Boyfriend advice - am I going crazy?

Rottensocks

[QUOTE=Ohtobehappy;65021850 He has had anger management classes with first wife, but he says he was told it was her fault as she wound him up.

[/QUOTE]

Hmmm yeah right! I suspect he's put a slight spin on that statement... and anyway it's not logical. Here we are, X years down the line, and you don't try o wind him up but hey presto he still has the anger issues...

And yes, he could change, but that's only if he actually wants to. And to be honest, there's nothing like being dumped to sit and make you think "Now where did I go wrong?"

If you already know that the way he speaks to you wouldn't be good enough for your daughter, why is it good enough for you?

Ohtobehappy

Thanks again for replies. It's made me think. He says that all relationships are like this and he's not selfish nor angry, it's just that I can do 'his head in' sometimes.

Tbh if you ask any of my friends they would say I'm pretty easy going, hate confrontation and an generally happy go lucky .

19lottie82

Hi OP, you deserve someone that will treat you a LOT better than this.

I think someone else has said this, but if your daughter were older and it was her in this relationship, what would you advise her to do? There's your answer.

andrewf75

Sounds like you should get rid.

DUTR

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

Thanks again for replies. It's made me think. He says that all relationships are like this and he's not selfish nor angry, it's just that I can do 'his head in' sometimes.

Tbh if you ask any of my friends they would say I'm pretty easy going, hate confrontation and an generally happy go lucky .

I can understand from your BF's perspective (doesn't make it right though) however nobody should have to ask any of your friends , the observer should learn about you for themselves.

andrewf75 wrote: »

Sounds like you should get rid.

I don't feel the OP has the confidence and courage to do just that.

dandelionclock30

If you dont live with him is less of a headache telling him.I'd just send him a text and then change your sim etc and on a night dont answer the door etc. He'll soon get the message.Any problems the police are there to help.
OP you have to be strong and get rid of him now before he starts to hit you as this is what domestic violence starts out like.
Hes controlling and is manipulating you.
He might be unhappy and have depression or mental health issues but thats for him to sort out. You have to put yourself and your childs saftey first, not him.

Rottensocks

Every partner "does your head in" sometimes.... That's completely true.

But not every partner belittles you, or feels superior because their job is "better" (read: earns more) than yours.

Cottage_Economy

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

Thanks again for replies. It's made me think. He says that all relationships are like this and he's not selfish nor angry, it's just that I can do 'his head in' sometimes.

Utter rubbish. Just him making excuses for his behaviour, trying to make you think it's normal. Occasionally my other half can do my head in, but I also know that is usually down to me being tired or stressed at the time and not having the patience to respond appropriately. My fault, not his. But we never belittle each other or act superior.

He's been married three times and each time its been the fault of his exes? Shows a stunning lack of regard and responsibility for the part he had to play in each relationship. Always someone else's fault, never his.

cloudy-day

Ohtobehappy wrote: »

My daughter is my priority. I don't want her seeing me treated badly

Not just your daughter, YOU deserve happiness and to be treated well.

Remember that.

silverwhistle

I must admit that the word 'belittle' also acted as a massive warning beacon to me, let alone all the other stuff.

No, it's not normal, and as an observer of other people's relationships I've seen all the signs before. Another vote here for getting out, quickly.