How do I live without him?

elona

There is a song that goes

"Got along without you before I met you
Gonna get along without you now"

Having this running through your head seems to help, as does loud music and jigging about to it while clearing up etc,weepy old movies that let you cry about something else, treating yourself with hot bubbly baths, breakfast in bed while reading papers, good book by favourite author, plenty of exercise, hot chocolate drinks while you can be cocooned in duvet and "safe".

I hope everything works out well for you in the end.

ditzymuppet

Hey Lady

I just wanted to offer my support for you *hug* there are good people in the world... and they all seem to be on this forum offering you words of help and advice, it's refreshing to see..

I agree with Aunty Margaret..nature is wonderful....although I tend to sleep like a log and have no problems sleeping..if things are getting too much for me, or i want some space I'll take myself off on a walk or i'll sit in the park and read (or people watch) or go to the beach and watch the world go by...nature is so simple...and life is too short to be miserable...

I've been quite upset recently so I joined the gym, something I've found is that you get a buzz from going to the gym, i think of it as sweating out all the bad things! Also...exercise gives off Endorphins..which are happy hormones..so even if you aren't feeling happy...your body has some happy hormones whizzing about :rolleyes:

Also...talking about whats going on in your head to someone who doesn't know you or have an interest in the two sides to the story (like friends or family would do) will help.. Talking about your problems to someone that won't judge will also help... be it a counsellor or a Samaritan...

You'll have had a lot of happy memories with your man... so maybe it's time to create some more happy memories? Join a new club, (It's great you are having facials, joining gyms, and going to yoga) and meet some new people and create some new memories! To meet people you could join the local Leos or Lions group as a way of doing things for other people less fortunate than yourself..it makes you realise the good things in life you have!

You are also most fortunate to be in one of the most beautiful places in the world.. so go buy some walking boots (or clean up the ones you have!) grab some wellies... grab a friend and their dog (walks are always much more fun with a four legged pal!) and get set on those hills!

Keep smiling, you are being so strong...

~ditzy~

margaretclare

Hi all

It's a beautiful spring morning and we did what we said we would - got up at 3.30 am and drove to some local woods. Parked among the trees by the fence on the edge of the woods, sat there and waited...and just at 4.30 am the first little twitter. We sat there until 5 and by then there were lots of birds all around competing with each other as to who could sing loudest.

The bluebells are out, it's dawn on a lovely spring morning, don't be miserable, life is too short!

Love

Aunty Margaret

needmoney

Hello PLB hope you're feeling a little better today, make it a good one x.

ceegee

May I thank you for your post, PLB? It may sound strange to want to thank you, when you are obviously suffering so much. But a year ago, the man that I love stopped loving me. He found someone else. I have not found anyone else. I do not want anyone else. I see him every day at work. Although I am so sorry for the pain that you are suffering, your pain has brought a little comfort to me in that I know now that I am not alone in this particular type of suffering. I hope that you may get some comfort from knowing that you are not alone.

homersimpson_3

Firstly you've no need to feel embarrased about posting on here- no one knows who you are - most use pseudonyms (false name) - and some use real name but you could be anywhere. Relationship breaks/ not being together are part of life and everyone (including me) has experienced break up at some point in life.
Ok so how to resolve the loneliness- in one short phrase- keep yourself busy.
Adult further education classes are a good thing because people tend to go on their own and you don't tend to see the 'lovely dovey' couples thing. They give you a great sense of achievement and make you feel good about yourself. You'll be suprised what you can achieve and in which directions it'll lead you. Also because you have deadlines to meet it motivates you. New interests come to fill the hole you feel you have inside you and you make new friends. A word of warning - don't only discuss your ex or people will run a mile. Sorry it's harsh....but true
At home - a pet will provide company- some obviously need more care than others and if you're working full-time you need to balance your needs against the animal being on its own all day. Animals like people also get lonely. If out too much get a goldfish. Anything as long as you can care for it. The emotion needs to be targeted somewhere. But a more affectionate animal (e.g. dog ) is better. Also it's important the animal is simply not used - you get an animal, meet someone else (it will happen), then think the dog has served its purpose and get rid of the animal. It's not fair on the animal. Caring for an animal is a large commitment.
Not sure if you and ex lived together but decorating house- just fresh coat of paint- will keep you busy and give you a fresh perspective/ start. It's all psychological.
If you work ask for extra hours- you'll be around people and mind will be on work or get part-time work.
Music is a good healer- don't play the music when you were together, play happy music.
Buy yourself a box of choccies and spoilt yourself.
Voluntary work- tonnes of opportunities- focusing on other's problems helps you to forgot your own.
Write a book or short story. - put your feelings down on paper. Tell the story like you're telling a person. Good way of getting it out of your system.
Cry as much as you want- for weeks if necessary- it doesn't matter. It is a form of greiving. Dont beat yourself up for missing an appointment- so what? - just make another one
If you have money set up something for a passion in life- e.g. animal sanctuary etc

ashmit

All the advice on here is great. One thing I've not seen mentioned so far (sorry if I've missed it!) is thinking about doing some voluntary work? I have a friend who when going through a very nasty breakup found that volunteering helped her fight the feelings of uselessness that you're sometimes left with after a painful relationship breakup - there are people out there who you can help, even after everything, and that that can sometimes really help you through.

Not something to look into straight away, but maybe it will help in a few weeks?

Hugs - I'm thinking about you, like so many other people on this board. I know you can get through with all this support. Take care of yourself.

xx

Iona_Penny

Oh dear it sounds like you had a dire day allround (which really is normal ) but sounds like it may have had a brighter moment and we are all waiting to hear ....

fab_at_forty

Hi plb I do so hope that you manage to sort things out with him just take things one step at a time. Sounds like he is missing you too. Like so many of us I know how difficult a break up is and how frightening and lonely it can be to be on your own again but in the end you become stronger from knowing that you can survive and if you get back together then maybe your relationship will also be stronger because of what you've been through. Either way once you hit the bottom the only way is up
I'm sure that you didn't feel the slightest bit of glee that his engine had blown up and that he was stranded!!! :rotfl:
Here's to a better nights sleep and a brighter day.

homersimpson_3

You're learning - another good song (for inspiration) is Gloria Gaynor 'I will survive'- take your time when making any decisions and do what's best for you.