Dilemma

Floss

Liz19 wrote: »

I think you are right. I am already resigned to the fact that he will go to the reunion and yes it is purely a man thing. I am just miffed because this sort of thing has come up before and the outcome is usually the same. I did suggest that he go and I take our daughter to the hotel for a girls break but he thought I was just being petty and trying to make a point. Thanks everyone for your comments if nothing else I did get to vent a bit.

But you are, aren't you? That sounds quite a good plan - you get some girlie time and he gets his reunion. Why doesn't he like the idea - will he have no lift there & back?

justme111

It's useful to vent . My view of it with limited info that available - he misses his boys yes as much or more as he does solo time with you. Understandable , he sees you every day after all. Very understandably you hurt by his prioritising. Your mistake was showing him your disappointment in a confrontational way. After talking who taking whom where and when during which it would become apparent that the while Saturday becomes compromised , its not just "couple of hours " you could either suggest that he goes alone and your romantic brek would some other day or serendipitously adjust and think how you could use it for "you time " and gladly agree. In both of these options you would not be attacking his choice but either benefitting from it as well or gracefully bowing out. A woman does not need to confront a man with stating that his priorities are wrong , she can either agree with them or present him with consequences of his choices . Nothing to do with man bashing, both sexes can be mean , its just that this particular scenario is typical

rachiibell

I would have thought you going away with your daughter was the perfect solution. The hotel booking isn't wasted and you get the full amount of time to enjoy the facilities. He gets to go and have a good time with the boys and doesn't feel any pressure to leave early because you have to get to the hotel. Win win.

Torry_Quine

He is being selfish in not at least talking to you about it and just presuming that going isn't a problem.

securityguy

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

The OP mentions in her first post that the hotel booking can not be changed.

No, it just means that if you don't show up you lose the cost of the rooms. You still save the travel costs and the cost of eating. If I were in the position the OP is in, I'd just write off the costs and cancel. You can either spend £X on staying at home, or £X+Y on going away for a miserable non-weekend, so at least by just writing off the hotel bill you save £Y and can watch the telly.

He's being a !!!!!!. Tell him to go on his own.

Alternatively, the OP could find someone else to go with. Male, female, whatever. Room's booked and the husband's already said he's not interested in a weekend with his wife.

Georgiegirl256

securityguy wrote: »

No, it just means that if you don't show up you lose the cost of the rooms. You still save the travel costs and the cost of eating.

Obviously. But for me personally, I wouldn't want to lose my hard earned money, especially on something that's been booked for months and that I was looking forward to.

Brighton_belle

calleyw wrote: »

I must have missed that.

Would go on my own then,

If the whole point was a bit of quality couple time, I would find no pleasure in going away to a hotel on my own.
I do find the husbands attitude selfish - not the desire to go to the reunion, but the dumping his wife at the first opportunity of a better offer without discussion or caring. How to feel totally uncherished IMO.

bylromarha

Liz - is the reunion a one off thing or not? If a one off, send him off there to have fun and rebook the weekend.

If the reunion happens regularly, then tell him to man up and say no, and he can go next time.

FatVonD

Why do you need to spend time with relatives while he attends, OP? Could he not get himself to the reunion and you stay and explore locally to the hotel? I do agree he's been selfish but I'd quite enjoy an afternoon pottering around a new town on my own

squirrelchops

Does the hotel have a spa at all?
Could OP go on their own and have a treatment or 2 and arrange to meet OH back there later on? Would mean OH couldn't drink but at least you both get to do what you want??

FatvonD we must have had similar thoughts at the same time!!!