Wedding dilemma

gbartlett1980

I've have recently been invited to a friends wedding but on receiving the invitation I realise it's only has my name on the invite and no mention of my wife! Having thought this was a mistake I text him (awkward) and politely asked if it included my wife, in which he replied no because numbers are tight and we can't invite all "other halves".

With this in mind do I go to the wedding regardless?
Was I rude in asking my friend if it included my wife?
Should I attend his stag do out of general principle?

Seanymph

How does your wife feel about it?

If she is of the 'woohoo, a weekend on my own to go visit my old friend I haven't seen for a year' then you are safe to go.

If she scowls and says 'do whatever you think is right' then you need to send your apologies.

Alikay

What do you want to do? If numbers are tight, I don't suppose your friend will be too bothered if you don't go to the wedding - just give some other excuse rather than "you didn't ask my wife, so I don't want to go either" as it sounds a bit mardy!

Do you also want to go to the stag do? A night out with the lads might be good fun and would show him that you still want to be part of his celebrations even if you don't attend the wedding.

19lottie82

I'm getting married in July and the registration hall where we are getting hitched only holds 35 people, so we have had to invite a few friends without their OH's.

However, we have told them that we hope they can attend the evening do.

If there is something similar with this wedding, would your wife be able to attend the reception?

Back to the OP, how good a friend is it and would your DW mind if you went alone?

DomRavioli

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me OP, it is THEIR wedding and they can invite who they want, even if that means your wife doesn't get to come.

And no-one can give you your morals, you have to work them out for yourself you know. If you want to go, then go to the wedding/stag do etc.

tea_lover

I don't think it was rude to ask. I'm sure the groom would prefer that people clarify than just turn up with extra people on the day. As to whether you go, I don't really see why you wouldn't tbh.

If they invited 5000 people, but not your wife then I can see it might be a snub! But if it's just a matter of numbers that seems perfectly reasonable.

DigForVictory

+1 for be guided (within reason) by your wife.
If she's unfussed, go & have a beano, & cosset her a bit extra.
If she's somewhat snarked, negotiate the stag do & cosset her a bit extra.

pelirocco

DomRavioli wrote: »

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me OP, it is THEIR wedding and they can invite who they want, even if that means your wife doesn't get to come.

And no-one can give you your morals, you have to work them out for yourself you know. If you want to go, then go to the wedding/stag do etc.

True they can invite who they want , but I for one wouldnt have dreamed of inviting anyone without their partners ( nor their children , but guess thats a another argument lol)

Georgiegirl256

gbartlett1980 wrote: »

With this in mind do I go to the wedding regardless?
Was I rude in asking my friend if it included my wife?
Should I attend his stag do out of general principle?

1, I would personally only go if I knew other people that I could sit with, mutual friends for example.

2, I personally don't agree with not inviting people's long term partners. (If it can be at all helped) If someone has only been with someone for a short while then yes, I can understand that, but long term partners should be invited IMO, so no, I don't think you were rude in asking, as it could have been a genuine mistake on their part, but you weren't to know if it was or it wasn't.

3, Again, is it just the groom you know, and how well do you know him? If it's a really good friend, then I think you should still go regardless, as I don't think not inviting your wife was anything personal. That's if you want to that is.

DKLS

Read between the lines: Go to the stag do and sack off the wedding, you have been given the opportunity to duck out of the boring bit (for a man) you have a top mate.

Focus on the stag do, I can highly recommend hiring a dwarf and handcuffing them to the groom, we did that for a mate and it was hilarious. Although there are rules that you have to look after your dwarf.

Person_one

You weren't at all rude to ask, its pretty rude to only invite one half of a married couple.

Don't feel you have to go if you'd rather not, but you might decide not to point out the irony of them expecting you to fork out and celebrate their marriage while they show no consideration or respect for yours.