Should a child ask for food or just take it?

System

I liked them to check with me first. As they got older it was a matter of 'I'm having this cake Mum' rather than 'can I have?' If it was too close to meal times they would get 'no your not' but they always asked.

Sweets/crisps was largely kept for school lunches. I had 5 small baskets in which 5 bags of crisps were placed for lunches. I'd alternate them weekly for a sweet treat instead of crisps. They knew that if they ate them out of school then they just didn't have lunch for one day. it worked out pretty well until hubby started nicking them so he had a basket too.

Its not so rigid now but we all have our different 'treats' anyway. Once they are gone, they are gone.

SandC

I seem to remember that I could help myself to fruit - not that there was anything much exotic back in the 70s in our house.

Reading this thread I've remembered that one day I phoned my Dad's work and got him out of a meeting just to ask him if I could have a bar of chocolate. :eek: He wasn't too happy but I was following the rules.

When we got to teens (which would have been quite soon after the above incident, strangely) I think we had allocated x packets of crisps, x choc bars to last the week so we didn't have to ask but knew when they were gone, they were gone. My brother would easily have eaten all the crisps if we didn't have the rule as he was a crisp monster. :rotfl:

I can't remember whether we had free access to the bread bin or not.

tea_lover

We always asked, or at least checked (when we were older). I never saw it as being controlled or restricted in anyway, just good manners.

dzug1

Would you expect your OH to ask or 'only' a child?


I would expect children to learn by example, not by being told. If the adults in the family can help themselves then so can the kids. If the adults ask, then so should the kids.


And once they can write add it to the shopping list if it's running out.

mummyroysof3

I'm considering baskets for the kids when they are older to stop arguments but ATM what we have works

Domayne

I'm also curious if this is just children it refers too?
Would you consider it 'bad manners' if friends/other family came to your house and helped themselves to food?
My friend comes over and starts cooking herself french toast without even asking and then asks if I want some or tea/coffee lol

Prothet_of_Doom

thorsoak wrote: »

We worked on the principle that "if it's on view, it's freely available". If you had to open the cupboard/fridge to get it, then you asked first.

Yeah. That's what we've always done. We hide the fruit in the fridge, so that it's rationed as teenagers, are unable to search for food it seems.

Mojisola

fabforty wrote: »

Growing up, we always had to ask first. As we got older (teens), it was more a case of checking first - depending on what it was.

With five siblings, if we all just ate whatever we saw whenever we felt like it, the cupboards would have been permanently bare. Plus my brothers had a habit of snacking (making great big sandwiches of eating whole packets of biscuits) just before mealtimes and then not eating their dinner.

Or mum thinking that we had bread for sandwiches only to discover that someone had eaten it and forgotten to mention it.

For us, it's just the practical thing as fabforty says - it's hard to shop and meal-plan if everyone in the house helps themselves to anything they fancy.

We had certain things out that were freely available; other stuff I'd expect an "Is it alright to have this?" and, if I wasn't around to be asked, expect them to chose something else. If I'd got something specific for a special recipe or for visitors, a post-it note marked it out as not to be eaten.

heartbreak_star

Domayne wrote: »

I'm also curious if this is just children it refers too?
Would you consider it 'bad manners' if friends/other family came to your house and helped themselves to food?
My friend comes over and starts cooking herself french toast without even asking and then asks if I want some or tea/coffee lol

I'd find that incredibly bad manners and it would drive me mad!!

HBS x

Spirit_2

Our daughter helped herself to biscuits, fruit juice and squash without seeking permission I would have been delighted if she had eaten fruit unprompted.

She would self regulate so that she did not fill up at meal times. There was then a growing independence so that in the mornings she would get up and make herself a cereal/pain au chocolat breakfast as she was a very early riser (no desire to make shreddies at 5.30 am on my part) . By aged 11 she could and would make herself a sandwich lunch or tea and say "I am just going to...".

As a teen, I catered for her and her friends in that "such and such is in there for your lunch/snacks/ to cook.

We never had much in by way of crisps/snack foods etc and live miles from a shop - so they would make bread, bake cakes/biscuits/make home made pizza/bacon sandwiches/pasta.

Few conversations over the years about who ate all of the ???? but it was often my husband.