Wedding dilemma

balletshoes

gbartlett1980 wrote: »

My wife is upset, hurt and angry about the way she feels she's been treated! I spoke to another friend who DID get the plus 1 invite and he responded with...

Wow

Wouldn't of been better not to invite either of us?
Was this invite unfair, in as it puts me in an impossible position?
Surely they know that I can't go without the wife?

Confused!

we are now 8 pages and 150plus posts into this thread OP. Some people think your friend has been rude to invite only you and not your wife, some don't.

The only opinion that matters is yours and your wife's - because you are the only one(s) who know the couple in question.

If you don't want to go, don't go - just reply saying you're not attending. Its not rocket science.

Person_one

gbartlett1980 wrote: »

My wife is upset, hurt and angry about the way she feels she's been treated! I spoke to another friend who DID get the plus 1 invite and he responded with...

Wow

Wouldn't of been better not to invite either of us?
Was this invite unfair, in as it puts me in an impossible position?
Surely they know that I can't go without the wife?

Confused!

I'm not seeing the impossible position.

You're wife is upset and hurt, you say you can't go without your wife, obviously you're not going to go, right?

Are you worried about how to politely decline?

Georgiegirl256

ska_lover wrote: »

I am not making any pressure on myself as am not in the run up to a wedding - just making observations as a married woman, as I know how demanding people can be in the run up to your own big day and it really can take the shine off of wedding planning.

I know I think you got married about the same time or just after I did. I just meant in general.

We had pressure from one of our guests, when we got married I had one guest asking if they could invite 2 of their own friends as guests - at my expense obviously, which I felt was rather inappropriate of them to be honest.

That is totally inappropriate, and very rude too, but totally different from not inviting a partner/spouse.

People seem to feel they have 'rights' as a wedding guest, and have certain expectations and seemingly very put out if these are not met and disagree about what is 'right' or 'wrong'.

Apart from asking if they can bring other people, what other demands do people make of the bride and groom?

moromir

I'm going to a wedding next month - a schoolfriend who I've known since I was four, I then went on to senior school with her and the man that became my partner.

I was the only one invited to the wedding, she knows him but was never friends with him.

Are either me or him miffed in the slightest? Absolutely not.

I want to be with my friend on the most important day of her life and my partner wants that for us too.

I'd be mortified if she'd made special arrangements or incurred cost she couldn't afford to make room for my partner OR if she would ever feel I wouldnt come without him.

All this talk of 'rights to bring a partner' is absolutely mindboggling, since when did people lose their ability to function as a person on their own? Why this expectation and sense of entitlement to bring a guest?

Dazedandconfused

moromir wrote: »

I'm going to a wedding next month - a schoolfriend who I've known since I was four, I then went on to senior school with her and the man that became my partner.

I was the only one invited to the wedding, she knows him but was never friends with him.

Are either me or him miffed in the slightest? Absolutely not.

I want to be with my friend on the most important day of her life and my partner wants that for us too.

I'd be mortified if she'd made special arrangements or incurred cost she couldn't afford to make room for my partner OR if she would ever feel I wouldnt come without him.

All this talk of 'rights to bring a partner' is absolutely mindboggling, since when did people lose their ability to function as a person on their own? Why this expectation and sense of entitlement to bring a guest?

Exactly I have married friends and friends with long term partners that go on holiday with friends separately as well as going away together and they also go out socially separately as well as together. I don't understand why you suddenly can only do things together.

I can see however if she's also a friend of the couple or if everyone else in the friend group gets a plus one except him, that she might find it offensive. But I'm not sure that is the case from the posts made.

ska_lover

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Apart from asking if they can bring other people, what other demands do people make of the bride and groom?

I can only speak from my own experience - as in my previous post - you might be better off googling that question

Georgiegirl256

moromir wrote: »

I'm going to a wedding next month - a schoolfriend who I've known since I was four, I then went on to senior school with her and the man that became my partner.

I was the only one invited to the wedding, she knows him but was never friends with him.

Are either me or him miffed in the slightest? Absolutely not.

I want to be with my friend on the most important day of her life and my partner wants that for us too.

I'd be mortified if she'd made special arrangements or incurred cost she couldn't afford to make room for my partner OR if she would ever feel I wouldnt come without him.

All this talk of 'rights to bring a partner' is absolutely mindboggling, since when did people lose their ability to function as a person on their own? Why this expectation and sense of entitlement to bring a guest?

No ones saying they can't do things without their partners, and no one has lost their ability to function on their own, but for a wedding, the done thing (that I've always known and grown up with) is usually to invite a partner.

My husband and I do plenty of things seperately, such as this weekend for example, I've been away without him, so I definitely don't need to be superglued to his side, but I do think it's only polite for longterm/married couples to be invited together.

Georgiegirl256

Dazedandconfused wrote: »

Exactly I have married friends and friends with long term partners that go on holiday with friends separately as well as going away together and they also go out socially separately as well as together. I don't understand why you suddenly can only do things together.

I can see however if she's also a friend of the couple or if everyone else in the friend group gets a plus one except him, that she might find it offensive. But I'm not sure that is the case from the posts made.

Everyone else DID get a plus one, that's part of the problem.

Georgiegirl256

ska_lover wrote: »

I can only speak from my own experience - as in my previous post - you might be better off googling that question

Nah, you're alright thanks! I thought by the way you were talking, you'd personally experienced people making many demands.

catkins

sulphate wrote: »

Maybe it's just the way your post is written, or do you think that all single people should be given the option to bring a +1 to a wedding?

I thought this was just normal for a wedding.