Practical suggestions for getting over an inappropriate crush?

Copperplate

Didn't really intend on updating this thread but also didn't want to leave people guessing. We had our final assessment of the term at uni on Tuesday so we have now finished for term. If anything, despite trying to keep the distance between us, my feelings had just got stronger for him and he was carrying on with the long looks and trying to hug me, never leaving my side etc. On Monday he casually mentioned that his girlfriend has decided to come over in the next couple of days, a last minute thing. He started acting so excited and kept mentioning it to me. It sounds over dramatic I know but I felt like something had been ripped out of me.

On Tuesday, all I can say is I feel we were both trying to make each other jealous. Inside I've been feeling devastated but trying to act ok. I'd confided in my female friend on the course and she said she feels he oversteps the mark with me for someone who has a girlfriend and she can see how its happened that I've developed feelings for him. She also said she doesn't see his LDR as a proper relationship and she knows I wouldn't go after a man who is taken but in her opinion all is fair in love and war. So not the best advice lol! So to get back to the making each other jealous thing, he made a comment about his girlfriend in front of me in a way which looked like he was trying to make me jealous, and this female friend said, "Oh Copperplate, "Tom" has text saying are we all going to get together in the holidays. He is so excited to meet you, he can't wait." , instantly he wanted to know who Tom was, his face was tripping him etc. He was clearly annoyed. The rest of the day we just spent sort of snapping at each other in a way that we never have, it was really uncharacteristic for both of us. I just thought, "What a mess this all is."

When we parted company at the end of the day, he said, "Well, I'm off then." and I just said, "Ok well, have a good holiday. Try and relax and enjoy yourself." and then he just stood in the doorway staring at me for ages. I thought I was going to burst out crying so I literally just turned away, I couldn't look at him. My friend said when I turned away, he looked at me like he was going to say something, then he looked angry and left.

I've been really miserable the last two days as obviously I know that once his girlfriend is here that's it and that combined with the fact that I miss him so much already is just really hard. So no fairytale ending here.

tayforth

Wait and see. I wouldn't be surprised if they've broken up by the time you see him again.

In the meantime, enjoy your time off and do some things that YOU enjoy. That will help to keep your mind off him. Sounds cliched, but it's true.

I'm glad that you've confided in your friend xxx

tayforth

And please do update us, we would love to know what happens (and not just because we're nosey but because you seem like a decent person and we hope for the best for you!) xxx

Copperplate

tayforth wrote: »

Wait and see. I wouldn't be surprised if they've broken up by the time you see him again.

In the meantime, enjoy your time off and do some things that YOU enjoy. That will help to keep your mind off him. Sounds cliched, but it's true.

I'm glad that you've confided in your friend xxx

Or he could realise that his girlfriend is the one he wants and not me. Either way, he's got nothing to lose.

Lol, right now I am lying in the sunshine by the pool thousands of miles away in the nicest hotel I've stayed in in my life. I should be having the time of my life but all I wish is that he was here with me. How pathetic is that?! Right Tayforth, I promise I will try to enjoy myself and I will keep people updated but we are off uni for over a month so I won't see him for ages. Thanks for the support x

justme111

One day you may look with disgust at his behaviour in encouraging your crush while being excited about gf.

Copperplate

justme111 wrote: »

One day you may look with disgust at his behaviour in encouraging your crush while being excited about gf.

Yeah tbh I hope he feels as !!!! right now about it as I do :cool:

wapow

I read the title and have some advice -
Crank it out.


You will one day be disgusted by your actions that have taken place.
If he's messing you about, keep your distance?
He enjoys the attention you give him it is as simple as that. He wants to "own" you but not in the trafficking kind of way lol. He feels threatened by other men in your life.


I swear if you were to have another hot male friend or hire an actor to come chat you up and flirt with you and look deep in your eyes, not only would you have fallen for the actor but this so called friend of yours would be absolutely fuming.


Why haven't you realised its a form of control?

Copperplate

That word began with an s and ended with a t!

wapow

Stop giving the dude bad vibes. He isn't the only one to blame. A coin has two sides.

System

I'm now of the opinion that if its going to happen, its going to happen no matter how many obstacles you put in the way.