Should a child ask for food or just take it?

clarryd

In my opinion:

if they are hungry they can eat anything that is food, in food I mean, no biscuits, cakes, crisps etc (junk food), but they must ask for the junk food so I can keep an eye on how much and what junk they are eating.

Fruit is a any time, any where food, but only 1 banana a day incase it bungs them up.

I have my nieces 2 children most weeks and they always help themselves to an orange, satsuma or a banana but know to ask for the crisps, etc.

That's the rules, and they know it. Boy is 7 years old and girl is 2 1/2 years have made this clear since they have been able to speak. And I did the same with my daughter now 25 and my niece now 26.

Mojisola

clarryd wrote: »

Fruit is a any time, any where food, but only 1 banana a day incase it bungs them up.

Why do you think bananas cause constipation?

cattie

As a child my siblings & I were well fed & well looked after & were brought up to help ourselves to food from the kitchen if we were hungry, so we might for instance run in from playing outside to have some bread & jam or perhaps fruit or something similar before dashing out again.

My own child was brought up to help himself within reason if he was hungry but not to take the last apple or yogurt, because I as a fussy eater would probably be looking to eat them later & they were a major part of my daily diet.

I believe a child who will eat things such as bread or fruit as opposed to sweets, buscuits etc in between meals is truly feeling peckish & in this day & age, there is no reason for a child to go hungry.

Adults can just go & help themselves whenever they feel peckish, so why shouldn't a child be able to do the same, providing they are not stuffing themselves with sweets or junk food items?

GobbledyGook

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes, that's exactly what you are! :rotfl:

I'm just glad I know now :rotfl:


I find all the different ways of doing things and the trains of thought so interesting (well, before it gets to being rude and overly judgemental).

People always comment on how my children have "free reign" over their sweets in their treat box as if it's this terrible thing because they could go an eat a weeks worth of treats in one go. But they don't and I strongly believe that the fact they have access to it is part of the reason it's not a big deal and they don't crave it.

I also don't understand people who don't ever allow snacking between meals - surely we all have some days where we are hungrier than others?

System

whodathunkit wrote: »

That's not an old habit, that's manners.

Where your parents live is no longer your home so obviously you wouldn't just go and help yourself to something without asking, any more than you'd expect them to do if they came round to visit you in your home.

That's a good point

I certainly would t help myself in any else's house

giantmutantbroccoli

What sort of bizarre class war trolling is going on in this thread? Rich chavs on benefits with their own apple orchards? :rotfl:

Eating an apple on your own, without asking permission, is not being selfish for a child. Unless they've been told (and reminded!) that the apples in that bowl there are not for eating because they're for a pie/lunch/someone else's snack etc.
Telling your kids to ask you before they eat the fruit is not the sign of a control-freak. There's plenty of good reasons - not having enough money for an infinitely restocking fruit bowl, for example, or having a kid who's daft enough to eat an entire punnet of oranges at once and make himself sick.
Allowing your kids to eat fruit, bread etc without permission is not some horrible "chavvy" (I hate that word) thing done by parents who don't care about their kids or don't have social mealtimes.

Why the idea that different people have different house rules should be so shocking and awful to some of the people on this thread I have no idea!

When I was a kid, fruit in the fruit bowl was there to be eaten without asking, but there would be trouble if I ate so much fruit just before dinner that I wasn't hungry. The rule of thumb was that if dinner was less than 45 mins away, I shouldn't be eating anything, fruit or no. I was also taught that it was rude to eat without offering what I was eating to anybody else (i.e. if I got an apple, I'd ask if anyone else wanted one) and rude to prepare say a sandwich without asking if anyone else wanted one. That rule usually meant that, although I didn't have to ask for permission, my parents would usually know what I was eating anyway. Sweets, biscuits and snacks required permission if they came in a packet, but not if they were homemade and out on a plate, because food was only put out with the expectation that it would be eaten.

I'll be back tomorrow to express my outrage and utter contempt for everyone here who doesn't live the same way!

MidLifeCrisis_3

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I'm just glad I know now :rotfl:


I find all the different ways of doing things and the trains of thought so interesting (well, before it gets to being rude and overly judgemental).

People always comment on how my children have "free reign" over their sweets in their treat box as if it's this terrible thing because they could go an eat a weeks worth of treats in one go. But they don't and I strongly believe that the fact they have access to it is part of the reason it's not a big deal and they don't crave it.

I also don't understand people who don't ever allow snacking between meals - surely we all have some days where we are hungrier than others?

GobbledyGook thank you for pointing out that this thread was intended to discover the different ways people go about parenting so we can draw and learn from what works for others.

Unfortunately some seem to have completely got the wrong end of the stick and made irrational judgements.

Our kids were brought up to say please and thank you since they were small and apparently that makes me a control freak? As I said before we have never made them ask, they have just always done so without even thinking about it before. They snack as they request, but things change and kids test boundaries. In the example occasions with the apples I said all along it was no big deal, he's not going to be a child forever and we don't wish to raise our kids in the strict way I was brought up which is why I asked how other people did things in their homes.

As for OH, when he scoffs the oreos it's more about selective hearing :rotfl:

Thank you to all those who did answer in good faith :A

GobbledyGook

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

GobbledyGook thank you for pointing out that this thread was intended to discover the different ways people go about parenting so we can draw and learn from what works for others.

Unfortunately some seem to have completely got the wrong end of the stick and made irrational judgements.

Our kids were brought up to say please and thank you since they were small and apparently that makes me a control freak? As I said before we have never made them ask, they have just always done so without even thinking about it before. They snack as they request, but things change and kids test boundaries. In the example occasions with the apples I said all along it was no big deal, he's not going to be a child forever and we don't wish to raise our kids in the strict way I was brought up which is why I asked how other people did things in their homes.

As for OH, when he scoffs the oreos it's more about selective hearing :rotfl:

Thank you to all those who did answer in good faith :A

At least you now know you are a control freak and I know that my kids are destined to be terrors

I think it's a classic example of how parenting is so difficult - I let my children have free reign of food and I'm a bad parent - you make your child ask and you are a bad parent! How does that work?! How can we both be doing it "wrong" What is the mysterious correct third way?

It's good to see different ways. I know a couple of people on here took up the way I do the treat boxes after I talked about it, just like I took up a reward chart type strategy for my youngest after I read it here. It's just a shame when some people can't share their opinions without being rude.

CH27

GobbledyGook wrote: »

At least you now know you are a control freak and I know that my kids are destined to be terrors

I think it's a classic example of how parenting is so difficult - I let my children have free reign of food and I'm a bad parent - you make your child ask and you are a bad parent! How does that work?! How can we both be doing it "wrong" What is the mysterious correct third way?

It's good to see different ways. I know a couple of people on here took up the way I do the treat boxes after I talked about it, just like I took up a reward chart type strategy for my youngest after I read it here. It's just a shame when some people can't share their opinions without being rude.

Surely you know by now that a parent's place is always in the wrong :rotfl:

quidsy

my main objection to alot of replies is the suggestion that asking for food is some how good manners & so by defualt implies that not having to ask my child is somehow lacking in said manners & will turn out wrong.

A child asking for food doesn't mean they will not display poor manners in something else.

Each household has to do what suits them.