Husband insisting I work full time 1 April 2014 at 8:04PM in MoneySaving mums 62 replies 19.1K views

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

Can I ask what your housing situation is? Are you in rented or owned?

NoAngel

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow wrote: »

Can I ask what your housing situation is? Are you in rented or owned?

We own our house. Its a lovely house just a bit small for us now but not so small that we need to urgently move or anything but it'd be nice to have more space (one big bedroom with an attic room accessed via the bedroom where the baby sleeps)

NoAngel

FatVonD wrote: »

I can understand you wanting to spend more time with your little one and the one day's money you lose would have (mostly) been taxed at 40% so you won't be losing as much as it sounds.

I do however agree that the replies would have been totally different were it a new dad saying he were the larger earner and he wanted to cut his hours to spend time with the baby. I doubt that his wife would have been derided for *only* earning £17,000 or that there would be comments that she was not a 'real woman' if she didn't get out there and earn more.

What do you mean about being taxed at 40%? Sorry if I sound stupid here.

thorsoak

If you earn over £31,866 pa in the year commencing 5th April 2014, then you will be taxed at 40% - see http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/rates/it.htm#2a

notanewuser

thorsoak wrote: »

If you earn over £31,866 pa in the year commencing 5th April 2014, then you will be taxed at 40% - see http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/rates/it.htm#2a

Wrong. It's £32k PLUS the £10k personal allowance. So assuming the OP is on the standard tax code she wouldn't have anything taxed at 40%.

RuthnJasper

NoAngel wrote: »

Thank you for the replies. Going part time isn't really an option for him at the moment as its a family business that they're working hard to grow and he is needed 5 days.

I genuinely have to listen to this rubbish about his job being manual and therefore harder than mine. Which is ridiculous as my job is demanding though I do really love it.

I am not exaggerating about the fact that I do everything at home. At the moment I even wake up earlier than him to make his packed lunch and wake him up before seeing to the baby, I know I sound like a pushover but otherwise he takes £10 each day for lunch at work and I was just trying to save some money.

I sort of worked out how much difference me taking one day off would make and it's fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

I'm really annoyed to be honest. He's saying that he's fed up of not having any money and how all of our friends have more money. I've explained that his salary doesn't 'entitle' him to these luxuries. Just because he works hard and is tired does not mean that he is entitled to a new car, bigger house, more disposable income etc.

I'm so fed up. I really think that LO would be much better off having an extra day with me.

Saving pennies- what did you mean in your post? Do you mean maybe he DOES want me to be part time? And that his job is more tiring than mine?

He does sound very childish and petulant. Is it possible that he is in some way jealous of the LO...?

Hope you can get this sorted without too much (more) hassle. But's not fair that he gets to dictate terms - it should be a fair compromise.

Best wishes to you. x

thorsoak

notanewuser wrote: »

Wrong. It's £32k PLUS the £10k personal allowance. So assuming the OP is on the standard tax code she wouldn't have anything taxed at 40%.

Of course ...forgot about the personal allowance - sorry for giving duff information!:o

BrassicWoman

re: lunches. I make sandwiches once a month and freeze them. They've defrosted by lunchtime. Taste fine and surprisingly not soggy.

Better_Days

Just to add you never know what the future may bring. I used to work FT, but decided to go PT for a better work/life balance (although we didn't have children)

Roll on a few years and I developed a chronic illness and was retired on ill health grounds in my early 40's. I am so glad that I went PT and had that extra day a week when I was well enough to do what I wanted. If you can afford to I think spending time with your baby now is more important than the money. You will never get those days back. I hope it goes well for you.

duchy

I went back part-time when our son was nearly nine months old. My then DH had really wanted me to go back fulltime but the numbers really didn't add up so I found a job working 3 days including Saturday so we only needed two days childcare as he worked Monday to Friday.
That first Saturday was a complete revelation to him. I'd tried to make it easy- prepared bottles and lunch for our son. I came home to a complete warzone -the lounge was in chaos. son was sitting surrounded by toys giggling and OH was slumped on the floor exhausted. His first words to me "He's so much hard work" (He was actually a very good and happy baby ) .
I smiled and said "So what's for dinner then?" (he'd previously given me a hard time if dinner was late or I wasn't on top of other jobs as he considered staying home with baby the easy option). Needless to say it was takeaway for dinner .....and he never ever again asked me "What on earth do you do all day"

smile24 wrote: »

I work 4 days slightly longer days and massively appreciate my 1 day mid week with my 2 year old.

Has your OH spent a full day alone with your baby .. My OH works most Sundays so has a day off with her nearly every week and he now appreciates how tiring it is properly looking after her (not just sticking cbeebies on!) and trying to get housework done. He now cooks at least 50% of the meals and tries much harder with house jobs. We both agree a day keeping her entertained is just as tiring as going to work just different tiring.