How do I deal with my teenage son

Buzzybee90

Shelldean wrote: »

House isn't big enough for a table... we're really classy and eat off our laps EEK!


And so long as they are clean and their pj's are clean And we have no guests then nope I don't mind.


edited to say, I think as a parent I need to pick my battles and this one that I'm happy to let go

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

My parents are like this - my Dad, in particular. In his mind, you put nightwear on just before you go to bed, and change out of it almost immediately after you wake up.

Yep!

Maybe when I'm a bit older and have a bigger place (with carpets as wood floors make it so cold!) I will be concerned enough to buy some comfy clothes that aren't sleepwear. Well, is a onesie sleepwear if you still change into pjs? Hha

[Deleted User]

If he wants to make a career out of the computer game industry, this might be a way in - I imagine that it's highly competitive to get a foot in the door, and seems to be very focused in specific locations. But if it's something that motivates him then it might be worth considering.

https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/advice/planning/jobprofiles/Pages/computergamestester.aspx

gocurlygirl

Very difficult ,my heart goes out to you and very much so to shushannah. DD at 17 was difficult,she was going through the stage of not wanting to listen to our opinions or advice and 6th form was not doing her any good-she had grown out of school and not really doing anything.I said 'if you are not going to school you must find something' -luckily she looked into available options and found a really good college course,made good friends there too,and is now at university.she is still not sure what she wants to do and I don't think what I said was much but she had our support.and was able to make the moves she wanted.(She wanted to make her own decisions,if I had told her to go to college she would have refused, I am sure!)
good luck to your son,I think it is a hard age to be.

Contessa

Shushannah wrote: »

I had a sixteen year old until the fourth of January this year, when he killed himself. His 17th birthday would have been yesterday.

Consider the posibility that he is just struggling with life and needs some positive encouragement, or may just be depressed and needs help.

Being sixteen can be tough.

So, so sorry to read your post-my heart goes out to you. I wish I had better words to say to you at this dreadful time for you.

~Chameleon~

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You let your children sit at the table in pjs...?

Excuse me?? They're in their own home for goodness sake, not eating out in a restaurant!

We are another household that wear pjs, trackies or onesies whilst in the comfort of our own home. I often don't get dressed for days, only if/when I need to leave the house!

~Chameleon~

Shushannah wrote:

I had a sixteen year old until the fourth of January this year, when he killed himself. His 17th birthday would have been yesterday.

Consider the posibility that he is just struggling with life and needs some positive encouragement, or may just be depressed and needs help.

Being sixteen can be tough.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family at this tragic time xxx

Blackpool_Saver

My son who is almost 21 has recently taken to wearing what he calls lounge pants, to me they look like things old men wear, funny how fashions come round. He can't wait to get them on at night, mainly because like most kids his pants are always falling down and being pulled up, because he will not fully pull them up so they stay put (drives me barmy) sick of seeing his underpants.........anyway I have digressed.....these young men are aimless, it's the culture today, it's the way of the world. They will eventually come out of it, just keep sending good messages and setting a good example....

Dave101t

he should have been doing chores from age 10. Is it really a surprise the way he is now?

securityguy

Domino9 wrote: »

If he wants to make a career out of the computer game industry

Then he'll need a numerate degree, with the real shortage being in people who can code but also have postgraduate qualifications in physics. Computer science degrees usually require A Level maths (there are a handful of exceptions, but in general those that don't wouldn't come close to equipping you for work in the games industry) and the degrees in "Game Design" and so on are quite competitive and there is some question as to how attractive the graduates are.

Given this is a discussion about someone who appears to have failed all his GCSEs and doesn't have GCSE English or Maths, graduate careers involving A Level maths seem a little unrealistic.

alwaysworried_2

Once again thank you everyone for your advice.

he doesn't have a social life. He has a handful of friends at school but they never invite him out to parties etc. any friends he does talk to outwits school is always on Skype to play games on the play station, but they boys have a social life.

he is sitting computing at school however, he is failing he failed his exam so won't get to sit the bit exam in near the end of term!

To the poster who said he should have been doing chores since he was 10... Where in my post did I say he had just started doing chores? He has actually be asked to do chores since he was 8, it's only been in the last couple of years that his attitude to chores has changed.

It's not just the career thing, it's his social life too. I keep thinking he must feel awfully lonely and I have asked him about it. he says he does feel lonely sometimes and he wishes he would get invited to parties etc, and he says he does wish he sometimes he had a girlfriend so I've told him he should get himself out and about more, but he doesn't want to invite himself to parties etc.
he isn't a popular boy at school, but everyone seems to say hello to him from what he tells me.

he really is such a lovely boy, although a moody teenager who thinks his mum is a dinosaur.