How do I live without him?

Js_Other_Half

Sounds like a good day all in all - accept the lows as well as the highs, and soon there will be more better days than bad ones. :grouphug:

I was thinking of you today when I looked out at the grey clouds first thing, but the day did improve

Iona_Penny

Well done PLB ! think how far you have come in just a week - visits to the gym, and you even did the coach trip and I am so glad you enjoyed the day. What you are going through is going to be like the weather - some days will be brilliant sunshine and not a cloud in sight; some days there will be clouds that pass across the sun for a while and some days will be grey leaden skies all day BUT there is always the hope that the sun will come out again tomorrow and I am sensing breaks in your cloud cover.

Whatever happens you have touched the lives of so many people on this site and I am sure helped others who will have read the thread.

honey28

HI there, Sorry for jumping in on this thread as its my first post here, but i have followed the story over the past few days. it relates so much to me as I am currently going through the same thing.
Iona_Penny siad last night that this thread would be helping others and as a backround "lurker!" it has helped me.
I found out 8 weeks ago that my husband had been having an affair,It ended when i found out but he left me, saying that he was unhappy and didnt know how he felt about me anymore adn wanted a break to think about it. We had been together for 9 years, married for 2 and have 2 young children. To say I am devastated is an understatement I am able to forgive him for the affair but the rest baffles me. I had seen no signs of unhappiness, infact we are due to go on holiday in 3 weeks time!
OVer the past 8 weeks he has come and gone as he pleased, and I am ashamed to say that i have let him, in an attempt to hold on to him. Because of that he has had an easy life, while I have struggled with the 2 kids on my own. He hasnt made a decision as to what he wants - I think this is because he has had the best of both worlds. Anyway - after reading all of the advice on this thread I found the strength to pack up all of his stuff - clothes etc - and made him actually take the kids out yesterday, rather than sit in our house and say he was minding them - which is what has happened for the past 2 months. I want him to see what life will be like - He thinks we can carry on as we were, except he gets to pick and choose when he comes to us :mad:
You are doing very well, but expect to have some bad days - what I'm saying is that its ok to have bad days. I have been very up and down - more down than up to be honest - but you do start to feel stronger. My advice to you would be to avoid contact with him, let him come back to you because he wants to, not because you have asked him to. Each time you see or talk to him when you instigate it will open old wounds - as you will be waiting for those words - I love you, can i come home. Ive been waiting for them for weeks, and my heart breaks over and over again each time it doesnt happen. My strongest days are when I dont have any contact with him - Hard when there are kids involved though
I'm sorry for such a long first thread, and I am conscious that I have "jumped" your thread, but i wanted to wish you well and to thank everyone for the advice that they have given you, because it has been helping me too

ceegee

Sounds like you had a good day out, PLB.......I am so glad for you! I'll bet that that lovely old lady was sent there especially for you! Some people just seem to understand, don't they? :grouphug: :wave: :hello:

margaretclare

Hi PLB

Glad you enjoyed your day out in Ilkley!

I smiled when I read about the old lady who sat down next to you - it would have been too much of a coincidence if that had been my old and dear friend Betty, who lives in Ilkley...just the sort of thing she would do!

Aunty Margaret

jellyhead

honey, i just wanted to send you a hug *HUG*
glad this thread has helped a background lurker, and feel free to start your own if you need to, if you want support for anything to do with your children, etc. that wouldn't normally come up in this thread (unless PLB's cats count as her children? i know my rabbits are my babies just as much as my children are lol!!). i can't imagine what you're going through, my breakup was bad enough but it was a clean break and he moved away, he wasn't always in contact. i hope you're starting to have some good days, or good moments during the days.

Js_Other_Half

Well done Honey28 for making the first move in protecting yourself and your children.:T

Sometimes we have to pretend to be strong long before we feel it ourselves.

needmoney

Hi PLB, thanks for that hope you're keeping on getting better and better.

Yep ignore our gut feelings at our peril, I did , no great-great disater but am feeling a little foolish now as I should have listened to myself. Well ther you go, put it cown to larking as someone else I knew used to say, thanks for sending us fairy dust and I love all the piccies you are posting, very clever.

ditzymuppet

Hey plb!

Sounds like you had a lovely day......and in those betty's tea rooms pictures... HOW blue did the sky want to be?! Mmm delicious! Lucky thing!

So whats next on your grand adventures and plans? Got anything else planned... or maybe we can come up with some ideas?!

Keep smiling, and I'm glad to see the lovely people on the board are making you smile :rolleyes:

Be good,

~ditzy~ x

Miroslav

Sorry to hear After my partner and daughter died, I took 7 1/2 years to find someone, who did the dirty on me and I'm still recovering 4 years on.

Great to see you making the effort and one day you'll meet someone deserving of you

I know that doesn't help now, but nothing anyone says will, but you'll see everyone here is right.......one day.

Keep up the hard work