Should a child ask for food or just take it?

brenda10

wapow wrote: »

Some major control freaks popping up in this thread. I would love to keep a track of your kids changes in behaviour as they age and also your relationships as a study!

Well said Wapow


Plenty of freaks around, tg we don't live under their roof, I have met these types before.

heartbreak_star

Wow...calling people freaks because they like manners to be observed in their houses. That's a bit of a new low.

I think the main answer to all of it is get the family together and explain how things work - as I said earlier, I used to ask for "treats" and just let Mum know if I was taking fruit as a courtesy in case it was for packed lunches or anything.

HBS x

Nada666

km1423 wrote: »

Sorry, but apples/fruit in a fruit bowl are not for decoration, and are there to be eaten. Apples are not exotic fruit, and therefore not expensive.

You have a tree in your garden? What are you talking about? The idea that apples are not expensive if you have to buy them is a preposterous and insane thing to suggest.

You may be rich enough to live in a house with a vegetable garden and orchard. Most of us do not.

quidsy

Nada666 wrote: »

A lot chav parents on benefits who have more money than they know what to do with on this thread. Many people are not as rich as you underclass scroungers - children and partners and self cannot just help themselves willy-nilly to food. Bowls do not magically refill themselves.

The most important point of the OP's situation is is that a child has been told not to do something on more than one occasion. The child has disobeyed. This is not acceptable behaviour.

Brenda10 may not wish to be the child of some of us - we sure as blazes pray we never end up with their children (or, worse, their grown-up children) as neighbours of ours.

You lost whatever argument you might have had in the first paragraph. tragic

Georgiegirl256

I was brought up to have manners and to respect my elders, and knew the boundaries that were in place, but I never had to ask for permission, but that's just the way our household worked....other people obviously work it different....and while IMO I find it strange that people do have to ask, that's obviously right for them.

Even now when I go to my Mam & Dad's house, if I want a snack I can just help myself, but if I'm unsure about something maybe being kept for say a sandwich etc later on, then I'll ask.

Happygreen

Of course you are all entitled to your opinions but do you live in the middle of nowhere AND on a tight budget? It's not just about manners but about respecting that one doesn't live alone in a household, food has to be bought by someone and cooked by someone. My teens are cool with it :rotfl:and taking others into account if you are hungry is a skill learned for life. I don't think benefits have much to do with it but maybe if you have a family where everybody just cares for themselves and helps themselves rather than where eating is a family "activity"? It's not like mine are starved because I might deny them some biscuits ( I might need for a cheesecake) - they'd prefer the cake, so there :rotfl::rotfl:. It's about communication, wha:)t's wrong with that?

km1423

Nada666 wrote: »

You have a tree in your garden? What are you talking about? The idea that apples are not expensive if you have to buy them is a preposterous and insane thing to suggest.

You may be rich enough to live in a house with a vegetable garden and orchard. Most of us do not.

No to the orchard/vegetable garden. I should have perhaps said apples are a relatively inexpensive item, even when purchased - my bad.


Maybe OP could perhaps leave an apple out for their child giving clear indication this it is theirs to take, and this could avoid them helping themselves.

GobbledyGook

So the outcome is the fact that I have a fruit bowl that the children can take from means I'm a chav on benefits will ill mannered children with no respect, who'll be nightmare neighbours when they are older?

Good to know. I was under the mistaken impression I was just organised enough to store any fruit for baking or lunches in a different place and that the fact my children were well mannered in every other area meant they'd be alright. Thanks for the illumination!

Georgiegirl256

Happygreen wrote: »

Of course you are all entitled to your opinions but do you live in the middle of nowhere AND on a tight budget? It's not just about manners but about respecting that one doesn't live alone in a household, food has to be bought by someone and cooked by someone. My teens are cool with it :rotfl:and taking others into account if you are hungry is a skill learned for life. I don't think benefits have much to do with it but maybe if you have a family where everybody just cares for themselves and helps themselves rather than where eating is a family "activity"? It's not like mine are starved because I might deny them some biscuits ( I might need for a cheesecake) - they'd prefer the cake, so there :rotfl::rotfl:. It's about communication, wha:)t's wrong with that?

No ones talking about a family not eating together. We had set meal times, breakfast, dinner, tea and supper, and we ALWAYS sat around a table, so it was an 'activity' as it were, and we communicated well....that's got nothing to do with asking/not asking permission, having/not having manners etc.

Growing up, although my Dad brought in a decent wage, we weren't one of the most well off families, not by any means, but my Mam is really good at budgeting, and so we ate well and managed adequately.

Even though I personally (and my friends growing up) didn't have to 'ask permission', neither did we stuff ourselves silly either, it's called portion control! Most children do actually know how to limit themselves, or not to eat before meal times....common sense don't you think?

Georgiegirl256

GobbledyGook wrote: »

So the outcome is the fact that I have a fruit bowl that the children can take from means I'm a chav on benefits will ill mannered children with no respect, who'll be nightmare neighbours when they are older?

Good to know. I was under the mistaken impression I was just organised enough to store any fruit for baking or lunches in a different place and that the fact my children were well mannered in every other area meant they'd be alright. Thanks for the illumination!

Yes, that's exactly what you are! :rotfl: