How do I live without him?

margaretclare

HI PLB

'He went mental' you say, when you told him you were having your phone numbers changed. Of course he did - he now has no strings that he can jerk and have you dancing again like the puppet he wants you to be! He's done the whole thing hasn't he, from A through to Z, and I have nothing but contempt for someone who can carry the emotional blackmail through to the point of a (faked) attempted suicide. You are not responsible for him. His ex-wife isn't responsible for him - once the divorce goes through that's it. (I know because I asked this very question about my husband's ex-wife, who has angina, and the answer was a very firm and resounding NO!)

I once saw a situation with a 'battered wife' who'd come to live in our house (that was the Pennine cottage which had lots of space) to escape with her life, basically. He went into self-neglect mode and was found dead. Police arrived....it was difficult for her because although she'd started the ball rolling to divorce, they were still actually married. But I gathered that if she'd said firmly 'no, we're separated, we're divorcing, I don't want to know' then the Police could not have forced her to get involved. Then it would have been down to his family, his mother was still alive.

Carry on as you are doing, after time has passed you'll think about him less and less. His ex-wife sounds a bit like my husband - escaped practically in what he stood up in and arrived on my doorstep like a refugee!

It was my grandson's birthday yesterday, I talked to him, it was lovely (bless him!)

Aunty Margaret

elona

PLB

It is not about being selfish - it is about "save yourself" and "you do not deserve this!"

I do not want to scare you but he cannot text or phone you - but he does know where you live - please change your locks and let the police know that you are being stalked if it comes to that.

I cannot help feeling that if you could talk to the ex wife that you would get a real shock!

Please, please protect yourself in any and every way that you can. You do not deserve this and you are not responsible for him!!!!