The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Part_Mouse

Mrs vicx glad to hear your feeling better, hugs to you.

FP ive got everything crossed for tommorowe for you.

gettingthereslowly

Picklekin - Hope all goe ok for DH tom and you can go away!


PM - Sounds very ouch! I was injecting in tummy and by the end of the 3 weeks was very sore. Hope you get a well deserved follie (come on ovaries!)


Frozen - Keeping my fingers crossed for you and no worrying about the lists! Really hope its good news in the morning.


Thanks for all the extra hugs. We are both ok and just waiting for our followup appoint now.


Hope everyone is ok xx

Part_Mouse

Gts thanks, I don't 'feel' like much is happening. Will have to wait and see what next scan brings.Ovaries if your listeing please WAKE UP.

angeltreats

Hi ladies

I really hope you don't mind me popping in, but I'm after a bit of advice.

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow and I think people are starting to suspect anyway. While I don't plan to make any big announcement at work, there are a couple of people I want to tell and word is going to get round sooner rather than later. There are two girls at work who have been struggling with TTC and I desperately want them to not have to deal while they're in the office surrounded by people with the news that yet another person is pregnant, and have to paste on a happy face before going to bawl in the loo, as I used to have to do myself. I haven't forgotten how hard this journey is, and I will never ever forget, so really want to avoid making these girls feel bad.

One has had two failed rounds of IVF and has been told there's no point in bothering with a third, so they are trying to come to terms with this and are looking at adoption. She has had a very hard time and has been very depressed, unsurprisingly. I know this girl quite well and am quite friendly with her, so I thought the best thing to do is a private message via FB at a time I know she'll be at home and can read it in peace. Is this better than speaking to her face to face, to give her time to have a little cry etc if she needs to without having to try to look pleased for me?

The other girl I don't know so well and I only know about her fertility issues on the grapevine, but I know the problems they have are very similar to Code's and it's unlikely that this will happen for them without a donor/adoption. I don't think I know her well enough to speak to her privately or send her an email etc, especially as she's never told me herself. However we have the same manager (a bloke but a truly lovely one) who knows about her problems and also knew about mine and was very supportive. Would it be a good idea to ask the manager to take her aside and just give her a heads up before word starts getting round, but not let on that I'd asked him to do it?

Again I truly hope you don't mind me coming back for advice, but I just really want to be as sensitive as I can and as I will never forget how I felt during the constant pregnancy announcements at work and how difficult it was not to just crumple, I want to do the right thing. Also sorry this is so long!

I still lurk here regularly in the hope that all you ladies will get the families you deserve, whether it's a BFP or another way. Sending very much love to you all x

picklekin

Hi Angel, nice to hear from you and I'm glad to hear things are going well for you

I think it shows how kind you are that you want to spare these women the hurt, but in the end its going to hurt a bit however they find out. The FB message is a nice idea because you are already friends with her and know her issues so you can be open about it, the other woman I would just let find out normally. Try not to worry about it, its your time to be happy and enjoy your pregnancy.

codemonkey

I think the facebok thing is a good idea - but don't mention her fertity issues. I'd make out like you wanted to tell her before everyone else. As for the other, I'd be mortified if a manager took me aside like that. I'd assume that it was because they expected me to make a scene. Babies happen (although sadly not to me) and we infertiles can't hide from it. Just you know, don't announce it on a cringy cake the way someone ony Facebook feed did.

Also FP, can you please remove me from the list. DH doesn't want to pursue donor sperm or adoption so I guess our options are well and truly considered.

angeltreats

Thanks guys. Much appreciated. I can't believe someone would announce a pregnancy on FB on a cake?! That is truly the world gone mad. I won't be announcing it on FB at all, people I care about will be told in person or by phone if they're far away.

Massive hugs to you Code.

vesper

Removed due to being an insensitive !!!!!.

frozenpenguin

Just popping in quickly (and sorry for bringing the thread down)
Two tests done this morning - both BFN

The only thing is, last time, I was spotting by day 8 and AF arrived properly on day 13. This time round it's 14dp5dt and still not a whiff of AF.

Spoke to the clinic this morning who asked if I'd been drinking a lot of water (which I have been doing as instructed) and they told me to test again on Thursday if AF hasn't arrived by then (as apparently lots of liquid can dilute the result).

Not holding out much hope though - it's about right for my body to do something completely different each time!

Will catch up properly with everyone (and update the lists) later this evening xxx

tea_lover

vesper wrote: »

OMG code please don't give up. I am very sorry but I am going to be incredibly blunt here. Please don't give up just because of your OH. It is your body and your decision, not just his. Can he not see how selfish he is being?

Sorry to delurk to be stroppy but I think that's really unfair. Everyone has a limit of what they'd be prepared to do and code's OH is just as entitled to have a cut-off point as the rest of us.

I won't say anymore as I really don't want to start an argument but that really riled me!