The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

Parents have to post cr.ap like that to try and convince themselves...otherwise they might realise they've spent all of December paying over the odds for noisy plastic tat, that they'll have to wake up at 3am on Christmas day and that they have to sit through endless school Christmas plays with groups of 5 yr olds playing recorder.

That's good. I might upload a video on facebook of me and DH sleeping for 8 hours uninterrupted.:D

skaps

Lol codemonkey

tea_lover

codemonkey wrote: »

That's good. I might upload a video on facebook of me and DH sleeping for 8 hours uninterrupted.:D

Then having a cocktail

vesper

I hate Christmas, this year I don't even get to see my OH at all for two days over xmas and then he's back at work so I won't see him properly at all over the xmas period.
Xmas day this year is just me, mum and dad. There just doesn't seem any point this year.


Have just been informed that hubby gets private health care in his job from February. It even includes IVF!! But we have to wait two years for that bit to be included, but it will be. Am very surprised to be honest that that is included, but apparently he has checked and it is. That's very good as in our county we only get one go on the NHS.


He's just been promoted at work but the pay doesn't kick in until Feb, but for the first time ever we will be ok for money. But they have also offered him the same job but on nights, which will be even better wage and will mean we won't have to worry about money at all. It would mean finally we would earn more than what we need to live. I am so proud of him right now.
Seems that finally we have got a bit of good news after 2 years of hell.

skaps

Good to hear that vesper. Glad things are going into the right direction.

pinkteapot

vesper - that is FAB news - I've never heard of medical insurance that includes IVF before. What an amazing work benefit!

pinkteapot

Oh, and there are some interesting articles on the impact of social media on mental health. The constant bombardment of "my life is better than yours" messages.

Been wondering lately if there's something in it. I see posts of people on nights out and feel jealous as I don't do that much these days. Then I remember back to drunken nights out and never had a great love for them anyway!

Am consciously trying to check FB/Twitter less - in a very bad habit of flicking on my phone whenever I'm sitting around.

Choc-addict

Hello,

I hope you don't mind me popping in. I think I may have posted on here for support at some point previously but I guess now I am at a real need for support going forward.

We're coming up 3 years ttc no 1 ....unexlained infertility.... not a hint of pregnancy at all. Have had every test under sun right up to laparoscopy March this year and again nothing found apart from simple cyst on right ovary but docs said this would not affect chances. It was removed.

Anyhow, we're at IVF stage. Had first appt early nov and advised our best chance was IVF with 40% chance for our ages and situation (i'm 36, hubby 35). We're having to pay privately as don't qualify for IVF under NHS locally due to age criteria...have to be 34 or under when starting treatment

I just wonder how people felt making the decision to go for 1st treatment. Hubby and I seem to be in a whirlwind of emotions and it seems we're both extemely stressed since our first appt rather than relieved. I'm scared how I will cope (we will cope) if it doesn't work first time round. The emotional side of this three years on is knocking us for six.

We're surrounded (like most of you) with people having babies and announcing pregnancies...infact this saturday at friends. Invited for lunch with them and their little one as just moved and they announced preg with their second. I wanted the ground to swallow me up and practically choked/threw up my lamb that I was eating.

Part of me is so angry I just shut everyone out and think i'll just get off this train and find new adventures. Then an hour later i'm on board the IVF....I feel like a yoyo going up and down

Anyway, after all my waffling I guess i'm just introducing myself again as of all the websites and forums I lurk/read I find this is the most helpful from a distance and find myself more moved by others support here.

Choc xx

pinkteapot

Choc - my first cycle finished in mid-September. I also found the whole thing incredibly stressful, both before-hand and during.

First thing to say is, don't get more stressed by all the "you must relax" advice that you'll see. Studies have shown that stress levels actually don't make a difference to the success rate. Don't worry during treatment that the way you're feeling will affect it.

I'm not going to lie - the BFN was really hard just because I found the treatment hard, so to go through it for nothing was devastating (plus, you've got the comedown of coming off very strong drugs which doesn't help the mood!). I'd always been very realistic about the odds - failure is more likely than success - that's the reality - it's a lottery and you hope you're a winner. But, as bad as a BFN is, you will get through it.

I wasn't keen to do IVF because any drugs that affect my hormones have always affected me very badly emotionally. However, I know I would have regretted it if we'd never tried it. To be honest, I don't think we'll do it again, but I'm glad we tried or I always would have wondered what would have happened. Or wondered if I could have handled it after all.

We're three years unexplained too (almost 3.5 now). I know how draining it is. I burst into tears watching Life Story the other night because David Attenborough made some comment about the creation of the next generation being the ultimate success measure in nature! DH had to tell me that didn't apply to humans.

Choc-addict

Thanks Pinkteapot - it's nice to read someones account of the situation. Although obviously I would have preferred a different outcome for you!

Today i've talked myself in and out of IVF so much that I feel exhausted and managed to do that all by myself - no hope for me!

I think at earliest we'll start treatment Feb/Mar next year and i'm secretly hoping (as always!) that a magical baby may appear in between.

Thanks again for the advice/letting me know your experience. xx