Wedding dilemma

Person_one

ska_lover wrote: »

There is an awful lot of pressure on brides and grooms to consider guests comfort / requirements on their own wedding day

Hang on, are you actually saying that you don't think people should have to consider their guests when they invite them to something?

catkins

peachyprice wrote: »

I must have missed the part of my wedding vows that said we would no longer be seen as individuals but as one single entity, never to be invited anywhere alone as long as we both shall live. Oops.

What a ridiculous statement. Me and OH are individuals and we don't do everything together but I would be unhappy and rather annoyed if one of us received a wedding invitation without the other. To me a wedding is not something you would normally go to alone unless you wanted to for some reason.


When we got married I invited work colleagues and so did OH. Their invitations all said they were welcome to bring someone even though I hadn't met many of my colleagues partners and the same for OH.

mumps

Reading this confirms why I dislike weddings. I would be so happy if I never get invited to another one. I am hoping my children who aren't married (2 out of 4) decide to elope to Vegas or something so I don't have to listen to 12 months of colour schemes, venues, lists etc. People always seem to end up offended or !!!!!ing about something. It really seems a total waste of money to me. I suppose that explains my wedding, 12 attended at 48 hrs notice and I didn't have flowers, new dress or any other expenses, just a ceremony and then a nice meal with very close friends/family.

Jackie132

It depends on your wife what she thinks. If she doesn't feel bad and allow you to go in the wedding ceremony, then there should be no problem you to attend wedding.

Vicky123

gbartlett1980 wrote: »

It turns out that the couple are not having an evening do and therefore can't invite everybody to the wedding.

Is it still rude for the invite not to include my wife?
The wife doesn't want me to go on my own, is that fair?
All my friends wife's are invited apart from mine, what's that about?
If I pull out of the stag do will this now offend my friend?

All your friends wife's are invited apart from yours?
I would take that as a snub to my wife and definitely not go to either stag or wedding.
Having said that my spousal loyalty never paid me any dividends:o

poet123

claire16c wrote: »

Well that's the parents fault for not insisting on it or withdrawing the money then. Although quite why they want to invite their friends who don't know the bride & groom I'm not sure.

If they withdrew the money it would essentially be blackmail. I assume they thought their daughter would see their point of view, but she didn't. They wanted to invite their friends because they have been to the weddings of the friends children.

duchy

poet123 wrote: »

If they withdrew the money it would essentially be blackmail. I assume they thought their daughter would see their point of view, but she didn't. They wanted to invite their friends because they have been to the weddings of the friends children.

I suppose if they raised their daughter to think her needs were always more important than anyone elses - even if it caused upset or embarrassment then I guess they are reaping what they sowed.
The bride sounds like a very selfish person.

There is balance to be had-I went to a wedding of a very grounded couple-it was a gorgeous wedding - no expense spared , toastmaster, harpist , horse and carriage, gorgeous venue etc all paid for by her Dad but the trade off was he invited loads of business contracts.....even mentioning them in the Father of the Bride's speech... His attitude was he was paying he could invite people HE wanted (that the B&G had never met) as well. As weddings went it had very little atmosphere as there was very little common ground between many of the guests.

A few family friends is one thing -half of the business address book is another !

poet123

duchy wrote: »

I suppose if they raised their daughter to think her needs were always more important than anyone elses - even if it caused upset or embarrassment then I guess they are reaping what they sowed.
The bride sounds like a very selfish person.

I don't think she is alone though. The things that come through on many wedding threads are; it is your day do exactly as you please, invite who you want, leave out anyone you don't want, etc, etc. It just seems very self absorbed to me. None of us lives in isolation, and most of us recognise that we have familial obligations that have to be balanced against having exactly what we want.

arbroath_lass

ska_lover wrote: »

There is an awful lot of pressure on brides and grooms to consider guests comfort / requirements

:eek:


Surely that is what a good host does? At any occasion they have guests.

MorrenCraige

Even if you have a shindig with a buffet in the village hall there will be a cap on numbers. The venue will only accommodate so many guests, and the couple can only afford to cater for so many people, especially if they want to put on a decent spread.