Should a child ask for food or just take it?

quidsy

We have a snack bowl on disply & my ds (7) knows he can have what he wants from it at any time. Anyting else he asks. Crisps, chocolate 7 other high sugar treats are kept on the top shelf of the pantry & only come down when I either offer or he asks for something.

If something was being kept specifically for a packed lunch then put it in a container in the fridge & if neccesary with a note on top. Getting all worked up over a kid taking an apple out of a fruit bowl is a bit precious imo.

3wisemonks

I was bought up to ask first and I expect my children to.

First its good manners, second the food they want my be ear marked for lunches or dinner etc.

If my child asks for an apple but its required for lunches then I'll offer an orange, banana, kiwi etc.

To my memory they've never helped themselves before asking and they've never questioned why they have to ask.

Mil's its free for all but I still expect my children to ask regardless of what cousins are doing.

As for dh he used to just think of himself and leave us without bread/milk etc but has come to realise check what is available rather than checking with me as such.

KxMx

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

He's always asked before as he has been raised to have good manners and the might need it comment was not so much about the apple, but to make him consider that something he takes might well have been bought for a reason. I also like the "if you see it you can eat it" thinking as we don't want to set a precedent where he thinks he will take it because we won't let him have it otherwise. After all he's a growing boy and yes I can remember sneaking 3 kitkats thinking mum wouldn't notice. Will just have to be careful when I've got a batch of muffins cooling.

Honestly, sounds to me like he is testing the boundaries which is a perfectly normal part of his development at that age

As far as I can remember of my childhood, fruit was left out in a bowl to encourage us to eat it, and we could take what we wanted when we wanted.

Things such as crisps, chocolate and other treats we had to ask.

We were also expected to help ourselves to squash, milk etc and let Mum know if we'd used the last of it or were low.

We had to make our own packed lunches from the age of 5 (under supervision), and our own drinks (expected to mop up and spills) so learnt all about managing the food supplies in a quite natural manner.

I have to say Mum raised us to be considerate without running a food dictatorship!

heartbreak_star

Domayne wrote: »

There are only 2 people I would do this with...but like I said we've been friends for years. The one who comes and make french toast - we've been friends since we were 7-8 (nearly 30 now) so I consider her more like family. She's also the kind that will just pick up your phone and start reading your texts and question you on everything..she doesn't have much of a barrier ^_^
If I asked my mum if I could prepare a meal she would probably look at me like I was crazy...I still live at home though so that might not count? Lol but my sister who doesn't comes back and still treats the place like she lives there, nobody really cares about stuff like that in my house. My dad only gets annoyed if you eat all of the purple sweets from the quality street because they are the only ones he likes

Argh! I am glad that you and your friend have such a great relationship but in my world she's overstepping the boundaries...you do not touch my phone, or any of my private stuff, without my permission!

If I'm at my mum's (haven't lived there for years) there's always a box of my favourite biscuits in the fridge that are mine, but if I want anything else I will ask - it simply isn't my house!

HBS x

bluenose1

Well in theory I dont mind my kids helping themselves, and the two eldest do. However the 11 year old had to have teeth out due to decay.
The dentist told me to only give him fruit straight after his meal to prevent future tooth decay. He therefore only has fruit with meals. If he wants a snack i give him ham or cheese.

Smi1er

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

Anyway a few days ago DS was eating an apple he'd taken from the fruit bowl after school, so I said I don't mind you having it, but I wish you'd ask first in case I was keeping it for something. The following night he did the same thing and again I said I didn't mind, but I'd prefer if you ask first. Then yesterday he says he had an apple at school, I thought he meant a leftover from the free fruit scheme, but he casually says that he took it in from home.

Are you for !!!!ing real?


Look at your last word. Home. It's a home, not a !!!!ing boarding school. He needs to feel relaxed.


What the !!!! were you keeping the apple for? In case you wanted it the day after tomorrow? I would certainly want my children to feel totally relaxed in their home.


In our home if you're hungry then help yourselves but remember breakfast/lunch/dinnertimes.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Smi1er wrote: »

Are you for !!!!ing real?


Look at your last word. Home. It's a home, not a !!!!ing boarding school. He needs to feel relaxed.


What the !!!! were you keeping the apple for? In case you wanted it the day after tomorrow? I would certainly want my children to feel totally relaxed in their home.


In our home if you're hungry then help yourselves but remember breakfast/lunch/dinnertimes.

It has to be a wind up. Who the hell punishes their kids when they dare to feed themselves when they get hungry?

gunsandbanjos

My daughters 10 and always asks before taking anything.

I'm another that can't stand seeing kids just helping themselves, not sure why, I just think it's poor manners I guess.

duchy

Maybe this isn't so much about the apple but accepting that as kids get older they need/want to start making choices for themselves ..........or maybe the lad is just having a growing spurt and was simply hungry !

3wisemonks

Smi1er wrote: »

Are you for !!!!ing real?


Look at your last word. Home. It's a home, not a !!!!ing boarding school. He needs to feel relaxed.


What the !!!! were you keeping the apple for? In case you wanted it the day after tomorrow? I would certainly want my children to feel totally relaxed in their home.


In our home if you're hungry then help yourselves but remember breakfast/lunch/dinnertimes.

Wow this is a bit OTT.

My children feel perfectly relaxed, I grew up asking first and I also felt perfectly comfortable, in fact I can't remember any friends doing it differently either. I find it a little bizarre that you would react to such a minor request with !!!!! I mean is it that difficult or traumatic to say 'please may I have an apple'?