How do I live without him?

System

but i just wanted to say that somebody sent me the 'alien song' version of 'i will survive' after a break-up and it really made me laugh.

Is this the version you were sent? Someone sent it to me too ages ago.

jaybee

Yes! That's the one!!

jellyhead

it still makes me giggle even though i know what's going to happen ... i must be easily pleased lol! but even a silly giggle at something like that probably releases happy hormones so it could help when you're feeling low. i'd also recommend the comic aid DVD, worth it just for bill bailey's song ... ahem, it's about breaking up though. but so funny my cheeks still hurt next day!

elona

PLB

Have a lovely day out - you deserve it.

As a Scot who has been in England for 23 years, I can imagine how you miss the place.

Yorkshire is lovely - as is the Lake district - try to go to new places that do not remind you of the past - hope things get better.:D

ditzymuppet

Me again.. :rolleyes:

You are doing so well! Coach trips sound exciting.. and photography is always good

Just thought.. if you are having problems sleeping and you've got a ton of things on your mind, keep a pen and paper by the side of your bed... that way when things come into your head, you can scribble them down so you can sort them out in the morning...

As for your warped sleep patterns...I'm very proud to say you are now living like a hamster...student style!! Welcome.. not all students are bad :rolleyes:

You are being so brave and strong... even though he is being naughty and sending i love you messages... thats sooo not helping the whole 'getting over him' thing... MEN! arrrgghhh!!

Keep smiling, you are doing amazingly :rolleyes:

~ditzy~

davidcampbell

hi PLB

sorry to hear of the pain you are going through. im sure most of us on the forum have been there and some point and will be there again before we leave this life behind.

i went through a break up almost 4 years ago now which i still think about a lot. the girl in question (francesca) was my childhood sweetheart and we were together for a little over 5 years.

when we finished i thought my world had ended.

in the 5 years we had together we had pretty much mapped out our whole lives together, marriage, kids, first house together after graduating uni, etc etc.

just prior to this, my sister had moved away from home and my parents spent a lot of time at her new place helping her get it ready (i was a student and worked part time weekends so couldnt go) and i found myself spending many many hours and days completely on my own. the only people i would see where work colleagues for 2 days a week (sat/sun) and the rest of the time i kept myself cooped up at home.

i wasnt sleeping or eating properly and i was in danger of really making myself ill. i only wanted to speak to F, no-one else and i would ignore most of my friends phone calls/visits etc.

the only reason i didnt really make myself ill was because of one very good friend (might sound dramatic but i dont think i was far away from some serious damage to myself).

because she was also a work colleague she was the only one who really saw how badly i was abusing my body through lack of food and sleep and she did so much to help me through it.

she would let me 'grieve' and talk about F when i needed to and reassure me that while it hurt very much it would get easier through time.

she taught me to remember the good times, enjoy the happiness that we had shared together.

and do you know what ... over time it did get easier.

F got married last year (well i think she did, heard on the grapevine as she doesnt speak to me). roundabout the time i heard this i started to think about her a lot again but i managed to even find myself feeling happy for her.

not really sure where i was going with this post now but i hope it helps in some little way.

love n hugs
David
xx

MrsMW

I just want to add my good wishes and hope you have a lovely day in Ilkley. And a good MSE tip. If you hit the shops there have a look in the charity shops, there are some very posh people living in Ilkley. Enjoy yourself.

rchddap1

Well done on making the decision about Scotland. The key is to now stick to that decision and to follow it through if you know what I mean. Some people make decisions like that and then forget all about them. However, I doubt that this will be the case with you.

Jay-Jay_4

Hi PLB

Good to hear that you're off to the gym... I'm off there too soon....it's a whole different kind of pain eh?

I've been to Ilkley too and as Aunty Margaret says, Betty's tea rooms are lovely but they do get busy and you have to queue for a table sometimes (though a Wednesday should be ok). They have a nice gift shop so get yourself some choccies or something. There's a pub across the road and you can sit outside if the weather's nice, grab some of the old dears off the coach and get them drunk

I really hope that you have a lovely time tomorrow, you sound so much more positive. I think it's fair to say that there will be good and bad days but you seem to be coping very well at the moment and for that you should be proud of yourself. You say that he was your backbone but I think that you're underestimating yourself and if you can up-sticks and move to Scotland then you've got more spine than me cos I'd be frightened to death.

davidcampbell

The hardest bit I found to read was the fact that she married someone else. That is so final isn't it? I thought about how I would feel if that happened to me. I think I would just want to die, literally. I cannot imagine him married to someone else, building a life with someone else, I just couldn't get my head around it.

yeah it was quite a shock when i heard it (particularly as she married an old school mate of mine!! ... small world!) but as i say i am happy for her. while she had her faults she was a great girl and if shes happy then im happy.

Your work colleague saved you I think (what a great girl!) as not having anyone to talk your pain through with is the hardest thing. That's what was happening to me. I had no one to talk to! I have returned to my old home 400 miles away from where I lived with him in the Highlands of Scotland and all I have here are my cats. Not that I don't love them, but it isn't the same. Because I gave up work to go live with him and left my friends behind when I went, I have come back to emptiness. This is where this board has helped so much.

absolutely. she my little gem and without her i wouldnt be who i am today. she WOULDNT let me wallow in self pity even though i wanted to and you always need someone to talk to.

i know its not the same but MSE is always here for you. in the short time ive been a member ive come to realise there are some wonderful people on here (this thread is proof of that) and im sure i speak for most when i say we are sharing your pain!

I was only the laughing, confident lassie who everyone thought was so strong because I had him. He was my back-bone. I know that sounds rather sad and pathetic but it is true. I feel like I have lost my spine, the thing that makes me stand tall and proud. I'm trying to find it again, alone and you all on here help me so much.

believe me thats exactly how i felt as well. whats the point of going on when she isnt part of my life. im only me because of her and without her im a different person (and maybe not a nice person ... thats what i thought about me im mean, not that im saying you might realise you arent a nice person without him )

Hugs to you David, wish you all the best, hope you find happiness again one day with a special girl who loves you as much as you love her. When you do, don't let go, ever!

thank you. really appreciate that.

David
xx