As my name might suggest...

Confusedandneedhelp

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

She is telling you your relationship is over, but given the way you act is unable to tell you properly. You have meltdowns over the slightest thing, create huge imaginary goings on over the smallest things like a necklace, and probably question her endlessly about what she's doing. When she goes out to the pub to relax you're there angling to get back with her.

She's trying to tell you something in the way us women do when words have failed.

Thanks.

I do have issues with trust and control so am hoping to address these in therapy and by actively taking ownership of my self

We've actually spoken more since this anyway. And I don't really know what to think but will upsate

Confusedandneedhelp

Well I don't know what to think. 4 days ago i thought the relationship was over too. But last 48 hours are hopefully the start of something better for all of us.

She's talking to me ( really need to be more patient ! ) and actually listening to what I say.

My understanding. Is that she actually does want to be with me, just not with my issues ( which suits me fine, it's the cause of a lot of my problems ).

I've cut ties with people who I thought were my friends. We were talking about our problems and she pointed out how I had been with regards to her and choosing my mates first. And actually they aren't really friends anyway, they take the !!!! constantly even when I'm not around, they actively excluded and even persecuted her. And I never told them where to go, until now. Actually feel better for it. I don't need people like that holding me back. All they do is drink and periodically swap partners when bored with relationships. I have far more important things to do.

I've decided that actually my ex partner, when I've really thought about it, hasn't given me many reasons to not trust her. So why do I constantly think she's off with someone else ( well bad experiences from my past but not with her ).

We are going to arrange a regular schedule for me to see the kids, and for me to have time to sort myself out. I do get a strong message from her that she wants this to work, in fact I think she's more !!!!ed off it took me so long to do.

Regarding Wednesday night, she actually told me exactly what she thought, and pretty much what others have said. She was sick of not having time to relax.

I actually don't care what she does, she's a good person, and if she wants to wait for me she will, if not I still get to see kids often and get the help I need too.