How do I deal with my teenage son

paulineb_2

alwaysworried wrote: »

I should also point out, he was in the lowest classes for all his subjects. he has had one to one teaching whilst in school and when he spoke to his guidance teacher he told her he would like to work in a gym so she told him what he would need to get entry into college but he doesn't have these exam results and I've tried to explain that he will need to try to get better results if he wants to work in a gym and also to try and get him to maybe even join a gym to work out a bit, get to know some of the people that work in the gym and as I said even if he asked to do some voluntary work even one hour a week just to get a little bit of experience. trying to get a job these days for young people is so hard.

He doesnt need any exam results to work in a gym, he doesnt need to do it through college, he could do a level 2 gym instructor qualification through somewhere like the YMCA or other providers, there are different ways of doing this, you can do it over 7 weekends for example.

The YMCA as far as I am aware also offer young people fitness apprenticeships although I think thats mainly in London.

What he will need to do though, is study anatomy and physiology as part of the gym instructors exam and the pass mark is 70 per cent so theres a fair amount of study involved.

My brother does have a degree but hes now a personal trainer and he started off with his gym level 2 qualification, then the rest to make up the PT diploma, his other qualifications didnt matter. I have my exercise to music level 2 and the same applied. I booked on the course, paid for it and that was that.

But he will need to study to get through the course if thats what he wants to do. Certainly doesnt need maths or english to do a level 2 fitness qualification, but will need to study for the theory exams.
Theres one on anatomy and physiology and one on the principles of fitness.

It used to be that certain fitness providers only took people who were 18 and over, now most of them allow people 16 and over to book on.

He could do it before he left school if he finds a weekend course, as the exams and practical assessments are generally scheduled for the weekends as well.

And I would say if he is going to do a course like this shop around, prices do vary. The YMCA are quite expensive but there are different providers that do the courses, as long as the end result is a level 2 and endorsed by CYQ its the same qualification he would be getting at the end.

I paid £620 for my ETM 6 years ago but I did my course classroom based, it can be cheaper if you study the theory part at home, but that takes a lot of motivation and if you are new to A and P you might benefit from one where you go in to study both the practical elements and the anatomy and physiology.

I paid much less for my gym level 2 which Im currently studying, but I got a discount as I already have the A and P part. Shop around, but expect to pay anything from about £400-£800 depending on what provider you go with.

You can also study for gym level 2 and ETM through a local college, but again, for a course at that level, you shouldnt need any exam results to book on

https://www.fitnessindustryeducation.com/fitness-instructor-courses.aspx

Just a link to show some information and how much this company charges.

paulineb_2

http://www.lcbt.co.uk/employability/free-courses/

Some other info about free courses, you need to be over 18 so it wont apply to the OPs son (this isnt through the YMCA) and in receipt of JSA but it might be useful to someone else.

Just checked YMCA fits prices, gym level 2 is £839, personally I wouldnt pay that if I could get the same course for £450-500

Also, I dont know where you are in the country but if you are in Scotland, the two main companies who do level 2 gym are fitness scotland and fitness education academy, fitness scotlands course is about £450 or so.

paulineb_2

I would say personally, I understand about trying to motivate him by saying he needs to get better exam results if he wants to work in a gym, but if he doesnt need any results to book on and he is interested in it then you could perhaps say on the understanding that he gets a job for a few hours a week that he could work towards paying for the course if its what he really wants to do and that its better for him to get the discipline of studying as he is going to have to study for that qualification.

There will be people who have level 2 and level 3 fitness qualifications that dont have any other formal qualifications, sometimes it can take time for people to work out what it is they are really interested in.

Also, when and if he does book on, ask what resit fees are. Some companies charge £40 upwards if you fail theory or practical and need to resit, others dont charge anything.

securityguy

"When he sat his final exams last year, he just passed and no more"

So what qualifications does he actually have?

sulkisu

Dave101t wrote: »

he should have been doing chores from age 10. Is it really a surprise the way he is now?

10? They should be doing chores as soon as they are physically able. DS1 is 3 - his current 'chores' are making his bed in the morning (well, pulling the quilt up which takes about 10 seconds) and putting his toys away.


Anyway, I don't think that OP said that he has only just started doing chores.

red_devil

Princes trust.

*Robin*

alwaysworried wrote: »

he does think everything should be handed to him on a plate. earlier tonight he asked if he could go and live with his aunt and uncle who are in Australia for the summer. I told him no because we can't afford the cost of this, so cue slamming of the doors etc.

Sorry AW, but you missed an opportunity to engage your son here.
If he wants to spend a summer in Australia that's a fantastic ambition! He will learn so much, gain maturity and a more independent outlook.
Assuming Aunt and Uncle are happy to host the lad, the next discussion should be:
How does Dear Son plan to raise the money for his flights?
He'll also need funds to pay his board and lodging - so Step One is that DS needs to research cost of flights, visa details, get in touch with Aunt and Uncle, and have a jolly good think about what he can do to make his dream a reality..

Am a great believer in swapping teenagers. All mine had extended trips visiting far-flung friends and family, and we hosted their youngsters in return. It's amazing how much better any teen behaves in someone else's home!

Buzzybee90

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Excuse me?? They're in their own home for goodness sake, not eating out in a restaurant!

We are another household that wear pjs, trackies or onesies whilst in the comfort of our own home. I often don't get dressed for days, only if/when I need to leave the house!

I don't think it's weird for me to think is strange behaviour.

To me pjs are for sleeping. Comfy clothes are fine, I didn't say you had to eat in your Sunday best!

If I saw someone in pjs at 2pm I'd think they must be awfully lazy..!

picklekin

Brighton_belle wrote: »

He's getting into his pyjamas by 5pm? That seems very odd to me.

I do this! It saves me getting another set of clothes dirty! Only in the winter when its dark though!

Brighton_belle

picklekin wrote: »

I do this! It saves me getting another set of clothes dirty! Only in the winter when its dark though!

Yup, already responded to such comments on a previous post.


I do think there is a difference between a working adult/active young person doing it and a "dispirited unhappy , no friends, no social life" teenager doing it though - I would feel a little concerned that it would be part of a slippery slope to depression and lack of structure/isolation. (But not the case where everyone in the household does it obviously)
However, I can see that this is far more normal than I had anticipated, so fair do's, each to their own.
I was very disabled for 5 yrs when younger and I think the one thing I remained determined to do, when I could do little else, was get washed and dressed everyday - helped me not to slide down mentally. So we all come from a different place.