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Husband insisting I work full time
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Tell your OH that you're not willing for LO to go to nursery full time, so either you go PT or he does. His choice.
...and the household chores thing, I don't even know where to start. You seem to be perpetuating the myth that it's somehow a woman's place to do all the housework, even when they work full time. You should both sit down together and agree the minimum chores that need doing. Split them 50:50. Obv you could still do any cleaning you think needs doing above and beyond that (if you have higher standards than him).
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” Arthur C. Clarke
He is taking the mick expecting you to work full time to provide a life of luxury plus do most of the chores. If he wants more money he should think of ways to improve his own potential rather than expecting you to do it for him.
I work part time at the moment and would not give up the time I have with my little boy unless there was no alternative. Yes we would be marginally better off if I worked full time, but the difference is not worth my sanity and the fact that I can be around for little one's childhood.
I think if you go back full time you will become very resentful of your OH for making you do so. Start as you mean to go on with this - agree part time, and also for the days you are working long hours your OH needs to step up & do his share of the chores.
I'm not sure exactly how much per day £17000 works out at, but even if he gets £50 per day after tax spending £10 of this on lunch is insane!! So 1/5 of his wages on lunch unless you make it for him?!? No wonder he feels like you have no money!! xx
There's no way on earth I'd be going back FT, no matter what the salary, my time with my LG is far too precious. In my field, only FT jobs exist, so I'm looking for a PT role a level (or 2) below what I could be applying for, which means taking around a £7k pay drop. I'm just lucky we can afford it. Chores we share pretty much equally - I do shopping/bills/washing (I don't iron!), DH does the outside stuff - bins/cars/garden. We share things like hoovering and dusting. I cook coz I enjoy it. Things like DH lunch I do if I find a spare five mins when doing our tea, otherwise he does it.
We did consider me going back FT and DH staying at home (PT doesn't exist for him either), but after having LO on his own for a few days last month, he decided that going to work was much less stressful lol!
Many years ago I was in a similar situation to yours - and in the end I just said No. I said that my decision was best for the baby, for my health and wellbeing and for us as a family. Obviously my husband couldn't force me to do what he wanted and within a short time, he agreed I'd been right. Your husband sounds like a royal pain, to be honest - try to get him to see he's behaving like a total ar*e and if he can't see it, I would struggle to understand why you'd want to stay in a relationship with him.
Best wishes
MsB
I do however agree that the replies would have been totally different were it a new dad saying he were the larger earner and he wanted to cut his hours to spend time with the baby. I doubt that his wife would have been derided for *only* earning £17,000 or that there would be comments that she was not a 'real woman' if she didn't get out there and earn more.
December £361.54, November £322.28, October £288.52, September £374.30, August £223.95, July £71.45, June £251.22, May£119.33, April £236.24, March £106.74, Feb £40.99, Jan £98.54) Total for 2017 - £2,495.10
We have had a more civilised chat tonight and I've taken into account a lot of your comments. I felt that most of them were on my side and he apologised for disregarding my suggestion so quickly and said he will support me whatever I decide. So I'm going to do the 4 days. Part of his problem is resentment that he can't do part time, so he's also going to speak to work and see if that's a possibility. It won't make a difference financially (as DD won't have to go to nursery that day).
We have also discussed the housework issue (again!) we are going to make a list of all of the jobs I do and then share them out more equally and it's going to start with him preparing 2 meals a week now. I'm also only going to make his lunch if I can do it the night before- don't care if he prefers fresher sandwiches!!
Sounds like you need a new OH!
I would do as little work as possible to be able to spend time with LO you can't get that time back. You will spend what you make so try living on as little as possible. Once you get used to having more it will be harder to get back
Anyway without considering child care etc. Using http://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/prorata.php
Previous salary was £24 000 monthly take home after tax £1,606.23
New salary £35 00 Full time take home.
4 days (30hrs) £1,832.89
3 days (22.5hrs) £1,436.23
I was going to suggest that
If he gets out of bed on time to make fresh ones then you can have the ones you made the previous night for your own lunch.
Has your OH spent a full day alone with your baby .. My OH works most Sundays so has a day off with her nearly every week and he now appreciates how tiring it is properly looking after her (not just sticking cbeebies on!) and trying to get housework done. He now cooks at least 50% of the meals and tries much harder with house jobs. We both agree a day keeping her entertained is just as tiring as going to work just different tiring.
“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” Arthur C. Clarke