Should a child ask for food or just take it?

Indie_Kid

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I remember being shocked when I visited a school friend's house. His parents had gone so far as to fit padlocks on all the food cupboards in the kitchen.

Apparently, he and his brother couldn't be trusted.

This is ridiculous. Thankfully, we never had this. We were brought up having to ask for food. I still sometimes need to ask now to check that someone else doesn't want it or that there's enough left for lunch boxes, etc.

kerri_gt

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

Off to lick all the donuts now control freak that I am:rotfl:

That wouldn't stop me eating them :rotfl::rotfl:

beautiful_ravens

This is such a problem in my house.

As there are 3 kids and Im always on a budget, they have to ask for stuff -or rather, check its ok to have it- and the reason is mainly to do with money and packed lunches, and trying to stick to one weekly shop.

I used to have a 'free for all' fruit bowl, but when 3 kids have 2 apples a day each, its 42 apples a week = £12 which I am not buying on top of everything else.

lazer

beautiful_ravens wrote: »

This is such a problem in my house.

As there are 3 kids and Im always on a budget, they have to ask for stuff -or rather, check its ok to have it- and the reason is mainly to do with money and packed lunches, and trying to stick to one weekly shop.

I used to have a 'free for all' fruit bowl, but when 3 kids have 2 apples a day each, its 42 apples a week = £12 which I am not buying on top of everything else.

Where are you buying your apples. I get the multibags in Tesco's (or I happen to be off work during the week, the fruit shop) and its £1 to £1.50 for 7 or 8 apples, so 42 apples could be as little as £5.25.

lazer

whodathunkit wrote: »

That's not an old habit, that's manners.

Where your parents live is no longer your home so obviously you wouldn't just go and help yourself to something without asking, any more than you'd expect them to do if they came round to visit you in your home.

My parents have brought me up to always see their house as home, and I have moved out years ago, but i still have my own key, visit regularly, make a cup of tea, sometimes stay the night - I don't need to ask permisson for anything.
If I call in and there is no-one there, I will help myself to a cup of tea, maybe something to eat, watch tv etc, and hopefully they will come home before I have to go again.

Equally, my mum and dad, are free to treat my house as home, they can help themselves to whatever they can find in the cupboards (within reason, the same as i do in their house - don't tkae anything that looks like its fro using in dinner etc).

If I ever have children, I hope they will always see my house as home too, and be very comfortable coming round whenever and treating the place like home.

Families should be able to treat each other's houses as home.

My in-laws are staying for a few days, and i hope they treat the place like home when I'm at work too.

quidsy

Thats how it is for me & my family & my OH family even more so, in fact in his culture families live together well into adulthood, often with several generations under one roof or kids being so called boomerangs, coming back "home" depending on employment & need 7 no one resents or comments.

I've been with oh for 15 years, when we go to his country for holiday it isn't even a case of making ourselves at home, we are home, have clothes, our own bedroom & mil even keeps my stash of tetly teabags safe during our absence.

Tiggy10

I was brought up to always ask for food, even up until i left home last year aged 23, if i didnt pay for it i felt it was impolite not to ask. Although i think my mum wouldnt have minded too much if it was fruit. It was more important to ask for other things from cupboards and fridges, or if it was the last one so she knew to get more.

System

lazer wrote: »

My parents have brought me up to always see their house as home, and I have moved out years ago, but i still have my own key, visit regularly, make a cup of tea, sometimes stay the night - I don't need to ask permisson for anything.
If I call in and there is no-one there, I will help myself to a cup of tea, maybe something to eat, watch tv etc, and hopefully they will come home before I have to go again.

Equally, my mum and dad, are free to treat my house as home, they can help themselves to whatever they can find in the cupboards (within reason, the same as i do in their house - don't tkae anything that looks like its fro using in dinner etc).

If I ever have children, I hope they will always see my house as home too, and be very comfortable coming round whenever and treating the place like home.

Families should be able to treat each other's houses as home.

My in-laws are staying for a few days, and i hope they treat the place like home when I'm at work too.

I see your point, I think my family are just different though.

I can't just pop home and visit always has to be planned in advance and even then it doesn't always happen. I think the turning point was when my sister got my room, so I don't have my own space there anymore (which I understand-no point in sisters sharing when there is a spare room). I only go home once a year so very much feel like a visitor. I accepted a few years ago my parents house is no longer my home, but then I've been living away for nearly 10 years now.

borkid

Horace wrote: »

I used to ask my parents if I could have some fruit from the fruitbowl until mum told me that the fruit was there to be eaten and that I should help myself if I wanted to eat as it was better to eat fruit than chocolate. I would help myself to drinks too and if I put the kettle on to make a cup of tea then I had to make tea for everybody else.

If I wanted a cake or a biscuit then I would have to ask. Now I have grown up, I still ask when I am visiting my parents.

That's just like my daughter now (35). Usually it's ... is that going spare.... Even in their teens both mine always asked usually shouting across the house... is it OK if I have.....

It all depends on your lifestyle and where you live. If it's a 10 min drive to the nearest shop or you work full time then it does become a problem if you run out of something you need. Waldorf salad is not the same without an apple

Flora_Poste

It is only good manners to ask before helping yourself to snacks and whatever in your own home and certainly in anybody elses.Like others have said, the fruit bowl is always available here but biscuits and crisps are not unlimited and it's not fair if one child munches their way through the weeks worth. We have a food budget and a meal plan for the week and part of that is for the lunches. You cant eat the last of the bread/ham/hummus/cheese without asking because it might be needed. If its not needed then you are welcome to it and I'm glad it isn't wasted.

OP you do well to think about the guidelines now with a 10 yr old because it gets seriously hard to fill them up for the next few years. I make extras of many meals(bigger pasta bakes, extra chili and rice) and make it clear that the leftovers are portioned up in the fridge as snacks to avoid them eating biscuits and crisps if they are hungry.
Nicer than processed junk and will fill the hole better.

We never have much spare snacky food but I think that's why my kids eat well. I only really feed them at meal times and so they come to the table STARVING and are a lot less fussy about vegetables and funny looking food. DS best friend eats out of his own cupboard at home, mostly custard creams and won't go near a vegetable or a piece of fruit. Having said that, he's 6ft and looks well on it but I worry about him when he gets older. Each to their own I suppose.