If I don't move, he will leave me....

Tiglath

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

"No-one" is a massive, entirely untrue, generalisation. At my son's school, the head's been there since before I was born, let alone my son. I'm only aware of two teachers having left the whole primary since my now year-4 son started there, both after having children.

DH has taught at his London school for close to 25 years and has taught the children of quite a few of his former pupils. One of his former pupils works alongside him as a teacher. Quite a few of the staff seem to stay at the school until retirement.

meritaten

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

There are bad things about every place, but nowhere in the UK can possibly compare itself favourably with London in terms of the sheer breadth and depth of galleries and museums in London.

really? have you never visited the Museum of Welsh Life in St Fagans? or the art Galleries in Liverpool? to say that only London has Museums and Art Galleries worth visiting is arrogant to say the least. the whole country has a History and all regions have at least one Museum worth visiting. and it isn't just about Museums and Art Galleries - Britain is a Cultural Feast! every area has its own customs. everywhere you go you can find History and Tourist attractions. and even Culture! London isn't the only place to find Opera or Theatre or Ballet. most companies TOUR the provincial towns and cities.
(and its a lot cheaper)

lostinrates

meritaten wrote: »

really? have you never visited the Museum of Welsh Life in St Fagans? or the art Galleries in Liverpool? to say that only London has Museums and Art Galleries worth visiting is arrogant to say the least. the whole country has a History and all regions have at least one Museum worth visiting. and it isn't just about Museums and Art Galleries - Britain is a Cultural Feast! every area has its own customs. everywhere you go you can find History and Tourist attractions. and even Culture! London isn't the only place to find Opera or Theatre or Ballet. most companies TOUR the provincial towns and cities.
(and its a lot cheaper)

But that's not what's being said as I read it.

I read it Not as. only London stuff is worth seeing but that the sheer number and variety of such things are greater in London, so that its a wonderful place to do those things with ease, every single week with no repetition. And that's a fair point.

As for cost, while its not enough to make me want to live there full time, we were always able to find something free or very low cost when we were living there. DH was doing something tonight free, and might tomorrow if he can. I found 'cultural access' cheaper in London. Things like cinima are were cheaper out of London by far, but one must pay to drive in and park.

Horace

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

There are bad things about every place, but nowhere in the UK can possibly compare itself favourably with London in terms of the sheer breadth and depth of galleries and museums in London.

I guess you haven't been to Birmingham then because we have museums and galleries aplenty if you know where to look! Certainly here in the Midlands we have some fantastic museums - e.g the Leather Museum in Walsall, Broadfield House Glass Museum in Stourbridge, ThinkTank, Birmingham City Museum & Art Gallery (we have a large part of the Saxon Hoard on display too - you don't see that in London!), the Lapworth Museum (geological artifacts), The Barber Institute (a wonderful little gallery containing some fantastic works of art) and loads of other places to boot.

It must be dreadful having such a closed mind in thinking that everything revolves around London.

neverdespairgirl

meritaten wrote: »

really? have you never visited the Museum of Welsh Life in St Fagans? or the art Galleries in Liverpool? to say that only London has Museums and Art Galleries worth visiting is arrogant to say the least. the whole country has a History and all regions have at least one Museum worth visiting. and it isn't just about Museums and Art Galleries - Britain is a Cultural Feast! every area has its own customs. everywhere you go you can find History and Tourist attractions. and even Culture! London isn't the only place to find Opera or Theatre or Ballet. most companies TOUR the provincial towns and cities.
(and its a lot cheaper)

If I had said anything of the sort, perhaps you'd have a point.

As I didn't say anything remotely like it, you have no point at all.

Every area or town has something worth seeing. There are many fantastic things worth seeing in every region.

What I actually said was that nowhere else has the breadth and depth that London has in terms of galleries and museums. Which is entirely true.

coolcait

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

...but nowhere in the UK can possibly compare itself favourably with London in terms of the sheer breadth and depth of galleries and museums in London.

meritaten wrote: »

..... to say that only London has Museums and Art Galleries worth visiting is arrogant to say the least. ...

There's quite a leap from what NDG actually said, to the way that it has been (mis)represented in the second quote.

Others may want to challenge NDG's actual statement - as Horace has already done, by putting forward a suggestion that Birmingham may have some hidden gems, which would put it on a par with London in terms of "sheer breadth and depth of galleries and museums in London.

Voyager2002

freeisgood wrote: »

I am married to a man who is quite a lot older than me so he will be retiring within the next few years, we have two young children.

I know he has hated london for a long time, but we have met and lived in the London suburbs for 10 years, now. He has got to the point where he wants to move out of london. Unless we can buy a detached house, surrounded by greenery (which we can't as too expensive), he wants out of London.

Now, I drive to work 10 mins away, I am part time self employed, our kids are at an outstanding primary school, my family and freinds are nearby, all my hobbies are a few moments away....you get my point. My whole life and kids lives are here.

I would put up with living in a modest 3 bed semi to keep what we have.
My husband hates London, hates suburbia, absolutely hats semi's, and keeps on suggesting hertfordshire, bedfordshire, chilerns etc. Even these he sees as a compromise, as he would prefer somerset etc...

This makes me sick to the stomach as it would mean no London Life, no museums galleries, art classes etc. And a long commute to work.

I am in a weak position, because he has his own house at the moment that will fund the move. We are renting in a different part of north london at present in the area i grew up in. He has told me in no uncertain terms, that if I don't move, he will buy a small house to live in himself and leave me and the kids in London (buy us a small property.)

I want to be with my husband, he can't stand London, but I can't bear leaving London. I feel he is not being realistic, but he says he wants his "last years" in a place he wants to be! Yeah, the next 30 yrs!

I am seriously depressed over this, it is affecting my work, I just stay in bed when I can. I am shaking just typing this.

We are in stale mate at the mo.

But I know it is my own problem and no one elses, just good to get it out!

For a start, he hasn't threatened to leave you. Husbands who leave do not usually buy a town-house for their families... That might be a practical solution: buying two properties, enabling him to divide his time between the place that he loves and the people that he loves, if he can't have both together.

London does have serious disadvantages: many people are forced to live there because of their jobs and long for the freedom to live elsewhere. Apart from your friends, just about everything that you like about London is easily available elsewhere in the UK. While you have managed to find an excellent primary school, there is a crisis in secondary school provision so that when your children are a bit older you might face a different kind of pressure to leave London.

And since you are self-employed, it would be a good deal easier for you to move work out of London than it would for most people.

Pennypincher2

He could buy a little property out of London like a garden flat and you see him at weekends? However that means he has very little responsibility for his kids and if he retires he should be doing it all and cooking dinner on your arrival home from work and you could ramp it up and have a career. So that doesn't work for you.

If you move out of London will he do the house husband thing to enable you to soar at work? I mean really adopt women role, kids to school, cooking cleaning etc and let you commute and really get a career going?

If he wont then stay in London cos you have friends and family support, make life as good as you can work 22 hours a week and claim working tax credit. And your marriage is over, he has the power as he wants change but really does he want out of the marriage or in. If he wants in then he needs to step right up to enable you to move out of London but remain there for work and social life. If he wants out then best know now before you make life changing decisions for the whole family. If your marriage is over get good legal advise before you agree to anything cos he has small kids to support financially and I wouldn't be agreeing to anything without finding out what he proposes his role to be at home. This will tell you whether this marriage is finished or not, perhaps even before he knows it and gives you opportunity to prepare i.e. save some money from joint account, get rid of credit card debt, see solicitor and sort out what you need to do so you are a step ahead. Best of luck he has initially power but you are Women so you make home and food and love and warmth you'll be ok x

pollyanna24

ringo_24601 wrote: »

We live in south Hertfordshire; and it doesn't stop us doing things 'in London' - my wife is going on a night out in South London tonight.. I travel over to east London for work myself.. Last weekend we drove to Great Portland St on Sunday and it barely took any time on the M1 (Brent cross is just a 20 minute drive too). Our local train can get me to Euston in 35 minutes. We really aren't isolated from London at all - we still think we're part of North London really. I've previously lived in Golders green and was very happy to get out to somewhere quieter. We are in our early 30s.

The standard of living is so much nicer. My kids are surrounded by beautiful countryside and when they are older we'll take them on the cycle paths around the woods near us.

Frankly, i'd kill for a 35 minute commute. Mine typically takes an hour to 90 minutes but i pass the time on the train reading or watching films.

Why don't you take a drive out of town to see a few places? Go on a family trip and try to have fun with it.

Blimey, it's weird coming on here and knowing all the places people talk about and realising people must live right next to you! Hello neighbour!


South Herts here. My parents lived in the North London suburbs and I would hate to live back there. No way on earth would you get me moving closer into London.


I travel to work and quite like the time reading a book. Only have to do it three days though. And I like the idea that London is still quite close, so we can still go out and do the London thing, but obv not every day. Wouldn't want to do that anyway!

Tanswell88

I moved over 50 miles away for my husband. He got a new job and it involved me leaving my friends and family, our daughter leaving her school and best friends.
I was SO scared but it was honestly the best thing for our family.
Could you sit down together and draw up and a list of pros and cons about living in london and not living in london?