MSE Pregnancy Club 28

pigpen

Lulu.. message for your OH ..

Mr Lulu.. I am currently pregnant with my 12th child.. the SHORTEST time I have bled after giving birth is 4 weeks.. but that was only after 1 (the 9th).. after most of them it was more than 8 weeks.. the first few days it was horrendous, uterine cramps with heavy loss and clots. With 1 I had stitches (down there) this makes it impossible to urinate without crying.. it is sore beyond belief .. and the internal bruising.. a skull being crushed through your pelvis causes a lot of bruising.. that took about 4 MONTHS to stop hurting.. think watermelon through a straw.. thats not an easy task!

If Lulu ends up with a section that will take at least a week before she can stand up straight.. for at least 24 hours she will have a catheter and sometimes a drain on the site too.. so a bag of urine and a bag of blood..She wouldnt be able to get in or out of bed without help, walking is agony, standing is agony and coughing and sneezing makes you think you have ripped yourself in two.. for WEEKS afterwards. However they get out she may need a blood transfusion... are these the kind of things you would want her family seeing if it was you??

Day 3-5 after givig birth.. Lulu will not stop crying.. it is a hormonal thing. she wont know why she is crying she just does.. go with it.. hug her, pass tissues but for the love of chickens do not ask her whats wrong.. nothing is wrong.

also about day 3-5 the boobies get milk.. this hurts.. a lot.. I've breastfed all mine.. it doesnt get any better and even if baby has bottles you still get milk and hurty boobs! .. whatever she wants.. get her it.. call it anyting for a peaceful life and it will settle down over the next 6 months.. yes, 6 months!

Visitors are not welcome willy-nilly.. other than it is rude to pop by unannounced especially those visitors who are high maintenance and want waiting on.. noone needs those. She might not even want to talk to you.. respect her feelings and take each day as it comes.. there will be good and bad days depending on sleep, food and the weather (pray for sunny days!)

A newborn wants feeding every hour through the night.. especially when breastfed as this is when the hormone is created in the greatest quantity to provide milk for the day.. so they wake at night.. Also keep in mind a new borns stomach is about as big as a walnut.. thats not a lot of milk.. it takes about 1 hour to empty and digest.. if you get longer than an hours sleep in one go.. rejoice! Learning to breastfeed is also very exposed.. she may not feel comfortable with all and sundry boggling at her naked, engorged, veiny leaking breasts.. give her time and patience. Hospitals have set visiting hours to avoid people being there when this nasty stuff is going on

Childbirth is exposing parts of your body to people you dont know who you have never seen in your life.. like showing your genitals to a random person you meet .. then letting them touch you there, put their hands in .. seriously.. you have no idea! She wont care at the time but afterwards you darent look anyone in the eye lol. .. And everyone who she sees for 2 weeks afterwards wants too look at the foof embroidery.

Listen to Lulu.. this is her dignity that is going to be discarded not yours. Above all she will be utterly exhausted and starving and need lots of rest to recover, internally, emotionally, hormonally.. stuff you cant necessarily see.

Having children is not about you, you don't do the hard work, you don't get exposed, your job is to support and love and respect and fetch food and drinks.. at least for the first few weeks.. hopefully healing will be quick but establishing a routine takes forever.

If you have other questions Mr Lulu I am more than happy to give you the very honest replies you wont get in a silly book!


Oh.. and make time for each other.. even if just a half hour here and there.. give her a hug, tell her shes doing great even on the days she wants to hide in the wardrobe.. if everyone makes it through the day.. it is a success!

lulu_92

pigpen wrote: »

Lulu.. message for your OH ..

Mr Lulu.. I am currently pregnant with my 12th child.. the SHORTEST time I have bled after giving birth is 4 weeks.. but that was only after 1 (the 9th).. after most of them it was more than 8 weeks.. the first few days it was horrendous, uterine cramps with heavy loss and clots. With 1 I had stitches (down there) this makes it impossible to urinate without crying.. it is sore beyond belief .. and the internal bruising.. a skull being crushed through your pelvis causes a lot of bruising.. that took about 4 MONTHS to stop hurting.. think watermelon through a straw.. thats not an easy task!

If Lulu ends up with a section that will take at least a week before she can stand up straight.. for at least 24 hours she will have a catheter and sometimes a drain on the site too.. so a bag of urine and a bag of blood..She wouldnt be able to get in or out of bed without help, walking is agony, standing is agony and coughing and sneezing makes you think you have ripped yourself in two.. for WEEKS afterwards. However they get out she may need a blood transfusion... are these the kind of things you would want her family seeing if it was you??

Day 3-5 after givig birth.. Lulu will not stop crying.. it is a hormonal thing. she wont know why she is crying she just does.. go with it.. hug her, pass tissues but for the love of chickens do not ask her whats wrong.. nothing is wrong.

also about day 3-5 the boobies get milk.. this hurts.. a lot.. I've breastfed all mine.. it doesnt get any better and even if baby has bottles you still get milk and hurty boobs! .. whatever she wants.. get her it.. call it anyting for a peaceful life and it will settle down over the next 6 months.. yes, 6 months!

Visitors are not welcome willy-nilly.. other than it is rude to pop by unannounced especially those visitors who are high maintenance and want waiting on.. noone needs those. She might not even want to talk to you.. respect her feelings and take each day as it comes.. there will be good and bad days depending on sleep, food and the weather (pray for sunny days!)

A newborn wants feeding every hour through the night.. especially when breastfed as this is when the hormone is created in the greatest quantity to provide milk for the day.. so they wake at night.. Also keep in mind a new borns stomach is about as big as a walnut.. thats not a lot of milk.. it takes about 1 hour to empty and digest.. if you get longer than an hours sleep in one go.. rejoice! Learning to breastfeed is also very exposed.. she may not feel comfortable with all and sundry boggling at her naked, engorged, veiny leaking breasts.. give her time and patience. Hospitals have set visiting hours to avoid people being there when this nasty stuff is going on

Childbirth is exposing parts of your body to people you dont know who you have never seen in your life.. like showing your genitals to a random person you meet .. then letting them touch you there, put their hands in .. seriously.. you have no idea! She wont care at the time but afterwards you darent look anyone in the eye lol. .. And everyone who she sees for 2 weeks afterwards wants too look at the foof embroidery.

Listen to Lulu.. this is her dignity that is going to be discarded not yours. Above all she will be utterly exhausted and starving and need lots of rest to recover, internally, emotionally, hormonally.. stuff you cant necessarily see.

Having children is not about you, you don't do the hard work, you don't get exposed, your job is to support and love and respect and fetch food and drinks.. at least for the first few weeks.. hopefully healing will be quick but establishing a routine takes forever.

If you have other questions Mr Lulu I am more than happy to give you the very honest replies you wont get in a silly book!


Oh.. and make time for each other.. even if just a half hour here and there.. give her a hug, tell her shes doing great even on the days she wants to hide in the wardrobe.. if everyone makes it through the day.. it is a success!

God, I love you pigpen!

This is perfect. Exactly what I want him to realise. I can give you a list of things he's said and you can write a book of responses, that I can throw at him when I get angry :rotfl::rotfl:

euronorris

Sorry to hear you guys are having a tough time of it.




Lulu, I think your OH could benefit from reading pigpen's message, as well as just looking this stuff up online! He doesn't really know anything does he? He's just guessing and assuming, so perhaps he should try researching first!


I had a ranty day yesterday. Lots of little things were annoying me. Spent most of my work day going through a load of paperwork for a client, trying to make sense of it all. Every time I thought I had everything sorted, I'd find another piece of paper relating to something new and different! Arghhhhh!!!


Feeling jealous of those of you on mat leave already, or soon to go on mat leave. At 25+5, I've still got 12 weeks and a day to go! Still, I'm not really suffering with anything so I should just be grateful for that really.


Sweetielemon, good luck at your appointment


My SIL is due on 22nd of this month. My bro said she'd had twinges the other day (it's her third), but no baby yet. The first one was a few days late, the second arrived exactly on his due date, so not sure when this little one will make an appearance. I'm just waiting patiently for news, as I know it'll get super annoying if everyone keeps asking them! lol


I'm soooo looking forward to the Easter weekend! An extra 2 days off! Wahooo!


Hugs to everyone who needs them! Oh, an toots, I'm glad the blurred vision has gone!


xx

kroberts

sweetilemon wrote: »

Koberts if your anything like me you'll soon get used to it. I still like to keep in touch and know what's going on but like not having to deal with it all!

Toots it's so good when you just count the days! It'll be here in no time.

I think my OH is desperate to start paternity, it's a real shame they only get 2 weeks but I wasn't giving up my time!

Pigpen your quite right, sounds like you had too much on and others had to pull their weight. Rice arguments is all you need when you feel rotten!

A trial run is exciting Littlemoog! I have been watching back to back one born every minute to get me in the mindset lol. Glad all is going well and your enjoying your mat leave.

I've got my consultant appointment this morning, not sure what to expect as it was booked for after my due date at the start of my pregnancy then got moved to today. If they offer me a sweep I think I'll accept but wary of an induction. Would love to go naturally! We'll see what they say.

Thanks, I'm sure I'll get into it but I do get bored easily haha!


I hope the consultant appointment goes well for you. Fingers crossed

kroberts

lulu_92 wrote: »

Kroberts I have two full weeks left and I can't wait to sleep!

Toots not long now, it will fly by!

Pigpen, wow it sounds like you're really against it at the moment. Try to take it easy and if more arguments about rice occur, just throw the pan at them!

Oooh how exciting Moog. I wish I could have a waterbirth but it wasn't even an option for me due to BMI. Oh well.

Fingers crossed things start moving sweetilemon! My friend had 3 or 4 sweeps in her pregnancy btw.

I'm hating everything at the moment. OH and I keep arguing as he doesn't see my point on anything. He thinks it's rude to not let people just pop in whenever they feel like and he thinks I'm being horrible by not letting his family visit in the hospital. I told him that newborns feed anything up to 12 times a day for up to 40 mins at a time and he refused to believe it (this is also the man that thinks it's not true how long a woman bleeds for aftr giving birth...) So I really feel up against it at the moment. I almost left last night as I'm so stressed, tired, and upset with everything. I'm not being supported at all and I feel that he is putting the feelings of everyone else above mine, and I don't think that's fair.

I really don't know what to do.

I can never really sleep in the day. Nights are ok at the moment apart from waking for the toilet, and if I go to bed early because I'm tired it just means I wake earlier in the morning and need to go to bed early again lol


I hope your OH realises what you need to go through soon.

pigpen

lulu_92 wrote: »

God, I love you pigpen!

This is perfect. Exactly what I want him to realise. I can give you a list of things he's said and you can write a book of responses, that I can throw at him when I get angry :rotfl::rotfl:

I'd love to.. the problem is to us the baby is real from that second line on the test.. men don't realise it is happening until they can see it, placed in their arms..

Just throw any old book at him.. if you aim it well he won't be conscious to read it anyway!

sweetilemon

Lulu I really feel for you, sounds like your OH is in a bit of denial! Hopefully he'll start getting it when the baby arrives, he's certainly in for a shock. That'll be a good 'I told you so' moment! If you have told him no visitors and he still insists I really would leave the room and go somewhere else. He'll soon get it.

I had a sweep this morning now frantically bouncing on my ball to get things moving haha. I've got an induction booked in for Monday morning, my due date. Hoping I'll go before then! Wasn't sure whether to refuse or not but don't want it to get too big to push! I'm not telling anyone (apart from OH obviously). Really hoping the sweep will work though.

lulu_92

Good Luck sweetilemon!

Thanks ladies. I just don't know what to do. At the moment it feels like as long as his family are happy it doesn't matter what happens to me.

Everything I tell him about birth and recovery he refuses to believe. I say I want to recover without visitors and then he says "well if you have a section you will NEED visitors to help you", not realising that if that were the case I would pick WHO would be helping me (i.e. my mother!).

I'm miserable and stressed. My heart rate is usually between 66 and 82 and today it's been 100 all day, so something is up.

pigpen

I have had 6 sections and have never ever had visitors help to do anything.. they don't even make tea.. they arent interested in you, they dont come to see you they come to see babies you're lucky if you get a hello!!

Can he see his mother putting a wash load in? Cooking you a meal? Or can he see her ignoring you and cooing over babies?

lulu_92

pigpen wrote: »

I have had 6 sections and have never ever had visitors help do anything.. they don't even make tea.. they arent interested in you, they dont come to see you they come to see babies you're lucky if you get a hello!!

Can he see his mother putting a wash load in? Cooking you a meal? Or can he see her ignoring you and cooing over babies?

That's what I said! The woman who refused to buy me a Christmas present because I'm pregnant (actually her words) does not care about me. She only texts me because she's on Crotch Watch. She only cares about these babies. Surely I would want to surround myself with people who care for me AND the babies?