What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

thorsoak

girlycara wrote: »

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

A family where everyone is respected, where selfishness is not part of the ethos; where children are taught by their parents that when everyone pulls together, they grow stronger together.

A family that has to "demand payment" is obscene - but an adult child who takes for granted that parents will continue to support a young healthy person when the parents' health may be failing - is an abberation - and deserves everything that it ultimately gets.

R_P_W

girlycara wrote: »

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

Congratulations! Probably most laughable post I have seen today!

It shouldn't have to be demanded....it should be offered!

Indie_Kid

girlycara wrote: »

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

So, what would happen if you couldn't afford to keep your child rent free?

sniffles

girlycara wrote: »

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

I really hope you don't need childcare with that attitude. Your family might not be available eventually, but they won't say why due to a tantrum from you.
My family have a code. Granny duty(my free time) and shifts(granny gets paid when it is over 12 hours and an overnighter). Take your obscene away with you and have a think about your attitude.

girlycara

ok lets put it this way, son moves out.....


rent/mortgage stays same
insurances stay same
council tax stays same (assuming 2 adults remain obviously)
water stays same unless on meter but is cheap anyway
phone/sky stays same
electricity/gas wont change a huge amount, house still costs same to heat, light bulbs cost same etc
ok food shopping could go down but amounts can vary a lot

so basically the adult, earning child that pays rent to live at home is subsidising the cost of the parents home? how fair is that? you choose to have kids you choose to provide, end of

lostinrates

chrissyan wrote: »

Thanks for your opinion girlycara, to me £31K is a great salary almost double what myself and my partner earn added together. To be fair my son is on a horrible shift system and this is what boosts it up.

I really don't feel that I am 'punishing' him, I do rather feel that he has been punishing me today though.:(

I am very well familiar with the way of life in southern Europe, however I am not so sure they don't put any money in the pot.

If I were comfortably off I would happily let him stay here for free, the fact is I cannot afford to do so and at 21 and on a good salary( IMHO) I really need him to pay his way. as for it being obscene, I am amazed you think like that.

If I were in your shoes (despite my mortgage comment, and thank you for putting into perspective,:D) I would ask for something even if I could afford it.

As others have said, its for HIS benefit too. We've had one of dh's cousins lodge with us, were going to have a sibling of his stay with us and one of parents lives with us, and we have returned to my family home, Mutually acceptable terms have been agreed in ALL situations.

Its important , in my opinion, to have these reassessments agreed and something concrete put in place. In one situation (sibling) money wasn't going to be a sensible or realistic request or have the benefit needed from the option of coming here so DH and his sibling worked out an arrangement based on man hours of contribution to stuff here Plus normal household chores. (Thankfully sibling got a job elsewhere)

starrybee

Earning 31k he could easily afford to rent his own flat.

Do you even want him living with you?

Indie_Kid

girlycara wrote: »

water stays same unless on meter but is cheap anyway

How? There'd be less laundry to do and not so many people would be having showers.

you choose to have kids you choose to provide, end of

What happens if the parents don't earn much and can't afford to have their adult child living at home rent free? Which appears to be the OPs situation.

balletshoes

girlycara wrote: »

ok lets put it this way, son moves out.....


rent/mortgage stays same
insurances stay same
council tax stays same (assuming 2 adults remain obviously)
water stays same unless on meter but is cheap anyway
phone/sky stays same
electricity/gas wont change a huge amount, house still costs same to heat, light bulbs cost same etc
ok food shopping could go down but amounts can vary a lot

so basically the adult, earning child that pays rent to live at home is subsidising the cost of the parents home? how fair is that?
you choose to have kids you choose to provide, end of

.... in your opinion.

In my opinion, I see no reason at all why a 21-year old adult, who is working and earning, shouldn't contribute to the living expenses of the house he lives in, whether thats a family home, a friends home, or their own home.

KxMx

By all means he should be paying a fair amount and not expect to live rent free or not contribute in other ways to the household.

However I did just want to say it's not your son's fault that you have debt.

I'm not sure about your earning because in post #1 it's given as 34k combined then in post #35 you say your son's wage of 31k is more than double what you and partner earn together. Did you mean 14k combined?