What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

balletshoes

girlycara wrote: »

as a relatively young person who until recently lived at home, I disagree with the idea of charging kids (even when adults and earning), a penny. I will never charge my kids a single penny when I eventually have them. you have kids knowing they will cost you, if you cant afford to look after and nurture them then don't have them. they don't stop being your kids on your 18th birthday.

look at cultures that have far healthier attitudes to family life, Italians etc, they would never charge their kids rent

you're entitled to your opinion - but a 21-year old on £31000 a year doesn't need looking after or nurturing (or shouldn't do).

I can't speak for Italian families, but my OH is Turkish, and the idea of charging grown-up kids to stay in their family home is a strange one to him too. However, in Turkey the "kids" are expected to bring home all their earnings, into the family pot. I think its fairer to have a set amount the "kids" have to bring home, then let them have the rest to themselves.

girlycara

rubbish, of course they do. 31k is not a life of riley style salary with the cost of living today, and because he earns at a young age you as a parent would punish him? what rubbish

sniffles

girlycara wrote: »

as a relatively young person who until recently lived at home, I disagree with the idea of charging kids (even when adults and earning), a penny. I will never charge my kids a single penny when I eventually have them. you have kids knowing they will cost you, if you cant afford to look after and nurture them then don't have them. they don't stop being your kids on your 18th birthday.

look at cultures that have far healthier attitudes to family life, Italians etc, they would never charge their kids rent

Never say never. You sound like a spoiled entitled child and your parents deserve you. Go out and pay your own rent, gas, electricity, council tax etc. No? Too hard? Thought so.

thorsoak

girlycara wrote: »

rubbish, of course they do. 31k is not a life of riley style salary with the cost of living today, and because he earns at a young age you as a parent would punish him? what rubbish

He is earning pretty nearly TWICE as much as his mother! And yet you think she should be supporting him? Absolute rubbish - it sounds as if you are another young person who thinks that she should be "entitled".

balletshoes

girlycara wrote: »

rubbish, of course they do. 31k is not a life of riley style salary with the cost of living today, and because he earns at a young age you as a parent would punish him? what rubbish

who's punishing him? i think thats the difference in the way we think - i consider it a good life lesson to learn that you don't get everything in life for free - including the roof over your head - as an adult.

i didn't say your opinion was "rubbish" so please extend me the same courtesy.

Paulaviki

girlycara wrote: »

rubbish, of course they do. 31k is not a life of riley style salary with the cost of living today, and because he earns at a young age you as a parent would punish him? what rubbish

Living at home and paying £250 a month, what is his 'cost of living' other than that and maybe a car and phone? Sounds like a life of Riley to me, plenty of disposable income!

Indie_Kid

girlycara wrote: »

as a relatively young person who until recently lived at home, I disagree with the idea of charging kids (even when adults and earning), a penny. I will never charge my kids a single penny when I eventually have them. you have kids knowing they will cost you, if you cant afford to look after and nurture them then don't have them. they don't stop being your kids on your 18th birthday.

look at cultures that have far healthier attitudes to family life, Italians etc, they would never charge their kids rent

But the adult "child" is costing their parents money. If they weren't charged rent, then the parents may not be able to afford the extra costs (extra food, heating, water, etc) that their child is costing them.

girlycara

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

chrissyan

girlycara wrote: »

rubbish, of course they do. 31k is not a life of riley style salary with the cost of living today, and because he earns at a young age you as a parent would punish him? what rubbish

Thanks for your opinion girlycara, to me £31K is a great salary almost double what myself and my partner earn added together. To be fair my son is on a horrible shift system and this is what boosts it up.

I really don't feel that I am 'punishing' him, I do rather feel that he has been punishing me today though.:(

I am very well familiar with the way of life in southern Europe, however I am not so sure they don't put any money in the pot.

If I were comfortably off I would happily let him stay here for free, the fact is I cannot afford to do so and at 21 and on a good salary( IMHO) I really need him to pay his way. as for it being obscene, I am amazed you think like that.

balletshoes

girlycara wrote: »

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

my family for one - and i will too, when the time comes .