Should a child ask for food or just take it?

moomoomama27

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Because most people can automatically restrict themselves with food, and know not to stuff their faces. They know when to stop with the snacking....I don't think many people at all would 'demolish snacks all in one go' :eek: Some might I guess, but very few and far between because most people know not to make a glutton of themselves. If they were that way inclined, then I'm sure they'd sneak in for a snack anyhow.

I never had to ask when growing up in my own house or my grandparents, and I was skinny as a rake, a combination of genetics and plenty of exercise.

Does your asking permission extend to the adults in your family too?

As valk_scot mentions, if you're not sure if something is available to eat then it's only polite to check....but to ask for permission?

My husband and I don't really snack on anything but fruit, but we would always check if it was ok if we fancied something else! Same rules for all. In our family though we eat to live not live to eat!! We are so active/busy there's not a lot of time to consider snacking between meals!!

quidsy

In our family though we eat to live not live to eat!!

Everyone eats to live. Just some people are less obsessed about what & when you can eat.

Gloomendoom

I was always expected to ask first and, if I had children, I would expect them to.

I also tend to check with my wife before making a snack. Just to make sure that she hasn't already got plans for the food or, more usually, a proper meal is imminent so a snack is unnecessary and could ruin my appetite.

Pretty much the same reasons I used to ask when I was a child really.

Georgiegirl256

moomoomama27 wrote: »

My husband and I don't really snack on anything but fruit, but we would always check if it was ok if we fancied something else! Same rules for all. In our family though we eat to live not live to eat!! We are so active/busy there's not a lot of time to consider snacking between meals!!

Tbh, we don't really snack between meals either, more so at night if we do. We're more of the 'eat to live not live to eat' camp too. We both know what food is in, and what food can and can't be touched, ie if something's for lunch the next day or is being saved for some reason....I find it amazing that adults don't know what they can and can't eat in their own house and have to check before taking something. If I've bought something that I don't want eaten, I say there and then to leave it or put it to one side.

I guess different families work in different ways, and in over ten years, we've never eaten anything that was intended for someone else yet!

Mojisola

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I was always expected to ask first and, if I had children, I would expect them to.

I also tend to check with my wife before making a snack. Just to make sure that she hasn't already got plans for the food or, more usually, a proper meal is imminent so a snack is unnecessary and could ruin my appetite.

Pretty much the same reasons I used to ask when I was a child really.

There's a big difference between "Am I allowed to eat something extra?" and "Is this food needed for something particular?"

If family members are meant to ask the first question, someone else is controlling what and when they eat; the second question is just a planning and logistics issue - I've made the decision I am going to eat something but don't want to mess up the meal planning/shopping someone else has done.

whodathunkit

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

When I was a kid we asked before we took stuff. Not cos my mum had stuff for pack ups and the like (they were in a separate cupboard we couldn't reach) but just as a general courtesy. Fruit was always freely avalible though but if we wanted other snacks we had to ask. Not sure how long it lasted, probably until my teens.

That said I'm 27 now and if I ever go home I still find myself asking I think old habits are hard to break!

That's not an old habit, that's manners.

Where your parents live is no longer your home so obviously you wouldn't just go and help yourself to something without asking, any more than you'd expect them to do if they came round to visit you in your home.

krustylouise

Not sure if this has been mentioned, I have a 6year old DD and the only reason I like her to ask isn't because I may want it for something else but she tends to snack just before dinner and then leaves her meal! So I have to cap her eating around 4pm, but other than that she can have what she likes {within reason}

stebiz

An 18 year old, 15 year old and 8 year old. All can help themselves to whatever they like in the fruit bowl or snack cupboard without asking. If it gets empty it's refilled.

If any of them are seen to be eating too many snacks though they're reminded about health issues in a nice way. All 3 of them are a healthy weight and happy with it. In fact they could teach their Dad a few things.

If I go to my parents I won't think twice having something to eat out of the cupboards and hope they feel the same at mine.

wapow

Some major control freaks popping up in this thread. I would love to keep a track of your kids changes in behaviour as they age and also your relationships as a study!

km1423

Firstly, great your child is eating fruit.

In my household if something is especially for me or OH, I tell my child that, and she stays clear. Otherwise help yourself.

My child eats fruit like its going out of fashion, and I just replenish as needed. She is very good and steers clear of "special" items, unless I say otherwise.

Sorry, but apples/fruit in a fruit bowl are not for decoration, and are there to be eaten. Apples are not exotic fruit, and therefore not expensive.

You would soon be moaning when you have to throw them away, as they are not being eaten.

I would perhaps suggest that unless you say this is apple/product is for a dish/meal I wish to make - just help yourself. Just be clear.