12-24 weeks pregnant (part 3)

time2deal

Hi ladies,
I've not been ignoring you, just lots of admin to worry about!

I have come into work today but I managed to speak to the midwife. She was a bit clearer and said they are worried about me, but not worried enough yet to put me on bedrest. The fact that my cervix has been stable is a very good sign, and on the balance of probabilities I won't deliver in the next few weeks. Therefore in these cases they just prescribe progesterone and 'taking it easy'.

However, she did say that if I can then take do some work from home. And to get myself organised and ready for bedrest in a few weeks if things change at all. Including stuff like arranging to see friends as mental health is a big issue with bedrest. I admit I really struggled at the end of my recovery period from the surgery, so I'm really not looking forward to days and days (weeks and weeks!) staring at the same four walls.

However, needs must. I would never forgive myself if I could have helped and didn't. I will speak to my boss about 1-2 days a week at home, and prepare him for me going on bedrest quite soon. I hate these conversations... and I hate how often I have to have them. Stupid body!!!!!!

I've also emailed my surgeon and he normally reviews his emails in the evening. I'll see what he says.

daisiegg

Forgive me if this is a stupid question but does bed rest literally mean staying in bed all day? Can you use the bathroom? What about transferring to the sofa part of the day? Can you get up for long enough to make a cup of tea or is it absolutely horizontal the whole time? I agree, it does sound enough to drive you mad BUT as you say it is a finite time and baby is the most important thing!

I am glad you are ok, I was a bit worried.

I'm sure your boss will understand. It sounds from things you have said before like your workplace have been understanding in the past, no reason for that to change now.

time2deal

There are levels of bedrest. First is 'modified' bedrest, which means spend as much time as you can in bed or on the sofa lying down (ie. not sitting) but you can get up and do a few things, make some dinner, have a shower etc.

Then you have full home bedrest, where you can get up for a wee etc, and a shower a few times a week but that is all. Hospital bedrest is catheter, bedpans and bedwashes. You can also be put in 'trendelenburg position' which is like being on see saw, with your head below your feet. (Thanks US rubbish TV for that little gem!).

I'm not even on modified bedrest yet, so still a long way to go.

SewIt_2

Glad you got some clarity T2D - even if its not 100% what you wanted to hear. Remember that we'll all be here with you, even if it is 'virtually'! I'm sure your work will understand, although I appreciate how you feel with having another thing to discuss with your boss. I felt the same after the IVF not working, then working, then the bleeding, then all the extra hospital appointments. I know you have been though so much, and its just like 'why can't this bit just be normal'!! Hugs to you lovely lady xx

Ali - they don't listen to the heartbeat up here until your 20 week scan. We were 'lucky' that we got to hear it at the foetal medicine unit at 11 weeks (167 BPM!), but at my 16 week appointment, they said it was far too early and they probably wouldn't be able to hear it. Its so different all over the country though.

wendz86

T2D - glad you have a bit more clarity. Definitely do what you think is best but does sound like they are very positive and not too worried yet.

I heard heartbeat at 16 weeks last time so hoping for same this time.

Freebie - your LO sounds like he is doing great!

time2deal

Arrgh. I wrote to my surgeon (who looks after many TAC pregnancies). His words "Stop working.. these next few weeks are crucial".

Here goes a hard conversation.

daisiegg

time2deal wrote: »

Arrgh. I wrote to my surgeon (who looks after many TAC pregnancies). His words "Stop working.. these next few weeks are crucial".

Here goes a hard conversation.

Right well at least you have a definite answer. I think that sounds right even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you be on sick leave for the next few weeks and then take early maternity from whenever is the earliest we can take it...I think 28 weeks? Or does that mess up your money situation too much? I had a colleague who had IVF twins in March and she was signed off all through her pregnancy and took maternity leave at the earliest time, so she didn't feel so bad about being off sick. There wasn't even really anything wrong with her she was just very tired (as I can imagine with twins!) and I think it being a much waited for IVF pregnancy did not want to take any risks.

I hope the conversation with work goes ok. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to worry - you know you have to take medical advice and do what is best for you and baby.

Sending hugs x

time2deal

I can work from home I think. I can't face months of zero brain activity so I will ask to continue to work.

Daisie - I now realise how easy it was for us to say 'take sick leave' before, but it's so much harder when its you and you know who is impacted!

I'm already leaving for mat leave in 8 weeks which is the earlier allowed really. Financially we can cope, but the dream of a year off and a relaxed first few months in Australia may not be so achievable. Hubby will just have to find a job in Oz sooner than he thinks!!

monty-doggy

T2D I am glad you have an answer.

I know you will feel bored but get lots of books and box sets to watch. Have you got Netflix or love film? Might be worth getting a month or two on one of those, that's what I did when I was on bed rest for three months! I watched downtown abbey season 1-3 three times! You find yourself sleeping more anyway, it's like your body knows you need the rest.

Sending you positive vibes for your awful conversation xxx

daisiegg

time2deal wrote: »

Daisie - I now realise how easy it was for us to say 'take sick leave' before, but it's so much harder when its you and you know who is impacted!

Haha definitely! It is hard. But looking back I am glad I took the time I did (as encouraged by all of you ) and you will be too. Or look at it the other way...you would never forgive yourself if you kept working and,god forbid, the worst happened.