Dilemma

marisco_2

Liz19 wrote: »

The hotel booking cannot be changed.

I have travelled all over the world and never come across a hotel that had such a restrictive cancellation policy. Most allow you to cancel without penalty up to 24 hours before. Others it can also be up to a certain time on day of arrival. In some circumstances, such as with group bookings, they require longer notice.

There has been a lot of man bashing on this thread but I think you could both be more accommodating of each other personally. In your shoes I would contact the hotel and check their policy then just re-arrange something that can be done at another time. Enabling your husband to go to an event that is important to him and wont happen on another date, without ill feeling. It wont be much of a weekend away if you are both upset, annoyed and resentful of one another.

poet123

I wouldn't mind if my husband wanted to spend three or four hours at a reunion whilst I pottered about the town or went to the hotel spa. I would expect him back at the hotel, sober, for Dinner though. If you wanted to I am sure you could sort something out so you can both enjoy those few hours and then have the rest of the weekend together.

trollopscarletwoman

poet123 wrote: »

. I would expect him back at the hotel, sober, for Dinner though. .

Reasonably sober-if such a thing exists!

jaylee3

Brighton_belle wrote: »

If the whole point was a bit of quality couple time, I would find no pleasure in going away to a hotel on my own.
I do find the husbands attitude selfish - not the desire to go to the reunion, but the dumping his wife at the first opportunity of a better offer without discussion or caring. How to feel totally uncherished IMO.

I agree. The OP's husband has a horrible attitude, and I would cancel the whole thing if I was her. (As someone has mentioned, ALL hotels allow you to cancel, unless you got a cheap internet rate, like you can with the travelodge.)

I would be especially annoyed that he is saying she can't even go with him to the reunion too. (Bit convenient that it's just men.)

And I have to say that I agree that some men do tend to have this way of turning things around to it being the woman's fault. This is exactly what the OP's husband is doing after all.

Maybe it is 'man-bashing' to some, but I don't see it like that; I see it as women having a vent at how men behave sometimes. And sometimes, they do have this tendency to turn things around to make out something is s your fault, even when they've started it.

Every woman I have spoken to has had a relationship with a man who behaves like this, at least now and again, and certainly more than women. Nobody is being horrible, they are just commenting on how their men have behaved in a similar manner, to help out the OP. People accusing posters of man-bashing are just trying to stir trouble IMO.

I am sure that men have a moan and a whinge about women sometimes too, so there's no need to feel sorry for the poor mites LOL. Good grief, are people not allowed to comment on their scenarios and how their men have made them feel without being accused of man-bashing? How ridiculous.

FBaby

The problem is that you probably know better than him that he is unlikely to be there for only 4 hours and remain sober and he is probably getting offended that you don't believe him.

If it was me, I would tell hubby ok, I'll go with it because I understand that it means a lot to him, but if he said that he will be back for 7pm not wasted, than this is what I would hold him up for. I would book myself for a spa during that time, then enjoy the evening together. If however he did mess me about then, stayed later (however much he contacted me before and begged me) and/or came back in a state that all he wanted to do was go to sleep, then he would certainly get a very grumpy wife to deal with!

FatVonD

squirrelchops wrote: »

Would mean OH couldn't drink but at least you both get to do what you want??

Excellent point and all the more reason not to go with him

squirrelchops wrote: »

FatvonD we must have had similar thoughts at the same time!!!

Spendless

Liz19 wrote: »

We have just had a big row about it as it will mean me spending the Saturday dropping him off at the reunion and hanging about visiting relatives for hours.

Why will it? No one is forcing you to drive the car there for your husband to attend. If he wants to go on the sports reunion even knowing you are upset about it happening during your weekend away, let him sort out how he gets there and back himself.

seven-day-weekend

poet123 wrote: »

I wouldn't mind if my husband wanted to spend three or four hours at a reunion whilst I pottered about the town or went to the hotel spa. I would expect him back at the hotel, sober, for Dinner though. If you wanted to I am sure you could sort something out so you can both enjoy those few hours and then have the rest of the weekend together.

I was thinking something similar. I don't think it's any more selfish for him to want to go to a one-off reunion than it is for her to want him to be with her for the whole weekend. I'm sure a compromise can be reached.

justme111

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I was thinking something similar. I don't think it's any more selfish for him to want to go to a one-off reunion than it is for her to want him to be with her for the whole weekend. I'm sure a compromise can be reached.

But its not about them discussing these two options , they already agreed on one of them then husband is changing it for another unilaterally and refusing to acknowledge she has reasons to be upset

poet123

justme111 wrote: »

But its not about them discussing these two options , they already agreed on one of them then husband is changing it for another unilaterally and refusing to acknowledge she has reasons to be upset

As I understood it, the weekend away had been booked and then this reunion came up in the same area. Why would you not look to combine the two? See it as convenient? A few hours (3-7pm) out of a weekend would not be a deal breaker for me.