How do I deal with my teenage son

Shelldean

Brighton_belle wrote: »

He's getting into his pyjamas by 5pm? That seems very odd to me.

oh dear I have odd boys then, my three are all in Pj's pretty quickly once home.


DS1 18 in sixth form, gets into his as soon as he is home from school, except Tues when he is a beaver leader so PJ on once that's done. and Wens when he does a PT job till 10pm.


DS2 ( the one I mentioned previously)also 18 he comes in from work has his dinner, and provided it's not his turn to walk the dog Pj's go on. In fact sometimes even when it is his turn he puts the PJ's and changes to walk the dog.


DS3 15 is often but not always in PJ's by dinner time.


Even DD 21 often puts her pj's on when she is at home ( not often enough these days )

Lieja

If he has no hobbies then he needs a part time job. I work with young people and 'having something to talk about' in an interview is the deciding factor for about 90% of jobs that don't require specific qualifications. And no - playing games or 'socialising with friends' does not count! He definitely needs some good career guidance, before he's stuck in the NEET pile. If he's not academic, has he thought about a practical apprenticeship?

Mojisola

alwaysworried wrote: »

One thing I can say about him is he is a people person

he loves talking to people.

he seems to attract all folk no matter where he is.

earlier tonight he asked if he could go and live with his aunt and uncle who are in Australia for the summer. I told him no because we can't afford the cost of this, so cue slamming of the doors etc.

This would be my starting point - this is what he's good at so work with that, especially when he's failing at school.

Has he been tested for dyslexia?

Could you revisit the possibility of a trip to Australia or something else nearer home - you offer to match every pound he can earn with another pound?

paulineb_2

Hes 16 years old, many 16 year olds dont have part time jobs or dont know what they want to do with their life. I know I didnt and I didnt have a part time job at that age either and it wasnt for the want of trying.

I think he needs to sit down with someone, not necessarily someone in the family and have a discussion about future options, careers guidance maybe.

Btw, I spent most of yesterday in my PJs, dont think its an issue someone wanting to change when they get home.

Buzzybee90

Shelldean wrote: »

oh dear I have odd boys then, my three are all in Pj's pretty quickly once home.


DS1 18 in sixth form, gets into his as soon as he is home from school, except Tues when he is a beaver leader so PJ on once that's done. and Wens when he does a PT job till 10pm.


DS2 ( the one I mentioned previously)also 18 he comes in from work has his dinner, and provided it's not his turn to walk the dog Pj's go on. In fact sometimes even when it is his turn he puts the PJ's and changes to walk the dog.


DS3 15 is often but not always in PJ's by dinner time.


Even DD 21 often puts her pj's on when she is at home ( not often enough these days )

You let your children sit at the table in pjs...?

I admit to being guilty of this, in my own home (who can be bothered with two changes!) but I'd never get away with it at my parents!!:D

nearlyrich

Shushannah wrote: »

I had a sixteen year old until the fourth of January this year, when he killed himself. His 17th birthday would have been yesterday.

Consider the posibility that he is just struggling with life and needs some positive encouragement, or may just be depressed and needs help.

Being sixteen can be tough.

That is very sad I can't think of anything worse to happen to a parent, it's true what you say being 16 is tough and play station games etc whilst not being the best thing in the world are an escape for many teens.

jinty271

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You let your children sit at the table in pjs...?

Do you have teenagers??

Seriously, if you can safely steer them through into their 20's with only this as a worry, then you either live in Stepford, or Fantasy Island !

Buzzybee90

jinty271 wrote: »

Do you have teenagers??

Seriously, if you can safely steer them through into their 20's with only this as a worry, then you either live in Stepford, or Fantasy Island !

No, but I'm only 3 years older than one.

jinty271

nearlyrich wrote: »

That is very sad I can't think of anything worse to happen to a parent, it's true what you say being 16 is tough and play station games etc whilst not being the best thing in the world are an escape for many teens.

I did not see this before - my heart goes out to you - it puts these trivial annoyances into perspective .

paulineb_2

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

No, but I'm only 3 years older than one.

But not every family will have the same rules re how you need to be dressed to eat their dinner. Or not as the case may be.