How do I deal with my teenage son

securityguy

alwaysworried wrote: »

thanks for replying.

he hates school always has. he has never done well in school and never wanted to.

So what did you do about that at the time?

You've listed a range of punishments, but no mention of any support or encouragement.

koan_2

He needs something that'll spark his interest. Unfortunately once they get playing on the computer, it starts to take over their life a bit and they often don't want to do anything else.

This idea will probably go down like a lead balloon but I'd suggest he takes a week off the computer/facebook/playstation/tv and see what he comes up with to occupy himself. My guess is he won't just sit there staring at the walls, - he'll start to come up with things he'd like to try.

Raksha

I too have a 16 year old, only mines left college... he has no idea what he wants to do, but he knows he wants money for Download.... So he's looking for a volunteer jib in a local charity shop and is looking to set himself up buying and selling Airfix models alongside his Dad as self employed

kazwookie

Get him to the local college for careers advise.

[Deleted User]

Perhaps he should attend a local college open day to see if he has any interest in anything that they have on offer there, they will be able to offer more practical subjects.

If he has failed all but one exam in his current school does that mean that he doesn't have GCSE English and Maths? (if not, then I suggest that he gets these, as most employers will require them as a minimum - can also be taken at college if school doesn't suit).

If he doesn't like school and is failing what he is attending there, is there any real benefit to staying on? While I agree doing nothing is not the answer, but perhaps an apprenticeship or college course might be a better and ultimately more valuable option.

look at other options than school if he's really that uninterested, unmotivated, and achieving little (his confidence can't be high either if he keeps failing).

Shushannah

I had a sixteen year old until the fourth of January this year, when he killed himself. His 17th birthday would have been yesterday.

Consider the posibility that he is just struggling with life and needs some positive encouragement, or may just be depressed and needs help.

Being sixteen can be tough.

Carl31

At 17 I was doing technical a levels in computing and electronics and stuff, at 18 o was studying engineering

At 33 I'm a financial controller and qualified accountant. I really don't think 17 year olds need to get too hung up on careers, they have no experience of working life, so how will they know what they want to do?

Netwizard

I'm 30 this year and i dont know what i want to do either!!

Tiglath

Shushannah wrote: »

I had a sixteen year old until the fourth of January this year, when he killed himself. His 17th birthday would have been yesterday.

Consider the posibility that he is just struggling with life and needs some positive encouragement, or may just be depressed and needs help.

Being sixteen can be tough.

Don't know what to say. Just wanted to acknowledge your loss, my dear.

[Deleted User]

Carl31 wrote: »

At 17 I was doing technical a levels in computing and electronics and stuff, at 18 o was studying engineering

At 33 I'm a financial controller and qualified accountant. I really don't think 17 year olds need to get too hung up on careers, they have no experience of working life, so how will they know what they want to do?

But you wanted to do something, right? You had some kind of drive or enthusiasm?

Frankly (and my kids are way younger), I'd say that the parenting failure may have happened a long time ago. Has he ever had a job? Have you ever pushed him towards getting any type of employment at all?

I do agree, that it should be the dad piping up on this. Your fella needs to show your son what can become of his life if he carries on doing nothing. Let him know he's not going to get to sit at home, on some form of benefits, playing on his playstation, into his 20s. Time to 'man up' and be hard parents.