Boyfriend advice - am I going crazy?

currylover2013

Well done and I hope things go well for you :j:j:j xx

Seanymph

He sounds like my ex - you did well to save yourself the six years I spent learning what you seem to have cracked after two.

Well done you.

And they would never say that at anger management.

He will latch onto someone else fairly quickly I don't doubt - I almost felt that I wanted to warn his next g/f, but I knew he'd have given her so much rubbish she wouldn't listen - just like I didn't listen to his wife!

You are well rid. It's a learnt behaviour and is designed to manipulate, and it works for them - if you stop dancing to the drums he'll just move onto someone more gullible who will.

What an excellent mum to set a better example for their daughter!

carefullycautious

Now you are away from that person ( can't call him a man :mad:) don't ever ever allow someone to put you down or score you ( I have never heard of someone scoring someone marks out of 10 before)

Domestic violence waiting to happen. You are well rid.

Out there, there is someone who will love you unconditionally and take you on a journey through life where you will learn from each other. It may not be perfect, but you will feel safe and secure.

Well done for taking your own and your daughters well being into consideration. All good things come to those who wait.

Wishing you all the best for the future

Ohtobehappy

Getmore4less. He married each time within a year and was divorced by the second year. Alarm bells should have rung!

It's funny after only a few days away I can see how I've been manipulated over the last few years.

Thanks to all for making me see sense and for the encouragement and support

Xxx

marisco_2

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

He always said he could do better than me. So I hope he's trying. Lol. Apparently in the looks department he was out of my league and I was only a 3 compared to his 8 lol

To me the above statement speaks volumes about just how insecure this guy really was about himself. A person must have very little in the way of confidence or self esteem, when they feel the need to try to compare themselves favourably to a supposed inferior. He knew just how little he had to offer a partner. Rather than face up to that and put in the effort to improve, he chose to run down and undermine you in order to feel good about himself. As others have said you are well shot of such a sad sap.

Smi1er

Married 3 times already in his 30's? **alarm bells**


You say you have a teenage daughter. OK. Let's turn the tables. Let's say your daughter is in a similar relationship.... what would your advise to her be?

quietheart

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

Getmore4less. He married each time within a year and was divorced by the second year. Alarm bells should have rung!

It's funny after only a few days away I can see how I've been manipulated over the last few years.

Thanks to all for making me see sense and for the encouragement and support

Xxx

So impressed that you've got out of your relationship.
He has obviously being emotionally abusing you as a way of controlling you. But he didn't succeed and you are now free of him. Makes me very happy to read. I work with victims of domestic abuse and it's never easy to end such a relationship.
Things may feel tough now but you are worth so much more.
:j

tayforth

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

Hi tayforth.

I never gave him keys so that's not a problem :-) and thankfully all quiet today. Not a peep.

He always said he could do better than me. So I hope he's trying. Lol. Apparently in the looks department he was out of my league and I was only a 3 compared to his 8 lol .

Feeling much stronger today and almost like a part of me has resurfaced.

Thanks xxx

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

Getmore4less. He married each time within a year and was divorced by the second year. Alarm bells should have rung!

It's funny after only a few days away I can see how I've been manipulated over the last few years.

Thanks to all for making me see sense and for the encouragement and support

Xxx

I'm so glad that you're feeling better already. You are well rid of him. Giving you marks out of 10 is despicable, and putting you down like that is classic bully behaviour. I don't know how physically attractive he is, but on the inside he is ugly.

A friend of mine says that she feels so lucky that her husband loves her, and he says exactly the same thing about her. Now that's more like it.

Slinky

themull1 wrote: »

Whilst i have sympathy for the op, ive been married three times, and sometimes its not suspicious, and my third husband(he has been married twice before) and i are still very much in the honeymoon period after 2.5 years!! Not all people who have been married more than once are evil.!! Sometimes its just bad choices/mistakes/scared you'll be left on the shelf at 21!! To the op, good luck, you will have a better life now.xxx

Yes but the difference is you feel you've got it right at the third time. This bloke has had 3 failed marriages and was in a relationship with the OP that still wasn't right, how many more are there to come for him.

A friend of mine is married for the 3rd time, her husband is on his 2nd marriage, they seem very happy and have been together for several years.

Another friend has been married twice and is her husband's 3rd wife, again, they've been together 20 years now.

Pinzy

Bit late into this, but did want to say - don't worry that alarm bells "should've" rung. With this sort of person, initially it's wonderful. They're amazing and funny and make you feel fabulous, so you just overlook tiny little things, and don't even notice when they start making little comments. The belitting at first is in a jokey manner, and you laugh along with. It's a very gradual process, and it only would've gotten worse.

You've done very well to get out of it. He may come crawling around again, just wanting to be friends, but you'll realise that he's still the same, and not worth having him in your life.

When you're in a new relationship, you'll probably at some point be doing something that you would've done with the ex, and you'll automatically be tense and thinking ahead about what you need to do to keep everything calm, then you'll realise you're in safe company, you don't need to be tense and worry. That feeling, is golden, and reinforces that you made the right decision.