What would be fair amount for a 21 year old to pay?

duchy

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I hope that wasn't another dig at me duchy? If you've read all the posts, you would see that I offered numerous times to pay KEEP to my parents,, and, wait for it....here's the biggy....yes, I did wipe my own bum! :cool:

I'm am getting a mite tired of your attention seeking ..........Have you seen how many people have posted on this thread -yet AGAIN you get your knickers in a twist and decide I must be talking about you !

Here's a newsflash for you Georgie....... sometimes it isn't "all about you" Grow UP for goodness sake !!!

duchy

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I think that's a huge assumption. You can 'repay' your parents in other ways and at different times in their lives.

My bloodsucking-3-years-rent-free brother is at my parents this weekend replacing their broken fence and generally tidying up post-storms.

Next weekend, I will go to their house (2hrs away) just to feed the cat as they are going away and none of their usual cat-feeding friends are about.

I don't understand the hostility. I didn't see anyone say they had parents who asked them for money and they refused. My parents never asked.

But wouldn't you do that for them anyway ....regardless of if they had charged you keep in the past or not ? I paid keep when I lived at home .....but I'd still buy my Mum a bunch of flowers now and again ......and did so after I left home....and fed the cats when they were away etc ..... just the normal stuff . For me it's just normal stuff kids do for their parents regardless <shrug> As for doing it at different times in their lives...... My parents both died relatively young so if I had thought "I'll make it up to them later" I'd have been out of luck.

I do think it's sad that parents have to ask for keep - When I started working I (and all of my friends) took it for granted we'd be paying keep -it was what everyone did and part of growing up and earning. Looking back we were quite proud to be doing it....which is probably why I find all this indignation at the thought of parents having the nerve to ask so weird.

Georgiegirl256

duchy wrote: »

I'm am getting a mite tired of your attention seeking ..........Have you seen how many people have posted on this thread -yet AGAIN you get your knickers in a twist and decide I must be talking about you !

Here's a newsflash for you Georgie....... sometimes it isn't "all about you" Grow UP for goodness sake !!!

Attention seeking? Okaaaay, whatever you say duchy!

Just call it a feeling, that you were meaning me. Not just me alone, but I reckon I was included in that, apologies if I was wrong, but as you didn't say otherwise, I assume that I was in right in thinking that, and tbh I'm getting sick of your little snidey digs, not just only at me, but at other people too. It seems like people aren't allowed an opinion, news flash for you....they are!

If you truely weren't meaning me, then apologies again, and good night.

ETA: Nice editing in your quote in post 106 btw!

Cloudydaze

duchy wrote: »

I am disgusted by some people on here. Selfish doesn't even start to describe their attitude to their parents.

I was specifically responding to this point about being selfish which I assumed was meant for those of us who didn't pay our parents 'keep' (after everything they'd done for the first 18 yrs of our lives)

I was merely pointing out that I don't consider that I have a selfish attitude towards my parents and that I (and my brothers) like to help them out in a number of different ways and it's not always about money.

duchy

Apology accepted ....Trust me you'd KNOW if I was talking about you .... I'd say or quote you. I call a spade a spade and don't "do" the passive aggressive carp so many people play.

I have strong opinions and so do you - but just because someone is disagreeing with you doesn't mean the are "snidey" it simply means they don't agree with you.

Sky_

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I was specifically responding to this point about being selfish which I assumed was meant for those of us who didn't pay our parents 'keep' (after everything they'd done for the first 18 yrs of our lives)

I was merely pointing out that I don't consider that I have a selfish attitude towards my parents and that I (and my brothers) like to help them out in a number of different ways and it's not always about money.

But, would you have offered to pay if you knew things were financially tight for them and you were earning a good salary?

For me that is the crux of the matter. Regardless of them choosing to accept your offer or not, I'd be disappointed if a young adult close to me resented offering/giving a much-needed contribution.

Spirit_2

My daughter pays £250 per month housekeeping. Which started when she completed paying for her MA. She buys her own toiletries, and other food if she wants to eat something other than what is on offer here.

Although she lives with us, we have weaned her off any financial dependence on us. We do not need the money, she understands that you cannot live for free.

Speaking to friends I know a lot of them are paying the rent of their adult children who live elsewhere, and are impressed by her approach.

PeacefulWaters

girlycara wrote: »

as a relatively young person who until recently lived at home, I disagree with the idea of charging kids (even when adults and earning), a penny.

Then you disagree with common sense. Fair play. Teaching kids about the real world and expecting people to pay their fair share in life.

I will never charge my kids a single penny when I eventually have them.

While it is your prerogative, I'd suggest you'd be breeding the spongers of tomorrow. Your kids will grow up believing the world owes them a living and everything in life is free. It isn't. Living somewhere costs money. Eating food costs money. Heating costs money.

you have kids knowing they will cost you, if you cant afford to look after and nurture them then don't have them. they don't stop being your kids on your 18th birthday.

You have kids. You love them. You cherish them. But you raise them knowing full well that they are programmed to become independent of you.

You train them to go to the toilet. To wash themselves. You educate them. You help them learn from their mistakes. You look to set them up for a successful future by helping them make the right choices.

But the second they get their own income they should contribute to their existence. Somebody taking home £2,000 a month should not be getting upset at paying £300 for board and lodgings. If he doesn't like it he can do one.

If he plays the long game he can try saving half of his remaining salary for 12 months. The poor lamb will only have £28 a day to live on but he will have a £10,000 lump sum to show for it. More than enough to be a deposit and fees to buy a property in the frozen wastes of the north.

I'd hazard a guess that if the rent was cut the local pubs and clubs would see a similar increase in profits.

His attitude is shameful.

look at cultures that have far healthier attitudes to family life, Italians etc, they would never charge their kids rent

Isn't the maf!a an example of Italian family life?

girlycara wrote: »

I own a home, I am a teacher and have done other part time work, and I pay my own way for EVERYTHING, but in the family home, no chance. what sort of family demands payment? its obscene

I'd be a bit concerned if you were sharing your views that somebody should have no living costs with my kids in your classroom.

If you pay your own way, why do you have so many debts?

I am in lots of debt and in truth this could be from any one of a number of debts, I suspect water or gas/electricity.

Person_one

duchy wrote: »

Paying rent is what people do when they are paying a stranger or someone they have a business relationship with.
Paying keep is what you pay your family-is usually way below market rate and is a demonstration of appreciation and showing you are a part of the family and WANT to be part of it and give the parents (who fed, clothed and generally supplied your needs and (some if not all) wants for eighteen years) money to help with the family budget ....or even just to treat themselves.

I am disgusted by some people on here. Selfish doesn't even start to describe their attitude to their parents.

Incidentally do those who think an adult child shouldn't pay keep also think the parents should also cook, clean, iron, make the child's bed and wipe their bum for them on a daily basis too ?

Wow, what a complete over-reaction.

Catherine_:]

I am 21 and earn just over £1000 a month. I currently pay £220 a month and do not begrudge it at all. I know if I went and lived on my own I'd be paying a heck of a lot more!