The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

pinkteapot

Hi clever - not a full response but just one quick point. I think it's normally recommended that you DTD every other day (not every day), as his swimmers take a little while to regenerate afterwards. I don't think there's a huge benefit to doing it daily.

I use ov. tests and the main thing is to make absolutely sure you do it within 24-36 hours of the strongest result. Beyond that, we make sure we do it every other day during the week or so around my usual ov. date.

Then again, we're three years and unexplained so maybe I shouldn't be giving advice. :rotfl:

Whatever you do, even with just relaxing, the TTC thing still totally kills the mood!

emmaj30

Hi
I would say the best idea is to relax clevernamehere.. Like you Mrs vicx we also lost our much wanted bean after 7 weeks.. I was so happy to actually conceive and it seems like a nightmare what happened. After waiting all those years I found out I was pregnant the day before I was meant to go and learn how to use the injection kit and get my drugs. I think the key thing is to relax and who knows what will happen. Another thing I found was that for all those negative months I thought I had every symptom under the sun of pregnancy. When it came along I had none until I did the pregnancy test!! Wishing you good luck in the world for the futurexxxx

Clevernamehere

Thanks Ladies.
mrsvicx and emma, I can't even begin to imagine how hard it was for you to lose your pregnancies. It seems especially cruel after trying for so long. I really hope things work out for you.
Pinkteapot I've tried to explain to OH about the every other day thing but it doesn't seem to compute. When I asked him to read various "getting pregnant" books, he skim read them and only really focused on the bit about sperm testing. I figure if we aim for every day, realistically it means we do it every other day! I sometimes think it would be easier with a turkey baster!

I think the problem is I'm not really a "just relax" sort of person. I'm always planning something or other. However, I've been doing a bit of yoga since my surgery and I've tried to cut back on my work hours a bit. I would try reflexology but I really hate people touching my feet!

picklekin

I would recommend something in the middle if I were you, I don't temp, I don't do the CBFM however I DO POAS using cheapie OV tests. This reassures me that I have OV'd and tells me when I should expect AF. The few months I've not bothered and then been "late" but get a BFN are far more painful then just knowing in advance you OVd late.

I don't want to knock things that have worked for anyone else, but there really are a million and one people out there trying to make money from our pain at not being able to get pregnant, it makes me so angry and sad. They want to sell reflexology, acupuncture, strange vitamins etc to us for a small fortune because we all hope it will be "the fix" but I don't think it will. If things help you relax, that's another thing, for my IVF I'll be spending the 3.99 on the meditation for IVF CD off Amazon, it seems an OK expense for me and I'll have that "I'm doing something" feeling. Yoga sounds like a good idea too!

ETA - we try for every other day too, sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less, but I try and let OH take the imitative unless its nearing 3 days and I get that "OMG we are missing it" feeling.

pinkteapot

Agree completely with pickle - it's the POAS tests that I use too. Since I started using them, I have noticed that on the day I get a strong line, I have a very, very slight twinge in one side or the other, which I've never noticed before. Most months now I spot that, and know what the stick is going to say before even doing the test!

Relax as far as you can (for you). And try not to feel too much pressure to DTD every day. There's a window where the egg can be fertilised, and it is a bit more than a single day, or the human race would have been extinct long ago! You're highly unlikely to 'miss it' if you miss a day.

I'm a total planner/organiser too so I do fully understand what you mean about not relaxing!

picklekin

The month it "worked" for us we only did it twice!!

tea_lover

I can only dream of a month where we do it twice... there is a SEVERE drought in chez tea

picklekin

Hehe, lucky!

tea_lover

I'm not sure I even remember how to do it!

picklekin

Oh I miss read you, I thought you meant twice WAS a drought.... Is this on yours or your OH's part?