Arguing over money!

dktreesea

Having separate friends isn't so unusual. My OH and I have pretty much always had separate friends. Our friends don't really like to do the same kinds of things and they don't really mix well.

19lottie82

Does your OH benefit from your car? And if so, does he contribute towards the running costs?

Gigervamp

dktreesea wrote: »

Having separate friends isn't so unusual. My OH and I have pretty much always had separate friends. Our friends don't really like to do the same kinds of things and they don't really mix well.

It's not unusual when it just happens to be that way, but telling your partner that you don't want him/her to be friends with them too isn't right. You can't tell people who they can or can't be friends with.

BunnieJ

Does your OH benefit from your car? And if so, does he contribute towards the running costs?

He pays for petrol if I'm driving him somewhere e.g. his parents, but as he doesn't drive himself he doesn't pay for insurance, I pay that myself.

We only use the car when we both go out (I walk to work, he gets the bus or cycles) so in theory he should pay half, but I have never asked him to as it's my car.

When he gets his license I will add him onto my insurance policy and he has agreed to pay his share.

Having separate friends isn't so unusual. My OH and I have pretty much always had separate friends. Our friends don't really like to do the same kinds of things and they don't really mix well.

We do have separate friends, but I left all mine when I moved to Bristol, so I have kind of been tagging along with his friendship group since I moved.

With an attitude like that I'm not surprised your having problems.

So it's perfectly fair for one person that earns £13k to pay the same amount as the person that earns £26k? If that was the case I would have diddly left at the end of the month and my OH would be sitting pretty! Hardly a great foundation to build a happy relationship on!

Even when he lived with housemates, he had to agree to come down to what the lowest earning person could afford to pay.

CH27

BunnieJ wrote: »

He pays for petrol if I'm driving him somewhere e.g. his parents, but as he doesn't drive himself he doesn't pay for insurance, I pay that myself.

We only use the car when we both go out (I walk to work, he gets the bus or cycles) so in theory he should pay half, but I have never asked him to as it's my car.

When he gets his license I will add him onto my insurance policy and he has agreed to pay his share.



We do have separate friends, but I left all mine when I moved to Bristol, so I have kind of been tagging along with his friendship group since I moved.



So it's perfectly fair for one person that earns £13k to pay the same amount as the person that earns £26k? If that was the case I would have diddly left at the end of the month and my OH would be sitting pretty! Hardly a great foundation to build a happy relationship on!

Even when he lived with housemates, he had to agree to come down to what the lowest earning person could afford to pay.

Well maybe you should have rented somewhere where you could afford to pay half of the rent & bills.

System

So it's perfectly fair for one person that earns £13k to pay the same amount as the person that earns £26k? If that was the case I would have diddly left at the end of the month and my OH would be sitting pretty! Hardly a great foundation to build a happy relationship on!

Of course its not but this should have been talked about before you moved in with him. Presuming he'd take over the the majority of the bills and he'd let you off with the money you owe is a bit naïve of you.

Personally, I wouldn't have moved in with him if it had meant I was going to get into debt.

BunnieJ

Of course its not but this should have been talked about before you moved in with him. Presuming he'd take over the the majority of the bills and he'd let you off with the money you owe is a bit naïve of you.

Personally, I wouldn't have moved in with him if it had meant I was going to get into debt.

I have never "presumed" he would pay most of the bills/let me off with the money I owe him. We had already discussed this before I moved in.

Currently we both pay in half of our earnings for the "household" which we agreed on when I moved to Bristol.

Now I have a budget plan/being paid correctly by my employer, I will be able to start paying him back what I borrowed.

After 6 years of a LDR there is only so much not being together you can take. Why do people get married? That puts them in thousands of pounds worth of debt, yet they still do it!

Mojisola

Why would you keep your money as "mine" when you're sharing every other aspect of your life?

BunnieJ

Mojisola wrote: »

Why would you keep your money as "mine" when you're sharing every other aspect of your life?

Personally, I think everything should be "ours" but my OH disagrees.

Maybe if we ever got married/had lived together for a long time he might change his views.

For now I have to respect what he thinks and pay him the money back I owe him.

Listerbelle

I haven't read all of this thread.

Has anyone suggested that you show it to him?