12-24 weeks pregnant (part 3)

teaandcakeordeath

time2deal wrote: »

I know what you mean about not complaining. There are some things that are annoying me, but I don't want to complain, and I remember how deeply frustrating it was to see people complain when you are TTC. At the same time, the whole thing is different to how I expected and not exactly a bed of roses, but will be worth it in the end. Just keep that mantra up!!

Seriously couldn't have put this better myself! Instead of being all relaxed and swan like and radiant through pregnancy i feel like I swing from one extreme to the other. I really worry about my post baby life (I have no idea why- i am a social hermit), more work than anything. I worry that I'm not going to be maternal and that baby will hate me. I worry i might be an awful mum- I can barely remember to feed my cat never mind be responsible for a human! I read !!!!!! parents to remind myself that I don't want to be *that* kind of parent anyway and that's ok...

Lemon_Tree

tcod I think you've been reading my mind as well. I'm exactly the same and have all the same worries, exactly the same ones.


I think I've found some lovely fabric for the blinds in the baby's bedroom, but not sure whether to make roman blinds myself with just the fabric or whether to buy a roller blind (but means paying postage), decisions decisions.

time2deal

monty-doggy wrote: »

Also has anyone joined any local baby and toddler for sale or swap groups on fb? I've seen some amazing bargains locally!

How do you find those groups? My FB usage is a grandma level.

Actually recently I have found a bunch of new groups for ladies in similar situation to me - ie needing a cerclage, or TTC after cervical cancer surgery. It's been a revelation! And great support.

Not like you ladies though of course.

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

Seriously couldn't have put this better myself! Instead of being all relaxed and swan like and radiant through pregnancy i feel like I swing from one extreme to the other. I really worry about my post baby life (I have no idea why- i am a social hermit), more work than anything. I worry that I'm not going to be maternal and that baby will hate me. I worry i might be an awful mum- I can barely remember to feed my cat never mind be responsible for a human! I read !!!!!! parents to remind myself that I don't want to be *that* kind of parent anyway and that's ok...

I love !!!!!! parents. I've even managed to get DH to read it from time to time. I actually don't worry too much about post-baby life. I'm ready to change my life, including the big move home so I feel a bit more ready. Without being cliched, having cancer and 4 years TTC makes me think I can cope with anything life throws at me *touch wood*, and also since the cancer I've really changed my view of the world. Work is work, family/friends are more important, and stressing about things I can't change is a waste of the limited life we get. I also genuinely care much less about what other people think of me, which is something that I used to worry about ALL the time!

As an aside, I'm not sure if it's my change of attitude or his, but the last few years have massively strengthened my relationship. We are partners now in a way that we weren't fully before, and DH is surprising me everyday with his interest in the pregnancy and care of me. He has even starting putting dishes IN the dishwasher, and occasionally putting his empty wrappers away! Crazy times. :rotfl:

But seriously, it's also relaxed me knowing he will be a great dad, and a helpful husband. Feeling the love today.

But... quick returning to whinging - I seem to be nurturing a rapidly developing cold today. Not ideal!

monty-doggy

On fb in the search box where you would search for a name, type for sale or swap and then a huge list will come up, or type in baby items or a town name, by doing this all sorts of groups will come up!

There's even a uk page for selling and buying bugaboos!

teaandcakeordeath

T2D, I have the same reassurance about my OH. I know he's going to be a fantastic dad . Yesterday he was listening to my belly which made me all teary eyed. I don't worry about finances (i know we'll be permanently skint! ) and other people so much I just worry about not being me anymore. I think because it took so long to get here and I was so caught up in being the infertile me I don't quite know who I am anymore which sounds totally mental. I still get bitter at pregnant women for petes sake! Lol.

Btw, daisi, my mw mil says that feeling regular movements isn't really expected before 18-22 weeks in first pregnancy. Mainly because we don't know what we're feeling, because baby is very small with lots of room around it and also because the movements are quite sporadic and not properly coordinated yet- i think between 18-22 weeks all the brain neurons start making the pathways to coordinate moves. I can sometimes feel 'something' but no idea what. Yesterday with the cat on my belly was the first time i could say with about 75% confidence that movement wasn't me in some way. I'm 19+1 now so am quite impatient to feel something now!

credit_crunch

Evening ladies!
With regards to movement, I will be 23 weeks on Tuesday & I can honestly say I have only noticed movements being more regular over the last week or so. Usually mid morning around 11am & then at bedtime when I am lying flat in bed!

I have started to buy a few things, pram order (my mum is paying) bought nursery furniture (bargain in gumtree), few boxes of nappies & wipes & tonight I've just 'own' a breast pump on eBay - manual & brand new for £14.

Might nip to asda to get another box of nappies & maybe the microwave steriliser in the baby event.

I too am trying to spread the cost b4 baby arrives, as my pay will go from £1250 to approx £500/£600 :eek:

credit_crunch

Ooh and daisie are you using oil on your tummy?
I'm using johnsons baby oil + camomile at least once a day on my tummy, thighs & bum.

Whattodonow

Thank you Daisiegg, T2D, lilmiss, et al.

I can't even pinpoint what I'm stressing about. It's not about the baby, weirdly enough. I'm fine with all that. It just seems there's so much hormones in my system my body can't control it anymore. Will take each day as it comes and mention it to the MW next time I see her if I still feel the same. Doesn't help that when I google 'stress' 'pregnancy' it brings up pages of research saying it effects children in their later life. Argh! Google!

There's also some family history, but not myself so much - although I've always felt on the edge of it, if you know what I mean. I know I'm a worrier.

TCD I can't believe you are 19 weeks already!

My OH is also being amazing. He is totally looking after me, reading all the stuff I email him, and mostly just putting up with me very patiently because I know I have been a total PITA through all of this. I got through IVF like a breeze, pregnancy I ain't!

teaandcakeordeath

Lol- neither can I! I think for me the reason I'm finding pregnancy hard is because the getting here was such a pita and I honestly thought that would be the most stressful part over. Turns out that the getting here part wasn't that difficult as least in some respects there was a tiny element of control or I felt like I was 'doing something' towards the end goal. Now I just feel like i'm along for the ride with no modicum of control and the worries are completely different. Ttc was a known quantity but this is like a rollercoaster in the dark! Definitely talk to your mw though and step away from google!

monty-doggy

I think we all worry in one way or another. I've been stressing today that I've stopped feeling sick and no symptoms now other than I look pregnant! I'm 13+2 approx and scan on Thursday, I am feeling terrible for buying things already just in case.
I have also been thinking that they can't just let me leave the hospital with a baby what if I do something wrong?
And I don't want anyone to carry the baby up and down stairs in case they fall. Only me. And even then I'll be over cautious!

I've been inspecting my skin, and I'm starting using bio oil from today, just hope I remember each day. I'm prone to stretch marks so prob won't make much difference!