What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

lostinrates

girlycara wrote: »

Im not disputing what you are saying, except I would question your geographical knowledge.

no atlas I have ever looked in describes Spain as being a part of Italy.

I've just asked my DH ( most of the Italians I know don't actually live at home) but DH tells me its totally normal for adult children to contribute at home. (At least in his experience in his area......we're now trying to think if anyone we knew/know in Milan lived with parents)

thorsoak

girlycara wrote: »

georgiegirl, I probably didn't put it across very well, what I was saying was basically I wouldn't tolerate being physically disciplined, I think its abhorrent and wrong

Badly brought up brats generally don't tolerate being disciplined in any way, shape or form.

I think it abhorrent and wrong that an adult who is capable of earning his or her own living still thinks entitled to live off their parents when they earn more than the parents.

sniffles

It doesn't stay the same always. If you have a single or widowed parent then you pay much less in council tax. You also pay less in utility bills. If the child wants fast broadband and sky tv that is also a cost.
I don't think it is a good way to bring up adult children because when they do get a mortgage, they don't have any idea about the running costs of their own home.
My children seem to manage, because they know that nothing comes for free.

girlycara

I know nothing comes free, im not thick, I don't need a demonstration from my parents and nor do most other people

TBagpuss

Your son is being unreasonable and greedy.If he thinks it is unfair to expect him to pay, then encourage him to move out and rent somewhere at market rates. You can then get a lodger in to assist in your financial situation (and the lodger won't expect to be run after and have their laundry done!)

I don't know about your area, but here you'd be lucky to get a room in a shared house for less than about £70 p.w. plus bills, which is more than you are asking him to contribute.

It would be lovely if you could afford to support another adult, but you can't.

It's fair for him to pay rent and a share of bills. I would look at local ads for room rentals and discount it a little, and charge him that amount plus 1/3 bills. So, if the going rate for a room in a shared house in your area is £70 p.w. plus bills, charge him £60 p.w. plus 1/3 bills.

I think it is absolutely fair for parents to support their **dependent** children, and for parents to support older children if theywish to, and can afford to, but for an adult on a decent wage to expect to freeload on a parent who is struggling financially.... lets just say it is not the parent in that situation that I'd be considering to be behaving in a way that's "obscene"

You'll be doing your son a favour if you charge him a more realistic amount. If he wants a place of his own he will have to learn how to budget.

Does he know what you earn and what the household running costs are?

thorsoak

girlycara wrote: »

I know nothing comes free, im not thick, I don't need a demonstration from my parents and nor do most other people

You might not be "thick" as you put it, but you are coming across as arrogant, greedy and avaricious.

Person_one

balletshoes wrote: »

i'm not disagreeing with you person_one, just wondering - can you get a place for £300 a month, all bills, food and toiletries included? Even at £300, I don't think thats anything like market rent, if you include everything else the OPs son currently gets for his board money?

I wasn't charged "market rent" as board, I don't know any people who were to be honest.

In some parts of the country you can easily get a room in a shared place for that amount, and you don't have to live with your parents which is priceless.

victory

girlycara wrote: »

ok lets put it this way, son moves out.....


rent/mortgage stays same
insurances stay same
council tax stays same (assuming 2 adults remain obviously)
water stays same unless on meter but is cheap anyway
phone/sky stays same
electricity/gas wont change a huge amount, house still costs same to heat, light bulbs cost same etc
ok food shopping could go down but amounts can vary a lot

so basically the adult, earning child that pays rent to live at home is subsidising the cost of the parents home? how fair is that? you choose to have kids you choose to provide, end of

The more people are in one house the more everything costs... there is more washing which means more washing powder, softner, washing machine on more, more electricity, the tumbler dryer, more electricitity, nights on the xbox, more electricity, the kitchen items gets used more, kettle on more, toaster on more, more food eaten, in and out of the stocked fridge paid by the parents but eaten by the earning children?

More electricity usage of the iron, heating on more...

More water, more showers, more toiletries, more cleaning products to use to clean up after the non paying children...

Mojisola

girlycara wrote: »

as a relatively young person who until recently lived at home, I disagree with the idea of charging kids (even when adults and earning), a penny. I will never charge my kids a single penny when I eventually have them. you have kids knowing they will cost you, if you cant afford to look after and nurture them then don't have them. they don't stop being your kids on your 18th birthday.

Perhaps you wouldn't be in debt now if you'd shared the costs when you were living at home and understood how expensive everything is.

sniffles

girlycara wrote: »

I know nothing comes free, im not thick, I don't need a demonstration from my parents and nor do most other people

This is only a discussion forum. Why the aggression?