How do I live without him?

elona

You have probably left by now but have a great day.

Why not book yourself other little treats - they do not have to be expensive- but would give you a reason to get up.

Have you contacted any of your old friends? I bet they would likt to hear from you!

If you find yourself remembering only the "good times" then try writing down the things he did in the past to hurt or upset you- seeing it in black and white can help you focus on it so you remember the gritty bits that irritated you , rather than a rosy glow of remembered happiness.

Why not think about places you always meant to see - Lake district,York, Stonehenge etc - whatever gives you a "buzz".

Let us know how you get on

margaretclare

Hi PLB

I know you'll be off to Ilkley by now, and I hope you have a gorgeous day. One line of my family came from Leeds, way back in the 1850s when it was definitely NOT a salubrious place to live!! And I heard on the news, the centre of Leeds was flooded yesterday! A lot of water will be rushing under the bridge at Ilkley, the Wharfe in spate.

I belong to an online group called Yorksgen - people with Yorkshire roots who are scattered all over the world. There's an international meeting usually every 2 years and the unofficial anthem of the Yorksgenners is - 'Ilkla Moor Baht 'At'! To hear this sung on the last evening at the end of a gala dinner, in Canadian, Australian, American accents and everywhere in between, is something to remember. Give you a smile if nothing else - have a look on this site to find them http://www.yorkshireancestors.com/

I think your decision to move to Scotland is a good one. If you have nothing to keep you and if it's a practical proposition e.g. house-hunting, mortgages etc, then do it! Whyever not?

Following on from what others have said, you often realise that things do happen for the best. I found the 'great love of my lifetime' after what I thought had been a reasonably happy marriage, I found him when we were both 62! You just have to be receptive to the idea that new things may happen, your life is not over until....well, not until it's over!! So many older women said to me 'oh I wouldn't like another man in my home, in my bed, why weren't you content to be a widow?' Well, there's no answering some people. Life is for living!

This morning, we have the robins mating on the garden fence, no reticence there! Daddy blackbird feeding a young one. A wood-pigeon building a nest in the Leylandii that next door have planted. Funny that - they don't want a wildlife garden like ours, they just want no effort and easy-care, it's all decking, tropical foliage plants, a small square of lawn and a barbecue area. But Nature is getting in there anyway! Isn't it marvellous?

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

needmoney

http://www.mypleasure.com/education/sexed/deal_with_your_ex.asp

PLB hope your day was fantastic. Found this and thought you may like a read when you get home as you are starting to remember that he wasn’t PERFECT.

I really feel for you, didn’t mention it till now not to detract from you but I too am going through a little break up nothing as serious as your relationship but still hurtful and confusing but I will survive, just have to stop my fingers from texting when temptation strikes. The thing is I forgot a very important thing, I knew in my heart he wasn't right for me but I ignored my gut feeling!!

margaretclare wrote:

Hi PLB





Following on from what others have said, you often realise that things do happen for the best. I found the 'great love of my lifetime' after what I thought had been a reasonably happy marriage, I found him when we were both 62! You just have to be receptive to the idea that new things may happen, your life is not over until....well, not until it's over!! So many older women said to me 'oh I wouldn't like another man in my home, in my bed, why weren't you content to be a widow?' Well, there's no answering some people. Life is for living!

Margaretclare I feel like that too don't want another man living with me at 61yrs old but would like someone to give my love to, hearing your story perhaps there's hope for me yet

Funny that - they don't want a wildlife garden like ours, they just want no effort and easy-care, it's all decking, tropical foliage plants, a small square of lawn and a barbecue area. But Nature is getting in there anyway! Isn't it marvellous?

I also don't like a modern garden either prefer a bit of cottgey one, I have not mown the grass where the primroses have self seeded.

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

s
Sorry this all looks a bit messy.

margaretclare

Hi needmoney

I thought that my life was over when I came home from my husband's funeral in 1992, when everyone else had gone and I was alone, and added to widowhood was redundancy and no money, 5 years of struggle just to stay afloat and not be made homeless....then suddenly it all changed, everything happened in October 1997 and on 5th November he left an impossible and disastrous marriage and moved in with me!! We were married in January 2002 and we couldn't be happier. We can't imagine that there was ever a time when we weren't in each other's life, we were on the same wavelength from day one, yet we both had other marriages, families, homes, careers when we didn't know each other existed! It seems incredible now.

Your garden...yes, it's a good idea to leave an area unmown and you will get a wildflower meadow, wonderful for the bees, butterflies etc. Gardens are getting more and more important as more countryside is built over and agricultural land is farmed 'industrially'. We have a lot of wildflowers in the garden, what I would once have called 'weeds'! White dead-nettles, the bees love them. Red campion - so pretty. We've driven miles searching out nurseries that sell native wildflowers rather than the bedding plants imported from Holland - last week we went to get some ragged robin and a plant that we called 'milkmaids' in my childhood. It's all in your mind - what's a weed and what's a native wildflower?

Aunty Margaret

needmoney

I'm happy that you are happy then. I don't know about you but I don't feel old at all at 61 I feel more like 51 and feel I have so much to give and share with someone if only I could find him! not easy when you live in a small place and friends are all attatched in some way.

I much prefer natural looking gardens and think sometimes gravel and decking just don't look right for our country of the light here but each to their own. I am a country girl at heart.

ceegee

I posted something here then deleted it as I thought I'd posted it in the wrong place. It turns out that it wasn't in the wrong place after all and I bet I won't be able to find the same words now!

What I had wanted to say was that much of what has been posted here has moved me to tears. I feel that it is difficult to say whether the most important aspect of this site is the moneysavingness of it or the way it brings out the goodness and kindness of the people who use it. The milk of human kindness certainly is overflowing here and it gives my faith in human nature a real lift. Bless us one and all! :grouphug:

jen_jen_2

apologies if that has already been pointed out to you but in one of your posts you said you were confident and outgoing because of him,

it was because of all that he was around and it will come back, your confidence will return as you begin to feel more like yourself.

(keep humming ilkley moor bar tat - thanks :mad: )

needmoney

jen_jen wrote:

apologies if that has already been pointed out to you but in one of your posts you said you were confident and outgoing because of him,

it was because of all that he was around and it will come back, your confidence will return as you begin to feel more like yourself.

(keep humming ilkley moor bar tat - thanks :mad: )

jen_jen I like this and this board reminds me of it

Our kindnesses and indifferences are like sun and frost
Either we blight those around us or encourage them to grow
"As we move around this world, and as we act with kindness, perhaps or with indifference or with hostility towards the people we meet, we are setting the great spiderweb atremble. The life that I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt."

Frederick Beuchner

The Hungering Dark

Sometimes being on the net is like being intouch with some great collective conciousness , crikey I'm philosophical today:D

pandas66

Where is she? Did she have a good day? I need to know!! I had a rotten day but the thought of her dancing n singing on Ilkley Moor has kept a secret smile near......... Hope it was fun in your wellies.

Jay-Jay_4

pandas66 wrote:

Where is she? Did she have a good day? I need to know!!

Ditto that! honestly...staying out until this time when we're all sat here waiting for her :rolleyes: !

She's probably drunk as a skunk singing away on the back seat of the coach.



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Hope you had a lovely day PLB xxx x x