MSE Pregnancy Club 28

sweetilemon

Lulu have you been to antenatal classes with OH? This might be an idea so he's hearing it from a MW and not 'just' your word.

pigpen

lulu_92 wrote: »

That's what I said! The woman who refused to buy me a Christmas present because I'm pregnant (actually her words) does not care about me. She only texts me because she's on Crotch Watch. She only cares about these babies. Surely I would want to surround myself with people who care for me AND the babies?

You know the baby-novelty factor might not last long either.. what will his argument be then? They hit 3 months and no longer cuddly newborns but want to be up and looking around.. they become much less appealing when they steal your glasses and pull your hair and poke you in the eye!

If you tell the staff at the hospital you do not want anyone but your partner/mum visiting they will stick to it.. and will ignore anything he says. I'd be tempted to tell him he wouldnt be welcome if he could not respect your wishes .. but I am evil

Part of me really wants to have mine while we are away for the wedding at the end of May but that would mean his mother having the 3 girls and his crazy sister who OH is refusing to allow near the girls at the moment.. I couldnt cope with that.. I'd probably insist on the 2 hours drive back just so I didnt have to leve the girls with them even though it meant going to the horrible dirty hospital here.

euronorris

I'd also sign him up for the week by week updates from Emma's Diary or the like.


I've found reading them out loud to DH each week has helped him to feel more involved and also to understand that I'm not just making it up when I saw how achey/tired etc etc I am feeling.


This might be of help:


http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/you-after-birth.aspx

lulu_92

He does look at weekly updates, but only of how the babies are developing. I have been telling him for MONTHS that he needs to read about the changes to my body (this is the guy that thinks a baby belly goes instantly..) and how much my body goes through. I think he sees this emphasis on me as me being self centred when it's his baby too.

I've read him NHS stuff and he says "I knew that, but xyz can't be right, a baby feeding 12 times a day?"

He's coming with me to my consultant appt next week and I will be talking about birth just so OH hears it from a doctor.

lulu_92

sweetilemon wrote: »

Lulu have you been to antenatal classes with OH? This might be an idea so he's hearing it from a MW and not 'just' your word.

I've had no guidance on antenatal classes so not done any. Can't afford NCT and from the looks of it the course in my area started today.

sweetilemon

lulu_92 wrote: »

I've had no guidance on antenatal classes so not done any. Can't afford NCT and from the looks of it the course in my area started today.

I did the free NHS classes, OH was initially a bit unsure of being there but there was only one girl without a partner so it made him feel like he had a place there. I would say I could have gone into labour without them but they do state the obvious which sounds like your OH needs reminding of. Even if you've missed the first class I'd still say try to sign up! Just call your antenatal ward and ask. It might be because your not as far on but it's irrelevant if it's twins as they are likely to be early.

The Emmas diary/bounty updates are also good to read out, i've done that each week, he then might realise your not the only one!
Edit: missed the post above when I wrote this bit. Omg he sounds a tough nut to crack! Just sounds in complete denial, if not trying to control the situation by trying to convince you it's not happening...which it clearly is!!

tatabubbly

*delurking* Lulu, your OH needs a massive f-ing kick up the backside. Perhaps do some anti natal classes online, specifically the ones about the post partum period and feeding.

Sounds like a mamas boy who has no idea of his responsibilities to you and babies..

Make sure you take care of you right now and spend your maternity leave doing things that will solely benefit you.

euronorris

Yeah, with my area I just called the midwife led unit at my local hospital and booked myself in for our free NHS antenatal class.

If you're seeing midwife in the next few days, ask her about them. She should've told you about them to be honest, and given you an info sheet.

Your OH is definitely a hard nut to crack. How about getting him to ask his mum about how often babies feed? Surely she remembers and can at least set him straight on that one!

Other than that, I'd be tempted to point out that he's not an expert, he's had no training or experience so who is he to say that info from the actual experts is wrong?! But then, I'm still quite grumpy and ranty today! Lol

kroberts

sweetilemon wrote: »

I had a sweep this morning now frantically bouncing on my ball to get things moving haha. I've got an induction booked in for Monday morning, my due date. Hoping I'll go before then! Wasn't sure whether to refuse or not but don't want it to get too big to push! I'm not telling anyone (apart from OH obviously). Really hoping the sweep will work though.

Good luck hope it works

pigpen

Any luck sweet??? If you're not too busy of course

The inhabitant was not impressed with OH resting his arm on my tum this morning.. it wriggled a bit.. did a full 180 spin so it could kick at his arm.. definitely its sisters sibling this one, beating up OH already (it must have been listening to me complain about him haha)