Should a child ask for food or just take it?

Cottage_Economy

Personally I'm glad there are people bringing up their kids to check with parents first before taking food (not ask, check), otherwise you end up with an adult like my husband who eats everything with no regard for anyone else because his mother let him free access to everything.

There have been times in the past when he's taken an entire victoria sponge to work before I got up on the basis he has a slice or two with his lunch every day so he might as well take the lot. The fact I may like a bit with my afternoon tea doesn't enter his head.

After a few years of this I eventually snapped after he swanned off to work taking the last pack of tea bags because he had run out, without thinking there were none in the tin for me to have a cup that morning because he used the last one the night before.

Now he says "you got any plans for XYZ" or "how many of these can I have?"

So he doesn't ask, but he does generally check now as he has accepted that female in his peripheral vision also eats some of the food in the house.

Well apart from the four blueberry muffins that disappeared off the side on Monday and haven't been seen or spoken of since...

MidLifeCrisis_3

quidsy wrote: »

Yes, anything in the fridge needs permission but the op was specifically talking about an apple from the bowl. This is why we have a snack bowl & a fruit bowl, anything in the bowl is free to have as a snack & as long as I am doing my job in feeding my kid regular meals then he has no reason to be stuck in the fridge or cupboard.

That's the thing it wasn't specifically about the apple, more about that this is the first time he hasn't asked and whether other people thought their kids ought to ask or not and at what age. Maybe some responses would have been different if I'd said a block of cheese, a family pack of doritos or chocolate?

ETA I spoke to a lady I know and her kids are 11 and 15 and they always ask and if she is out and they are home they phone her to ask if they can have something. I would never expect mine to phone me if they wanted something, but they aren't left home alone at this age.

Mojisola

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

Personally I'm glad there are people bringing up their kids to check with parents first before taking food (not ask, check), otherwise you end up with an adult like my husband who eats everything with no regard for anyone else because his mother let him free access to everything.

Not necessarily. None of ours would behave like that because they learned about sharing and taking other people into account in all sorts of ways - not just regarding food.

duchy

quidsy wrote: »

Lots of people are talking about manners, which fair enough apply when in someone elses house

Surely basic manners apply at home too. Please and thank you and basic consideration for others start at home and are learned at home....not just put on when you visit someone else's home.

3wisemonks

QUOTE=quidsy;65099758]Yes, anything in the fridge needs permission but the op was specifically talking about an apple from the bowl. This is why we have a snack bowl & a fruit bowl, anything in the bowl is free to have as a snack & as long as I am doing my job in feeding my kid regular meals then he has no reason to be stuck in the fridge or cupboard.[/QUOTE]

Sorry must have mis-read I thought the apple was just an example was it not?

Regardless I feed my children regular meals however, they are active, growing children who may prefer a few sticks of carrots instead of a peice of fruit, I don't consider them to be stuck in the fridge just fancy a different snack and in my opinion there is no harm in asking whatever it is they may want.

Tealover I'm the same my mum and dad are fab and their home is still mine but I would still ask before taking even though I know the answer would always be yes

flea72

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

Personally I'm glad there are people bringing up their kids to check with parents first before taking food (not ask, check), otherwise you end up with an adult like my husband who eats everything with no regard for anyone else because his mother let him free access to everything.

There have been times in the past when he's taken an entire victoria sponge to work before I got up on the basis he has a slice or two with his lunch every day so he might as well take the lot. The fact I may like a bit with my afternoon tea doesn't enter his head.

After a few years of this I eventually snapped after he swanned off to work taking the last pack of tea bags because he had run out, without thinking there were none in the tin for me to have a cup that morning because he used the last one the night before.

Now he says "you got any plans for XYZ" or "how many of these can I have?"

So he doesn't ask, but he does generally check now as he has accepted that female in his peripheral vision also eats some of the food in the house.

Well apart from the four blueberry muffins that disappeared off the side on Monday and haven't been seen or spoken of since...

Lol, its obviously a man thing. OH eats what he wants without consideration for others. He does now ask if i want something, but if i say no, he takes that to mean i dont want any at all, not that i just dont fancy any at that particular moment. So hell eat it all. A few days later ill ask where, x, y, z is and hell be like, you said you didnt want any!

MidLifeCrisis_3

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

Personally I'm glad there are people bringing up their kids to check with parents first before taking food (not ask, check), otherwise you end up with an adult like my husband who eats everything with no regard for anyone else because his mother let him free access to everything.

There have been times in the past when he's taken an entire victoria sponge to work before I got up on the basis he has a slice or two with his lunch every day so he might as well take the lot. The fact I may like a bit with my afternoon tea doesn't enter his head.

After a few years of this I eventually snapped after he swanned off to work taking the last pack of tea bags because he had run out, without thinking there were none in the tin for me to have a cup that morning because he used the last one the night before.

Now he says "you got any plans for XYZ" or "how many of these can I have?"

So he doesn't ask, but he does generally check now as he has accepted that female in his peripheral vision also eats some of the food in the house.

Well apart from the four blueberry muffins that disappeared off the side on Monday and haven't been seen or spoken of since...

Check is probably a better word than ask, because that's what it's about thinking of others and not just your own tummy. Let me know if those muffins ever turn up :rotfl:

Acc72

Generally, I was brought up on a "first up best dressed" policy (actually, thinking back it wasn't even an issue).

It depends on the context.

A child taking an apple from a bowl of apples is very different from having (say) 3 children, 3 packets of crisps in the cupboard and one child taking and eating all 3 packets rather than considering their siblings.

arbroath_lass

Gillyx wrote: »

My OH will eat 4 slices of toast of an evening, I'll be in bed completely unaware and he toddles off to work in the morning and when I go to make my toddlers breakfast there is no bread. That drives me absolutely bonkers.

Whilst I appreciate your partner is being inconsiderate eating the last of the bread why not just buy more before you get to the last four slices?

OP I wouldn't expect a 10 year old to have to ask for something to eat. Some things would, obviously, be off limits but he is old enough to know that.

jackie_w

I don't mind my own children helping themselves to food in their own home, however, they have to ask for sweets, biscuits or crisps so I can monitor their intake of "junk food".

My 17 year old will come in and tell me when he is cooking something, but I think that has more to do with seeing if I will say I will make it for him lol.