The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

picklekin

Ack FP, I'm sorry, will keep everything crossed for you that AF stays away for good this time.

vesper

tea_lover wrote: »

Sorry to delurk to be stroppy but I think that's really unfair. Everyone has a limit of what they'd be prepared to do and code's OH is just as entitled to have a cut-off point as the rest of us.

I won't say anymore as I really don't want to start an argument but that really riled me!

I did say don't take it the wrong way. And this is why I hate the internet, its just impossible to get across what I mean without seeing someone face to face. This is why I hate this so much.


I just meant I think it's unfair to shut the door permently on that idea, it is something that needs to take time to discuss. Not just give up.


Think it's time I left this forum, as it isn't the right place any more to discuss things if you have a personal opinion.
Thank you for all of your help in the past.

SewIt_2

So sorry Frozen - really hoping its just a shy one and that Thursday brings better news.:(

Part_Mouse

FP so sorry its a BFN Im praying Thursday brings better news.

Code huge hugs to you.

lisawood78

My OH really doesn't wish to use donor products either, and that seems to be one of our next options , so we are almost done also I guess.

So sorry FP and hugs, also to you Code. This whole situation is horrendous on all who undertake the journey.

Thinking of all of us today x

Part_Mouse

Lisa huge hugs to you, such an awful journey for all to be on.

codemonkey

Oh for goodness sake, I didn't mean to start an argument. Come back vesper (i dont think you were insensitive) and I'll explain where we're at as its such an unusual circumstance.

First of all, we have absolutely no sperm to work with. DH has a condition called Klinefelters which means while he was happily developing in the womb his body synthesised a hormone to stop production of the sex organs. Although he looks normal and everything seems to work normally, he has no vas deferens and no sperm. They could try going in for them surgically but there's a less than 5% chance of sperm and a high risk of castrating him. Its not like we'll ever get that miracle BFP. So our options as a couple are sperm donation and/or adoption. Sadly for me DH is unwilling to consider these. As far as he's concerned if its not his biological child he's happy to plod along in a childfree existence. This may be an odd way of thinking but its where he's at and he won't change his mind. I've asked him to attend an adoption open day and he won't. So we've agreed to review the situation in a few years.

So my options are to accept his limitations (as much as they might suck and be frustrating for me) or leave him and hope that I find another man willing to put up with me and that this man is fertile, all before I hit the menopause, or leave him and use donor sperm by myself. And as annoying and frustrating as he is, I do love him and I don't want to end our otherwise good marriage. As much as I don't want it to be the case, each couple has a stopping point and this is ours.

Pinkteapot - I'm sorry about the BFN. I'm holding out hope for a shy one. Would you like some chocolate?

Angel - it was not only on a cake but the cake was coloured blue inside to show they were having a boy. I find that weird. I mean, cake is always good but using a cake to announce your pregnancy and the sex of the baby...I find that a bit OTT really.

vesper

I was insensitive code. And I am very very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings let alone yours. I know this sounds weird but on here we form funny connections, not like being friends as such, but something along those lines.
It just hurt me so much to think you don't have the option to have children.


Sorry I am just finding things too difficult at the moment, I have a lot on my plate at the moment, including a bad period with my business (its normally bad at this time of year), no money, no child, depression that keeps looming its ugly head, and presently not 100% certain if we have a home for much longer. And that's without the normal ttc bits. I want to have a break but know now that there's no getting away from the tests etc without having problems with restarting them. If its this hard now, I can not see how I am going to cope when we need further help.


I know its not an excuse, but again I am truly sorry code.

pinkteapot

Hey code - it wasn't me with a BFN. Well, I get one every single month but I haven't had an important treatment-related one. Comment was for frozenpenguin I think?

Speaking of which, I'm so sorry fp - with everyone else, I'm hoping it's a shy one too. x

AFM, just spoke to the IVF clinic. At my pre-treatment consultation I didn't think to question the fact I was getting jabby down-reg drugs. Just phoned to ask why I can't have the nasal spray instead and they said of course I can! Apparently it's just a different way of administering and both are equally effective. She's switched me to nasal spray, so I'll only have to jab for the stimulation part. Hopefully that'll mean less bruising as only 2-3 weeks of once-a-day jabs.

Got two monthly cycles left before we start IVF. Two last chances for DTD to work. #desperate :rotfl:

Whattodonow

sorry FP. Hoping its a shy one too xx