without veing able to reply!

I work in education and I have four children and I am not a saint.

I have never, ever, sworn at a child or behaved in any way that could remotely be compared with the woman in the OP. My kids are almost all grown up now, but strangely, they have managed to get through life and now working life despite being scarred by not being sworn at during childhood.;) How do they cope?

Contrary to your position I think it is those who do swear at children whose childhoods may have been less than pleasant. Children learn by example, and if that is their example the cycle perpetuates.

I work in the sector because I love it, I don't put an act on when I go out of the door, if you have to do that you are in the wrong job. Yes, we all have bad days when we moan and complain to our colleagues about all and sundry related to education and the hoops we jump through on a daily basis, but that is very different to taking out your angst on the children or their parents.

You and Irishrose seem very alike!;)

RuthnJasper

*SuzySue* wrote: »

The nursery worker shouted "get your f'ing psycho kid away from my son". When things had calmed down she stood so close to my friend that their noses were almost touching and said "your f'ing kid's a f'ing psycho. He shouldn't be out. You're obviously a f'ing terrible parent."

I wouldn't want anyone to speak to my dog like that, let alone another person in a public children's play area crammed with tots.

I appreciate that people do get exasperated and tired, but using that sort of language in front of - and about - small children is inexcusable. Concerns should certainly be raised.

And IrishRose - when do you "need/want to" swear at your own children? Do you dislike them that much so that you have to swear at them as though they were lairy louts getting out of hand in a nightclub?