Arguing over money!

tayforth

BunnieJ wrote: »

Tbf, he did invite me to Centre Parks, but I declined as I didn't want to spend money I didn't have/borrow money from him. Also, they're his friends and I would rather spend my money on a holiday just for us.

You declined because you'd be in debt to him? Did you tell him this?

BunnieJ wrote: »

Another thing about my OH (although the has relaxed this rule slightly since I moved) is that he thinks we should have separate friends. If I used to try and add any of his friends or housemates I'd met on Facebook for example, he would make a huge fuss about not wanting me to be friends with his friends. He seems to have dropped that now, but I still have to do all the arranging/organising if we get invited out as often he doesn't bother responding to invites etc.

Separate friends? :eek:

Rules???????

He sounds very controlling. Perhaps he's never really dealt with his parents' breakup. Either way, he doesn't sound like he wants a real partnership with you. Sorry if this sounds harsh xx

Tink2

BunnieJ wrote: »

. I think it's only fair he contributes more than me!


.

Not if you're using half of the stuff

It's not his problem you get paid less, he shouldn't have to pay out more because of it

CH27

BunnieJ wrote: »

^I agree totally! I have no problem setting up a joint account for our bills as I know it has worked previously with housmates (arguably it should be less of a problem with your OH than with people you just met at uni...)



I hope that my OH and I will eventually get to that place and not have to worry about who earns what/who owes who/who pays for this etc, but for now we have only just started living together and I get why he doesn't want to share everthing right now.



It's hardly my fault how much my employer pays :mad: and as I said, I'm in the process of looking for a new job! My current salary is £13.5k whilst my OH's is £26k. Neither of us earn big bucks, but he still earns more than I do and probably always will because of his career path. I think it's only fair he contributes more than me!



My OH doesn't drive and I have an fairly old car (Suzuki Alto 02 Reg) which my nan gifted to me when she stopped driving. It's not the best car, but it gets me from A to B. I would love to get a new car but I know my OH would rather we save up for a house deposit, so I take that into consideration before making big purchases.

But you are using half of everything so why should he subsidise you?

System

I think it's only fair he contributes more than me!

With an attitude like that I'm not surprised your having problems.

paulineb_2

Tink2 wrote: »

Not if you're using half of the stuff

It's not his problem you get paid less, he shouldn't have to pay out more because of it

Some couples do organise their household funds in a percentage split so that the person who earns more, pays in more, they each pay a percentage of their salary.

Not everyone will do a straight 50/50 split if they earn different amounts

Indie_Kid

CH27 wrote: »

But you are using half of everything so why should he subsidise you?

But he does have more disposable income than her.

Mojisola

If a couple want to go 50/50 on the bills and one earns a lot more than the other, then they have to live according to the income of the lower earner otherwise he/she would be in debt or have no money left after paying the bills.

Of course this leaves one partner with a lot of spare money every month which they can save, spend on themselves or be bountiful towards their partner.

As long as both partners are happy with the situation, it works. More often it sets up resentment and tensions in the relationship.

Tink2

paulineb wrote: »

Some couples do organise their household funds in a percentage split so that the person who earns more, pays in more, they each pay a percentage of their salary.

Not everyone will do a straight 50/50 split if they earn different amounts

True, depends what they BOTH agree to

Her attitude of he should pay more is appalling though

CH27

Indie_Kid wrote: »

But he does have more disposable income than her.

And he's struggling to pay for everything so something needs to give.

paulineb_2

Maybe they need to have a sit down and see what they are spending and see if there are ways they can save money, like a lot of people do on this forum, work out if they are getting the best deals, gas and electricity for example, see if there are other savings to be made, don't think it would hurt if they are both struggling financially.