Should a child ask for food or just take it?

stir_crazy

We were brought up to ask, I dont ever remember being denied food unless a meal was on the way anyway. I think it was more to do with teaching us good manners when we were young, and it just carried on from there.

neverdespairgirl

We have a fruit bowl on the side in the kitchen, and a basket with oat cakes and similar. That's a "help yourself as you like except just before a meal" option.

DigForVictory

I like the idea of "if you can see it, you can eat it without asking".
Just with two teenage sons & a third on their heels, I'd need to disguise my storage stash or I'd come home to a pile of empty tins & packets, with the fresh fruit left ignored...

Asking might let me keep tabs on what I think I know they've eaten & drunk (which since they'll barrel on & not stop to drink is a concern), but enforcing it?

Right now, they only drink Pepsi Max when permitted to as it's their Dad's preferred tipple & while he'll share on occasion for acts of conspicuous &/or heroic virtue, it's his. Quite how long we can keep that running I've no idea!

duchy

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

The apples along with other fruit were meant for packed lunches for the week and if I buy more it just goes off and I don't have time to pop to the shops whenever. Duchy you've also hit the nail on the head, it's about what he might do one day when he's a teenager... and Gillyx yes my OH does similar with stuff and it frustrates the hell out of me

He's ten ....... Deal with issues as they arise -for now he's not doing anything wrong..... Plenty of time to stress over teenage actions when they arrive
Maybe separate the fruit -packed lunch fruit goes somewhere different to "available" fruit ?
Of course he's copying what your OH does with food -and following his example .....maybe that's why it has struck a nerve that you don't want TWO of them driving you nuts doing it ?

Georgiegirl256

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

So basically as long as it's fruit or they're sensible it's a green light. Problem is usually if I buy fruit unless for packed lunches it gets left to go off, so perhaps I will just have to start restocking it more regularly.

Keep any fruit earmarked for the packed lunches in the fridge, all the rest put out in the fruit bowl.

redfragglebiker

We had to ask in general if we were hungry but it was well known that the fruit bowl was free to help yourself without permission. It was the only foodstuff in the house that was mind (that and dilute squahs - if we wanted fizzy we had to ask)
I think I'd be more bothered that he'd taken it again without asking when you specifically asked him to ask you if he wanted to take it.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

I don't think there is a wrong or right here TBH in this respect.


Its good manors to ask before you take, at the same time though its on display as an offering to help yourself.


your also confusing your child by telling him I don't mind you taking one just ask first. think like a child in this instruction you gave him:


"I don't mind you taking one"=I can TAKE one mummy is fine with it.
"just ask first"=WHY if you just said I can take one and you don't mind?!


I would put it like this, "please ASK! before you take" and explain that Its shows manors and respect and kindness.


though if you wish to retain an apple or fruit form the bowl for something you wish to cook then put the apple somewhere else so you know its safe and wont be taken.


I like my daughters to ask before they take, because it shows respect.

MidLifeCrisis_3

He's always asked before as he has been raised to have good manners and the might need it comment was not so much about the apple, but to make him consider that something he takes might well have been bought for a reason. I also like the "if you see it you can eat it" thinking as we don't want to set a precedent where he thinks he will take it because we won't let him have it otherwise. After all he's a growing boy and yes I can remember sneaking 3 kitkats thinking mum wouldn't notice. Will just have to be careful when I've got a batch of muffins cooling.

LiveLoveLaugh

As far as I can remember we had to ask in our house rather than just taking, not sure about dh but he agree's with me on the rule we have now so I think it must have been the same.

Our eldest two know they are to ask before they take any food, it is very rare we would say no, unless they were asking for rubbish just before dinner or something. I've never said no to them asking for fruit but I would still expect them to ask. Youngest does have a habit to help himself sometimes at the moment but we are teaching him he has to ask, however he is only young.

I don't think it's controlling, I personally think its about manners.

mummyroysof3

My children are younger so I guess it's easier to keep track of what and when they are eating anyway. I think if fruit bowl on side then it's problem ok to eat as they want but a quick ask of anything else especially if it's last of something is encouraged so the person in charge of meals and packed lunches has avilible what they need.