How do I deal with my teenage son

Buzzybee90

paulineb wrote: »

But not every family will have the same rules re how you need to be dressed to eat their dinner. Or not as the case may be.

Fair enough!

saving2704

When I was 17 I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do. So I got a modern apprenticeship in business studies whilst I worked it out. I can understand that he just doesn't know yet - and its better he admit it then let you fork out money for college/uni when he's not sure.

He has no excuse for not helping round the house though. My worst punishment when I was a teenage brat was having my phone and internet taken away.

Brighton_belle

Shelldean wrote: »

oh dear I have odd boys then, my three are all in Pj's pretty quickly once home.

mrsscattercushion wrote: »

Actually, not that odd, I know many people come home from work and put on pj's/dressing gowns etc as comfy clothes for the evening.

Happy to stand corrected. I associate being in PJ's in the day with being ill but it would be a dull world if we were all the same

meritaten

if he enjoys game playing would he be interested in doing a computer programming course in college? because developing and testing software is a job for the seriously interested gamer. and it could be right up his street. might motivate him and tbh - you don't need to be super intelligent to do programming.
a basic course in computing could point out his strengths or weakness and if it is a contender for a future career.
and when I did my BTec Nat Cert in Computing one of the best programmers in the class was dyslexic!
I am number dyslexic and found programming an easy part of the course - but tedious!

Laurajo_2

Sometimes I think that, with teenagers (and husbands for that matter!) when they feel 'nagged' at, they often just go into complete shut-down mode and don't even think about what you are saying - regardless of whether or not you are right, it gets to be just 'oh, here she goes again...'

If he wants to leave school after this year, he must realise that at this point he will have to think about further training or work...I would be surprised if the school haven't broached this subject with him either.

Sixteen is a funny age - although as a parent you can see that they will soon have to make it in the big wide world, remember they have spent all their life so far as children so it really is an alien concept to a lot of them and some cope with it by not acknowledging the fact.

Does he have much of a social life? Sad to say, it is often friends who exert the most influence at this stage and you might find that your son will fall into line when his friends start moving on with there lives.

I don't think you have too much to worry about - my brother was exactly the same but bumbled along and although he didn't excel academically and had no great passions or interests, he now has a decent job, his own house and family....and is now in the exact same place as you, worrying about his seventeen year olds lack of motivation!

jinty271

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Happy to stand corrected. I associate being in PJ's in the day with being ill but it would be a dull world if we were all the same

Exactly I work from home and am lucky enough to earn an extremely generous salary - but I only get dressed on the weekends when I need to go out the house (although I do bathe every night and change the PJ's) - in my industry it is a standing joke that PJ's are our unifiom haha

meritaten

and don't despair - my bro was terrible in school! I don't think he learned a thing! Then he met his wife and suddenly discovered he didn't want to be a security guard all his life. He applied for and got a university place as a 'mature student' and got an honours degree in communications (no I have no clue what that actually involves) and now works for one of Wales most prestigious quangos, sorry, Public Offices).

Shelldean

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You let your children sit at the table in pjs...?

I admit to being guilty of this, in my own home (who can be bothered with two changes!) but I'd never get away with it at my parents!!:D

House isn't big enough for a table... we're really classy and eat off our laps EEK!


And so long as they are clean and their pj's are clean And we have no guests then nope I don't mind.


edited to say, I think as a parent I need to pick my battles and this one that I'm happy to let go

myonlysunshine

I feel for you OP...

My eldest son is now 19 and had done his two years at college because his friends did, he didn't know what else to do, he though he could skive etc but mostly because he couldn't be bothered (to be polite) to get a bloomin job! He's a clever lad but a lazy one, he's had three part time jobs since he left college and has now decided he wants to got to Uni after the 'penny has dropped and he has seen the error of his ways!!'

I personally think apprenticeships are a great way to learn a trade and be earning some money and at least give them some experience of work and getting into a routine too, there's nothing worse then complaining that they can't sleep till 2am and not wake till 11am because they are not doing what they should!!

Do you think another year at school a good idea for your son? It sounds like he doesn't know what he really wants and may need some further education/career advice..he will get there it's a difficult age to know what they want but there's no excuse for not helping at home while he's not doing anything else! Good luck

neverdespairgirl

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You let your children sit at the table in pjs...?

I admit to being guilty of this, in my own home (who can be bothered with two changes!) but I'd never get away with it at my parents!!:D

My parents are like this - my Dad, in particular. In his mind, you put nightwear on just before you go to bed, and change out of it almost immediately after you wake up.