Wedding dilemma

ellay864

Regardless of what anybody thinks about it being rude, not the correct etiquette, highly insuting, or perfectly acceptable...the bottom line is that it is an invitation, not a royal command. OP as recipient is perfectly entitled to decline the invitation. The friend getting married must accept that an invited guest may decline that invitation. same as for when people choose not to invite kids, it's entirely the happy couple's choice but they must accept there may be people who decline because of the 'terms' of the invitation.
OP, don't worry yourself over whether you're doing the right thing by your friend in declining or not. Do what you (and your wife) think right. Your friend will have to accept your decision in the same way you have to accept his

Torry_Quine

I'm in the group that thinks it strange not to invite a spouse to a wedding and personally though it's never happened wouldn't go on my own.

That said it is up to the couple who they invite but it's just as well he asked as it wold have been very awkward if they'd both gone.

peachyprice

I must have missed the part of my wedding vows that said we would no longer be seen as individuals but as one single entity, never to be invited anywhere alone as long as we both shall live. Oops.

Horace

When numbers are limited then it is not unusual to invite people without their partners especially if the couple do not know the other halves that well or not at all. Your friend has every right to invite you without your wife regardless of whether or not other wives have been invited - it may be that his wife to be socialises with them more than with your wife.

Wedding planners such as myself often suggest this as an option especially when venue numbers are limited as well as the budget - why would you invite someone to your wedding that you didn't know or socialise with?

It is your choice as to whether or not you go - if you decide not to go then decline politely because there is no point in losing a friendship over this.

PlymouthMaid

I don't think it especially rude but obviously it is nicer if partners can attend. Is weird that other wives are invited and that would probably mean that I would decline the invitation. When my daughter got married it was very hard to plan the guest list as only 50 could attend the wedding. Fortunately she had an evening do so was able to invite a lot more to that. It is true that you cannot keep everybody happy.

Personally I find weddings very boring and weddings of strangers tedious in the extreme so I would love it if my partner went alone for the main event but I would feel a bit excluded If I couldn't accompany him in the evening as it is a chance to meet the people he knows..

GobbledyGook

PlymouthMaid wrote: »

I don't think it especially rude but obviously it is nicer if partners can attend. Is weird that other wives are invited and that would probably mean that I would decline the invitation. When my daughter got married it was very hard to plan the guest list as only 50 could attend the wedding. Fortunately she had an evening do so was able to invite a lot more to that. It is true that you cannot keep everybody happy.

Personally I find weddings very boring and weddings of strangers tedious in the extreme so I would love it if my partner went alone for the main event but I would feel a bit excluded If I couldn't accompany him in the evening as it is a chance to meet the people he knows..

In this case there is no evening do so nothing to feel excluded from...

[Deleted User]

People obviously have really strong views on this which is interesting. I'm another one who thinks it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if my OH got invited to a wedding and not me. We do a lot of things separately - I go away for Girlie weekends, on holiday with my daughter etc he has his football. He's actually a local councillor and we get invited to a lot of 'dos' - I often make him go alone because I find those kind of large social occasions very boring. He doesn't mind going alone and he doesn't mind me doing my own thing.
We have evenings out and weekends away together but we don't exist just as one entity, we're both perfectly capable of and happy to be in social occasions apart from each other

balletshoes

claire16c wrote: »

Well thats just bizarre if the other wives are invited.

Like I said before the only situation I can think that this is appropriate in, is if its work colleagues, or perhaps a group of uni friends or something to that effect, where there is enough of them to spend the day together.

Whereas
if I was invited to a wedding and didnt really know anyone else and my husband wasnt invited, well then clearly I wouldnt want to go
as would be worried about who Id be speaking to all day, and making awkward conversations with other couples.

If my friends were going and their husbands were invited and not mine, then I definitely wouldnt go!

Is there anyway you can ask the groom why its only your wife who hasnt been invited?

under what circumstances would this happen, realistically?

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

I must have missed the part of my wedding vows that said we would no longer be seen as individuals but as one single entity, never to be invited anywhere alone as long as we both shall live. Oops.

Who said anything like that?

We're talking about weddings, a very specific event, not about having to drag husbands along on girls' nights out or for coffee with your sister!

Person_one

Horace wrote: »

Wedding planners such as myself often suggest this as an option especially when venue numbers are limited as well as the budget - why would you invite someone to your wedding that you didn't know or socialise with?

Please say you're not serious?