12-24 weeks pregnant (part 3)

monty-doggy

Peonie it was the thread how to let her down without actually letting her down x

lilmissreading

My lord

Not been on since 23rd. Just had enough time to catch up but much more to say later!

Monty doggy - what a b*tch that woman is.

tcod - NHS and sole wage earner here too.

Peonie - also good for mattresses and recommended by someone on here https://www.online4baby.com/

That's the headlines, more later!

cmace2

I've done it!! I've introduced myself in the next group so I will be leaving this one. I'm still a lurker of all three groups though so I will still be up to date with you all . Hope to see you all there soon!

Can someone remove me on the next list update please? I know if I do it I will mess up the colours! Thank you

time2deal

Well done cmace. Its a big scary step.

Liissreading, did I see that you are leaving us too? Although these threads do seem a little more active to be honest.

lilmissreading

time2deal wrote: »

Well done cmace. Its a big scary step.

Liissreading, did I see that you are leaving us too? Although these threads do seem a little more active to be honest.

Not me, lilmissup is graduating! I am a mere 16+2 so here for a good while yet.

Speaking of which had out 16 week appointment yesterday and got to hear the baby's heartbeat. Usual panic leading up to it that there wouldn't be a heartbeat but she squeezed my tummy, was pleased with size of my uterus (first time I've had that compliment!) and she was just explaining that it's hard to find the heartbeat when she was interrupted by the heartbeat! Millimetre then started kicking.

Was worried as just got back from Barcelona on Monday and my friend had food poisoning and I didn't. While I could have thought it was due to my increased caution, I equally figured I wasn't having any symptoms because it had all gone straight to the baby. Tut.

The mw was trying to persuade me to the mw led birth centre until I said I was hoping for a home birth at which point her eyes lit up and she nabbed me off the other mw's caseload! The one first allocated to me end of Feb had transferred areas but I'd only met her once so no worries.

Disturbingly I either ate A LOT (true) in Barcelona or I am actually popping now. One thing that's true is that I can't suck it in anymore - however I still look like I've eaten too much rather than pg!

lilmissreading

daisiegg wrote: »

I know I said now I have a reason for the blood I would not worry...but it is still horrid waking up and seeing blood! makes me irrational and I immediately start thinking ' well I know baby was ok at 11.30am yesterday but I don't know he's ok now'! Stupid. They told me I might get more and only to go back if it is heavy, which it is not. But still. I wish I had a personal ultrasound suite so I could check on baby every time I see blood!

Sorry to freak you out, time2deal. I suppose some comfort can be found in the fact that my situation signals that not all late bleeding indicates doom. What is probably less comforting is how much of a fuss I am making! Sorry

Daisiegg - so sorry to hear about all that stress and worry. Sounds completely hideous. I am so glad there is a reason for it and one that can be managed. Glad to hear your mw was understanding. Are you allowed to change hospital or is the distance too great? Do you know if there is a chance that your local will be full anyway and you'll be sent to another one (sorry not helpful perhaps and I am not basing this on evidence, just hearsay).

daisiegg

lilmissreading wrote: »

Daisiegg - so sorry to hear about all that stress and worry. Sounds completely hideous. I am so glad there is a reason for it and one that can be managed. Glad to hear your mw was understanding. Are you allowed to change hospital or is the distance too great? Do you know if there is a chance that your local will be full anyway and you'll be sent to another one (sorry not helpful perhaps and I am not basing this on evidence, just hearsay).

Thanks for the message. No, I don't think I can change hospital. There is no other hospital less than an hour away. I haven't heard of anyone being turned away from my hospital but in the midwife led unit there are only three rooms so I am fully prepared to have to go to the labour ward if they are already in use. I know lots of people who have given birth there and everyone seems to think the labour experience is much better than the EPU so I am hoping that is true.

Ladies, I need advice. I told work I would be back in on Friday this week. The nurse yesterday at the EPU was not particularly helpful and basically said do as much as you feel like doing. I am still bleeding and though I know the reason now it is still scary and unpleasant. I have been doing lots of reading online and it seems most people who have bleeding at this stage due to low lying placenta get told to REST lots, but the nurse (note nurse, not midwife or doctor) just said do as much as I feel able.

I already feel really stressed and tearful about going back to work. I know loads of people have busy, stressful jobs and manage just fine. But I really don't stop for a second at work and I am never in the same classroom two lessons in a row so I am rushing around up and down three flights of stairs, carrying boxes and bags of books (often 30 exercise books and 30 copies of a Shakespeare play, for example, plus my own personal belongings), I am on my feet the whole time, don't get a chance to stop at break or lunchtime as there are duties, meetings, revision sessions etc. The thought of doing it while I am worrying about bleeding ( even though I know there is a reason it doesn't make it nice or less worrying!) makes me want to curl in a ball and hide

Anyway my mum suggested I get signed off work for another week or so to see how the bleeding goes and if it stops. It is really tempting but then of course there is the huge guilt - particularly at this time with exams coming up. I know pregnant ladies are very well protected and can't get in trouble for being off sick while pregnant, and besides, I won't go back after maternity leave anyway. One of my colleagues who is currently on maternity leave was signed off for her entire pregnancy to rest as she was pregnant with twins via IVF. She didn't even have any bleeding or issues she just wanted to be able to rest! I am not talking about packing it in for the rest of the pregnancy but just seeing how things go for the next week.

Anyway that turned into an essay!

What so you think?

Part of me feels like I should suck it up, pull myself together and go back on Friday. And if I have stopped bleeding by then I will feel fine doing that but as it stands I really don't feel good about it

Advice would be very appreciated!

lilmissreading

Financial hoo-ha from me. I am sole wage earner in NHS, DH is finishing his undergrad degree in June. He will get a job when he can (sooner hopefully) and will then start teacher training in September 2015. The minor complication is he will be doing a 6 week unpaid teacher training course over the summer away from home. It's not the money so much as being left alone. I have NO idea how single parents do it. Much respect. So my expectation is:

5/10-30/11 1-8weeks Full pay
1/12-5/4 9-26 weeks 1/2 pay and SMP
6/4-5/7 27-39 weeks SMP
6/7-6/9 40-48 weeks annual leave full pay

This means I can cover mortgage and household bills through out. We will use his wage for petrol, groceries and other sundries. We also live in a town house over 4 floors, so we are hoping to rent out the basement room to a lodger. With regards to childcare, we also have an attic room that we might put an au pair in but all seems a bit misty. Neither side of the family have offered childcare yet but are massively excited. We just haven't had a chance to chat if it fits with their life commitments.

I hope to go back 3.5-4 days and we think this will mean I can continue to manage mortgage, household bills and other expenses like petrol and groceries. If the lodger/au pair thing works out we hope the lodger will pay for the au pair. Then we have DH's wage for childcare and luxuries.

Sure there is something we haven't considered but hey. Looking at the dates I already know I don't want to leave it 7 days before my due date! DH can't understand why not. I narrowed my eyes and said if he thought I was tired now what about when there is a MASSIVE bump.

I know for sure that I need to check whether I take my annual leave at the beginning or end. I will have my full 27 days to take this financial year and then will want to take about 3 weeks-ish post March 2015. I am lucky tcod my managers are both totally lovely so their discretion can be relied upon. I have helpfully also heard them advise the other lady further on in pg. I think there is a restriction on taking annual leave as if you take it at the end there is some confusion about how it counts as return to work and the unpaid bit before as unpaid leave rather than mat leave but I will find out more nearer the time.

monty-doggy

Daisyegg I'd take another week off work, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't and you make your symptoms worse. They can cover you, and right now you and your baby are priority.

Sounds to me like after all the stress and anxiety you've had, a weeks rest will do you the world of good x

lilmissreading

daisiegg wrote: »

Thanks for the message. No, I don't think I can change hospital. There is no other hospital less than an hour away. I haven't heard of anyone being turned away from my hospital but in the midwife led unit there are only three rooms so I am fully prepared to have to go to the labour ward if they are already in use. I know lots of people who have given birth there and everyone seems to think the labour experience is much better than the EPU so I am hoping that is true.

Ladies, I need advice. I told work I would be back in on Friday this week. The nurse yesterday at the EPU was not particularly helpful and basically said do as much as you feel like doing. I am still bleeding and though I know the reason now it is still scary and unpleasant. I have been doing lots of reading online and it seems most people who have bleeding at this stage due to low lying placenta get told to REST lots, but the nurse (note nurse, not midwife or doctor) just said do as much as I feel able.

I already feel really stressed and tearful about going back to work. I know loads of people have busy, stressful jobs and manage just fine. But I really don't stop for a second at work and I am never in the same classroom two lessons in a row so I am rushing around up and down three flights of stairs, carrying boxes and bags of books (often 30 exercise books and 30 copies of a Shakespeare play, for example, plus my own personal belongings), I am on my feet the whole time, don't get a chance to stop at break or lunchtime as there are duties, meetings, revision sessions etc. The thought of doing it while I am worrying about bleeding ( even though I know there is a reason it doesn't make it nice or less worrying!) makes me want to curl in a ball and hide

Anyway my mum suggested I get signed off work for another week or so to see how the bleeding goes and if it stops. It is really tempting but then of course there is the huge guilt - particularly at this time with exams coming up. I know pregnant ladies are very well protected and can't get in trouble for being off sick while pregnant, and besides, I won't go back after maternity leave anyway. One of my colleagues who is currently on maternity leave was signed off for her entire pregnancy to rest as she was pregnant with twins via IVF. She didn't even have any bleeding or issues she just wanted to be able to rest! I am not talking about packing it in for the rest of the pregnancy but just seeing how things go for the next week.

Anyway that turned into an essay!

What so you think?

Part of me feels like I should suck it up, pull myself together and go back on Friday. And if I have stopped bleeding by then I will feel fine doing that but as it stands I really don't feel good about it

Advice would be very appreciated!

Depends what you mean by 'rest'. If you mean bed rest Emily Oster would say you are a lunatic and it may even be harmful to your sanity!

If however you mean having a week of gentle walking, getting some beauty treatments like your nails or hair done, catching up on admin, shopping, going for lunch/tea/coffee, catching up with friends in the interests of not stressing yourself out physically and emotionally, reading and so on, I say rock on. From all accounts motherhood comes with guilt so you might as well get used to it!

My friend worked over 12 hour days in the City and had regular overseas trips which if they coincided with weekends, she was expected to be back in the office on Monday regardless. She had 6 months off and returned. Within about 6 months of returning to work she was pg again and followed the same pattern but with a 90 minute commute each way.

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE MANAGES THIS.

Yes, some people can and do manage these kinds of crazy schedules. Do you know what? I can't. I was lucky that I had some left over leave and did a lot of 4 days weeks in Feb and March, plus the recent bank holidays have helped. I do 9-5 and some days that's too much. This is our first child and there are no step children or pets requiring my attention. And I have STILL found it hard.

If I was bleeding I would want to take some extra time to recover physically and emotionally.