What can I do .... Dog differences

Person_one

So I ask again, what kind of responses are you wanting?

*max*

Nope. You're not getting it.

Imagine if your young son was staying at a friend's house. The friend then comes to you and say "I thought his coat looked very worn, it can't be comfortable or warm enough. I was thinking of buying him a new one."

Would you take kindly to that? Wouldn't you be offended or made to feel small? Wouldn't you think they were in essence telling you you can't take care of your child properly, hadn't noticed the coat was shabby and/or can't afford to buy your own child a coat and/or do not care?

It's all about putting yourself in their shoes, trying to see it from their perspective, which you can't seem to be willing to do!

*max*

And nobody thinks you didn't have the best intentions! But sometimes the road to hell is paved with good intentions, as the saying goes.

victory

*max* wrote: »

Nope. You're not getting it.

Imagine if your young son was staying at a friend's house. The friend then comes to you and say "I thought his coat looked very worn, it can't be comfortable or warm enough. I was thinking of buying him a new one."

Would you take kindly to that? Wouldn't you be offended or made to feel small? Wouldn't you think they were in essence telling you you can't take care of your child properly, hadn't noticed the coat was shabby and/or can't afford to buy your own child a coat and/or do not care?

It's all about putting yourself in their shoes, trying to see it from their perspective, which you can't seem to be willing to do!

Their shoes of course... Mention foam and dog bed and owner goes Incadesent with rage, really???

Facts are if the coat looked worn, it looked worn, dog bed foam foamed off....

Never made anyone feel small? Why would I? In essence telling me... No all that is summizing, not real.


So not mention foam, poor dog trying to settle, being so uncomfortable because it's not my dog , what kind of person does that make me? A heartless, selfish, uncaring one for sure.

victory

*max* wrote: »

And nobody thinks you didn't have the best intentions! But sometimes the road to hell is paved with good intentions, as the saying goes.

I certainly did have the very best intentions... For the dog, my Oh wanted to not see her struggle and go and buy one immediately, it was me that said no, it's their dog bed, we must ask etc and that we had no right to go over their heads as previously explained, thread or no thread it's upsetting to know dog still remains uncomfortable

Georgiegirl256

Basically comes down to this, the fact that you no doubt caused offence by offering to pay for a new bed.

Also, it all depends on how you worded it to them about the bed too. If you said something like 'do you know the foam in the dogs bed is falling to bits?', then that IMO is ok, nothing wrong with that. But if you came out with something like 'that poor dogs bed is falling to bits, the poor thing couldn't get comfortable, I'll buy him a new one' then of course she's going to be offended. It'll have made her feel upset, ashamed maybe, like she isn't doing her best by the dog, like she hasn't got the money to spend perhaps, and that you're looking down on her in her failure to be a good dog owner.

Can't you see that?

victory

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Basically comes down to this, the fact that you no doubt caused offence by offering to pay for a new bed.

Also, it all depends on how you worded it to them about the bed too. If you said something like 'do you know the foam in the dogs bed is falling to bits?', then that IMO is ok, nothing wrong with that. But if you came out with something like 'that poor dogs bed is falling to bits, the poor thing couldn't get comfortable, I'll buy him a new one' then of course she's going to be offended. It'll have made her feel upset, ashamed maybe, like she isn't doing her best by the dog, like she hasn't got the money to spend perhaps, and that you're looking down on her in her failure to be a good dog owner.

Can't you see that?

Of course:D it was obviously the first eg, not the second.

Georgiegirl256

victory wrote: »

Of course:D it was obviously the first eg, not the second.

Does the dog seem to be healthy and happy in general? If so, the bed can't really be doing him any harm.

Any idea why your friend was 'incandescent' with rage?

*max*

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Any idea why your friend was 'incandescent' with rage?

Probably because it reads better and adds more drama than "slightly miffed".

victory

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Does the dog seem to be healthy and happy in general? If so, the bed can't really be doing him any harm.

Any idea why your friend was 'incandescent' with rage?

The dog as said seemed anxious, stressed, kept looking towards the door, was shaky , had bowel trouble but that was put down to being away from owner? She couldn't settle, had loads of cuddles, looked at us all lost but that would be missing owner?

Friend ... A complete OTT reaction to mentioning the foam... I never never expected or even for one second thought there could be such a reaction otherwise I would have clearly kept my mouth shut, you live and learn:D